The Chocolate Bar

As promised, I bring you ...

THE CHOCOLATE BAR!!

This is not just ANY chocolate bar. No. This is THE chocolate bar.

As in capitalized: The Chocolate Bar.

It is a place.

With a logo and everything:

It is only in Houston.

It is totally bizarre and beyond words (thus the bazillion photos to follow ...).

I am not sure if there is any thing like it in the entire world.

I think Willy Wonka lives there.

I had no idea it existed until two weeks ago.

It has been featured on The Food Network. Thus the reason I know about it. Apparently my brother-in-law saw a special about it on The Food Network and really wanted to go see it.

Seriously ... who watches The Food Network?

I guess everybody except me since when he started discussing it, Ryan and Ale piped up and said they had seen the same special and would like to see it too. So after heading to the George R. Brown Convention Center for my brother-in-law to register, we turned around and headed for home, with a stop at The Rice Village in search of The Chocolate Bar.

Before I inundate you with photos, a weird side note. We went in and were amazed, but we were hungry and decided that being in a candy store starving was not the best idea in the world, so we decided to go get lunch and then come back to take photos and shop. We were discussing where to eat when Steve, my brother-in-law, said he had asked the guy working there where was a good place to eat and he pointed out a place that he said people came from all over to eat at. We decided that was a good enough endorsement and left the store. Steve pointed the restaurant out for us.

What?

It was Jason's Deli.

Jason's Deli? Sure the food is good, but there is one near our house and we eat there every now and then. They have to-die-for broccoli cheese soup and the best Muffuletta you will find anywhere. (A muffuletta is a New Orleans sandwich made with Sicilian bread with an marinated olive salad and layers of meats - it is huge. You only make the mistake of getting a whole one once - I usually get 1/4th a sandwich - and the fact that they sell a fourth of a sandwich should tell you something ...)

We were confused. It was as if he had said that people come from far and wide to go to McDonald's across the street to eat. Those that live in the Houston area, I am assuming know the restaurant. I guess it is not everywhere as we thought it was.

Go figure.

We ate lunch then crossed back over the street to The Chocolate Bar.

The 'main' area:

Here is a bizarre little nook that contains every candy from your childhood that you can think of. It was weird and a trip down memory lane. They even had candy cigarettes - a DESPICABLE candy! I can't believe they are still being made.

Then I just began to wander and take photos of the grundle of chocolate products for sale.

Jen - here is your 'chocolate bar':

Everything looked perfect - especially the berries:
Tasty:
More perfect berries:

More lovely chocolate:
Pretty, pretty little chocolates:

And then ...


... I saw these. Being full of lunch, I wanted to barf! Seriously - who dips twinkies in chocolate? It's like chocolate and ....


... dirt.

Here are just the prettiest cakes on the planet. And BIG! They are $75.00 a piece, so I didn't get a whole one, but since Fathers Day was the following day, I selected 3 slices of a variety of cakes and we had it for dessert the following day.

The verdict? Not so great. Just tasted like ...


... cake.

And then I just went to town photographing everything that I thought was cute, funny or unique. I realized that was EVERYTHING and I probably wasn't going to be able to photograph every item in the store ... but I made a pretty big dent! I pared it down, but still a bundle of chocolate photos to follow.

Cute little baking set:

Sorry, all my photos have a sheen since the chocolate was all packaged in cellophane (of course ...).

Since we are in Texas:

A chocolate CD! I am assuming this is for adults - come to think of it - who would give any of this to a kid? I just got a flash of what your CD player would look like if your little one decided to listen to it ...

The CUTEST computer:
For the Fireman or arsonist in your life:
Guitar:
A Christmas present for your hairdresser:

I could give this to Gary ... but he doesn't really eat chocolate (I KNOW! He doesn't like strawberries or raspberries either ... something is wrong in his brain):

For the policeman in your life ... or someone really kinky ... Kidding, but - hey - who wouldn't want a pair of chocolate handcuffs? A truly one-of-a-kind gift:

A Piano might be a bit safer:

And, here we are again ...

I mean - WHO wouldn't want a chocolate PMS pill? I sure it works!! Really! Especially since you can't gauge size in this photo - it is about six inches in diameter and thick - a TON of chocolate!

For the TV lover in your life:
For the sharp dresser:
For the shopaholic:
And finally, a set for my type of guy ... the weird non-chocolate-eater:

It was fun! Other than some cinnamon jelly beans and the cake slices, I didn't buy any of this delicious stuff ...


Later I wondered why ...

My friend Bonne called me today. She had seen that I was going to blog about The Chocolate Bar and she had written on her Facebook page a few days ago that she had visited there while waiting for her husband who was having surgery and wanted to know if I had seen her post. I said that I had - and yet again, was the only person in Houston that did not know about this place.

She mentioned the ice cream was divine, and I thought ice cream? Then I remembered, oh yeah - there was a ice cream section I had paid no attention to. She then told me that since she had time to kill and there were no customers she asked the employee a ton of questions. Come to find out, it started out as an ice cream shop. Weird, I would have assumed that it had started out as a chocolate store and just got really, really, REALLY out of control ...


So there you have it:

The Chocolate Bar ... as promised.

*****

ADDENDUM:

Like this post wasn't long enough ...

Some things are much better left forgotten, but Cherri, my sister-in-law reminded me in the comments of one of their purchases at The Chocolate Bar. It was a mix of pretzels and Frito's. Covered in chocolate.


Yes: Frito's



COVERED IN CHOCOLATE.


They could not convince me to try it. It seemed as natural as chocolate covered broccoli. They said at the store that it was a Texas thing - that Frito's were a HUGE deal in Texas.

I did not know that.

Really.

This is news to me. I did not know that I had to be crazy for Frito's to live here ...

Every time they offered a taste to someone and they bravely tried it - they declared that it was tasty - sort of salty and sweet at the same time. And every time I wanted to gag as the smell of Frito's wafted unnaturally through the air ...

Ugh ...