29 April 2009

FW: Have a Better Day

My dad sends me e-mails that he gets from somewhere - I have no idea. He sends them to a passel of people, but today, I am very depressed over things that go beyond the boundaries of my blog and in pops this e-mail. That and having to trudge through airports soon enough - I just want to lie in bed and moan, so this came at a very opportune time and I am going to decide he sent it just to me, to make me feel better.

It made me smile. Thanks Dad.

The next time you feel that nobody loves you, no one cares, or that no one ever notices you, think of this poor guy: (Lori here, you might want to click on it and blow the photo up to read it)


(Lori here again - since Jen decided I needed a nickname and that it would be Lori-the-Gory and I - hopefully - assume she is not talking about my makeup, clothing style, etc - thought I would add the first question that popped in my head: decomp happens immediately - 5 days? Do they work in a refrigerator? WHO WOULD NOT SMELL THIS GUY AND THE STUFF LEAKING FROM HIS BODY?

The rest are not from a 'reputable new article' so I don't know if they are true or not, but they made me smile anyway)

Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These . . .

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.



Still Having a Bad Day?


The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.



Still think you are having a Bad Day?


A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.



Are Ya OK Now? - No?



Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.



What? STILL having a Bad Day?


Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!



There now, Feeling Better?

5 comments:

Laura said...

The first story was just sad. You are not alone in your goriness, because one of my first thoughts was also that he would have started to smell by the time they discovered he was dead.

The other stories? Hilarious!! Thank you for sharing!

Good luck tomorrow on your journey to and through the airport, and your long flight. I'm looking forward to reading your posts from Australia.

Shel said...

Those are some pretty funny stories.. thanks for sharing. I hope and pray that everything goes smoothly for you during your travels and you thoroughly enjoy your trip. We'll be thinking about you and waiting to see your pictures :)

Leslie said...

Bright spot in my day!?!?!

Val and Marceil said...

They made me laugh too. Sometimes fate has a sense of humor too.

Dad

Jennifer said...

Since you always, as I say, "blow into church looking sexy," the nickname must refer to your sense of humor. Satan dog toy, etc. You should keep a pen and paper handy on the plane and record your gory thoughts. I'd love to read that blog.