We've settled into a routine - one that will probably be knocked on its butt this week, but still - a routine of sorts.
We are at a tentative standoff with the TV. I will stay in the room if it is on the Discovery or History channel, or if the movie looks good ... really, really good. It has been interesting to watch the Aussies point of view on certain historical events, or learn more about the Australian involvement in WWI and WWII and other general Australian history. Tomorrow we get to watch "The History of the US" Aussie style - I am excited to see if it is as dismal as the ones we saw while living in Norway - made by the British! The down side? Had horrible dreams last night after the last show we watched was on the executioners in France. The last person to be Guillotined in France was in 1972 - I find that incredibly bizarre and a bit unsettling that I know it ...
We take walks. I slow my pace so that he doesn't have to tell me to slow down - a very unusual situation for us to be in. Most of the time our pace matches - something it has never done with my 5'2" legs vs his 6'3" legs!
I make meals ... and he eats them! This is a first in about 20 years!
We are together and the pace is ... well - not unhurried - more like at a standstill - and we talk, and laugh and just ... be together. There is no hurry, hurry, hurry - out to the shop to build, build, build. Or just running to run - like he always has done ever since I have known him. He is at a dead stop and taking it rather well I must say. Who knows - he may like life in the slow lane - maybe I can get him to stick around me a bit more after this?
I watch him in pain and my anger for a stupid bus driver grows. One minute life is usual - well - usual in the sense that it has been for the past year and a half and the next - BAM! Your life and the lives of your children are turned upside down. I am getting used to feeling helpless - and getting used to the situation - but I still get angry.
On the way to church there were Jacaranda trees blooming. Hard to imagine that it has been an entire year since I had Jacaranda Fever. A beautiful tree was in bloom across the street from the church and Gary asked me if I had my camera. I told him "No, it's not that kind of trip" ...
.... but maybe, in a few weeks, the cameras can come out ...
4 comments:
I'm glad you are surviving. How fun to find something to enjoy amidst the pain and disappointment.
Give Gary a hug from us.
Lori, a tough life lesson has presented it self, I think sometimes G-d provides us with an opportunity to change rolls in life. I can see read it your words, it's been a long time since you had the chance to take charge to be the rock for Gary.
It will be good for both of you, giving him someone he can count on, and letting you rediscover the strength and character that we all know you have. Enjoy the time, it's could be one of those pivotal moments. Take care my friend. AJ
I like your point of view, AJ. I'm sorry about the anger - that would be my resonse - stupid people shouldn't drive buses. But I am so interested in your journey during the recovery.
Such a sweet post. "I don't know if I have been changed for the better, but because I knew you, I have been changed for good." The ebb and flow of married life - always learning and growing. We finally made it to "Wicked" and loved it, and this song has added meaning and nuances as it is the theme song on Ashley Sullenger's blog, after the loss of their daughter Preslee. Things we think we just can't deal with, sometimes teach us more than we want to learn, but they always teach us.
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