05 April 2009

The Continually Raging War at my House ...

... my birdhouse!

This is serious stuff folks! I put bird seed out every now and again when I start missing the warmongers and it starts all over again.

Near as I can tell, the bigger you are, the better off you are at scaring everything away and getting your fill of bird yummies. I believe this is called the pecking order - maybe not the size but the sparrows are run off by the 'skanky cardinal' (more about him later), the cardinal is run off by the small black birds (you know - the ones with the creepy yellow eyes) and the small black birds are run off by the biggest of the big black birds (with the creepy black eyes).

This morning during the melee - I was seriously jonesing for a BB-gun to shoot those incredibly rude black birds! And in each group - there is always one shitty little stingy guy - who won't even let their own species eat with them - that or is VERY antisocial ... or both. And nasty! Snapping, poking, wing flapping, just putting on a 'look at me I'm a spoiled antisocial, ungrateful, heartless bitch' show.

So day in and day out the fight goes on, rarely changes except when my cardinal makes a rare appearance to throw some color into the picture. The creepy thing? He looks fake. Scruffy, weird eyes, kinda picture a sparrow in a aged, mildewed, feathers falling out Muppet costume, and there you have my cardinal. And unless they all look this ugly bad and are photoshopped into perfection in all the photos I see of them, it is always the same one ... or it and its spawn.

This morning after an appearance from scruffy cardinal, I looked up and there was a beautiful small black bird with the most exotic wings I have ever seen. The wings were still black, but had a layer each of white, yellow, orange and red feathers - making a beautiful end stripey thing at the end of each wing.

Have no clue what sort of bird this was having never seen one so immediately my mind went *bing*: 'exotic foreign bird' and he started talking with a french accent. (Y'all should know by now that I carry on a plethora of imaginary conversations in my head - don't know if this is from a scarring childhood, lack of friends or just being plain batshit crazy, but there it is). He (yeah - don't ask - it was a male voice) told one of the other birds, between bites of birdseed, that he was on his way from France to the Mexican Rivera (is there EVEN such a thing? Just popped in my head - and I have NO DOUBT he will get there).

He was very friendly and when the big black bird swooped out of the tree like it does just for fun to scare all the baby sparrows away - the ... I'll call him Francois - Francois held his ground! He seemed very polite about it. Muttering something about not knowing about the 'strange American eating customs'. The black bird puffed up all its feathers thus doubling its size and screamed what can only be obscenities at him. His reply: "Well, that is just rude, and uncalled for, eat with me, mi ami".

And the big black bird, cocked his head AND FLEW AWAY! Who knew? Throw someone in who dares stand his ground, speaks with a foreign accent, or is too confused with the local customs / skirmishes to know exactly what he is supposed to be doing, and my BB-gun is not needed.

Of course, Francois let all the baby sparrows eat with him, being the kind Frenchman that he is (oxymoron ... I know! Don't tell the French I said that - their birds are much kinder than the treatment I got in Paris by the humans - but, Sarah - I LOVED every minute of it! Especially after, like you guys, started speaking Norwegian instead of English - they ADORED my confused Norwegian act ... Ryan? Not so much - I mortified him - but we got food! And help! And conversations I didn't know if I was going to be able to keep up my 'Norwegian speaking in broken English' accent - but I had a blast!).

So, a bright spot in my brains twisted, Sunday morning soap opera. Playing / working on my computer in front of my big front window over looking my Bird House.

As I write this, peace still abounds. I hope Francois lingers for just a bit (or a season) before moving on to his final destination.


ADDENDUM:
My new friend A.J. was trying to help me identify my bird and the one he suggested did not look quite right but got me googling 'black bird with orange, yellow and white stripes on its wings' and surprisingly enough, I was directed to the red-winged black bird. Most did not look like the bird I saw, but this one photo was surprisingly close (the stripe was longer and ran along the entire outer edge of his wing):

So, my exotic french bird / Frenchman fantasy is shattered, just another not-so-plain-'ole black bird albeit much more polite than the scrappers that usually show up. (But still - I hope he makes it to the Mexican Rivera....)

6 comments:

A.J. said...

Lori, Your unidentified bird might be a Rufous Sided Towhee, from the description. He would have red eyes and about the size of a Robin.I envy you we don't get Cardinals in our area scruffy or otherwise. Enjoyed the post A.J.

Lori Hurst said...

Thanks for the heads up - I don't know birds at all. Lived in Norway for two years and had a bird feeder with all sorts of fun, polite birds frequenting it, and could not give it up after moving back to the states. I have never tried to figure out what kind of bird was what.

Yours was not quite right, but it got me googling and I think I found it. I didn't think I could put in something so obscure and come up with a bird name. I might just keep it up!

A.J said...

That's a Red Winged Black Bird, they tend to hang out in the marshes and cattails. They are very territorial during the nesting season becareful they will dive bomb unsuspecting walkers. Have a good day A.J

Jennifer said...

In all of the gang wars, I'm surprised there isn't a mockingbird in there. They are some mean mamba jambas. They dive bomb cats. And blue jays are mighty cranky. Our nasty cardinals are gone for now. The male was really pretty, but the female was gray with a barely reddish head (or the other way around, I can't remember). BB gun was high on my list. I think the biggest black bird is a grackle. Those are the ones you hear whooping it up in spring (for some reason always around the zoo).

I wonder what would happen if you set up another restaurant nearby? Or a birdbath! Fights at the swimming pool!

Lori Hurst said...

Does everyone know all this information about birds? Cause I missed the college course!

Tina said...

Thanks very much!
I just saw a bird just like the one in the picture and searched to see what it was. None of the pictures looked like this one but here he is. I am in Rosenberg, TX and this is the first time I have seen one at my feeder. So you helped me!

Thanks again,
Tina