Cheesecake Therapy

Linda, my friend drug me off to lunch yesterday because I couldn't do anything but sit and stare at the computer and cry. She said I needed to get out (I'm pretty sure what I needed to do was bathe .... or clean the house .... or unpack - there is a plethora of things I am shirking). We went to the Cheesecake Factory. I left with a complete 10 inch strawberry cheesecake. My thinking was it would solve a lot of my problems ....

Ok, it's not raining rainbows and unicorns, but sunrises instead of bones are floating in my head:

"Sunrise over Bear Lake"

"Friday morning while everyone slept"

I don't think it is the cheesecake, though - it just seems to make me sick. Who knew that attempting to eat an entire cheesecake in a 24 hour period might cause a wee bit of gastrointestinal distress?

I have been thinking of the future ... well, actually the past. Jessie had a 5 day trial period at a group home in which she did not win the 'contest' of new resident. But I dropped her off on a Thursday and Gary and I did what any right minded couple would do with new found freedom - we got the hell out of dodge. Went to San Antonio and stayed at the Marriott on the Riverwalk. It was nice. No kids, just us. Nice. New. Weird. Odd.
Gary said the other day he was dreaming of our time in San Antonio and how selfish that was, and you know, I have no idea if it is selfish: wanting that life or not. Not to worry, though - we are getting it anyway. That sounds cool, to just go - like if I wanted to I could take a cruise in August - there is nothing stopping me - it feels odd to know that the tether will be gone soon.

I am curious how I will react - close in on myself, or go out - I find it odd that I have no clue.