By SERIOUSLY the nicest, most considerate ‘bad guys’ evah!!!
Was just on my trusty computer downloading something.
I trusted the site, but the person providing the graphics I was downloading (‘cause, seriously, would I ever download something that was not graphics? Oh – wait – not photos – THAT’S JUST WRONG – but: photo “every-thing-else” so, well – never mind …)
This provider was using a downloader service that I absolutely despise and probably distrust them even more than I hate them!
You know the one(s) -
those guys that even though I have software to block pop ups – find a way to invade my ‘personal space’ and toss out a web page with the dumbest, weirdest, most idiotic offers I have ever seen! It makes me feel as if my IQ has been cut in half - just by staring at their web page.
Add to that those ‘special’ times with the additional, delightful sensation of having just rolled around in a very wet, very aromatic, very ‘muddy’ cow pen on a dairy farm ...
*Sigh*
What I am ‘forced’ to endure for the sake of a few beautiful PNG files!
The sites that are shoved in my face are pretty innocuous for the most part – but every now and then you get an ugly one – the one that pops up screaming like they are on fire and that:
YOUR COMPUTER IS GOING TO DIE!!!!!
I’M TOTALLY SERIOUS!!!!
DIE!!!
A HORRIBLE AWFUL DEATH!!!!!
IN, LIKE THIRTY SECONDS!!!!
It tries to stop screaming and sobbing uncontrollably, pull itself together to let you know that:
YOU GOTTA, LIKE, FIX THIS … MAN.
RIGHT NOW!!!!
There is no ‘exiting’ this nasty piece of work. You try the straightforward approach by clicking on the red ‘X’ button in the upper right hand corner.
No go.
At best it will ignore you. At worst it will start to run! Grrrrr …
There is no option or button for: “Thanks, but just let it explode in my face” or even a “HELL NO!! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY COMPUTER!!” And it wants to touch it – the registry’s, the system files – there is nothing too sacrosanct that it is not willing to muck up for you ... steadfastly refusing to do anything but bravely forge onward …
I can generally extricate myself from this nasty standoff with the ‘Sleazy-Fake-System-Repair-Software’ by entering the ole trusty combo: [ctrl][alt][del] and forcing IE 9 to stop running. Nothing fancy or clever – and sometimes a pain – but it gets the job done …
Soooo – back to earlier this evening:
I just had a wee little skirmish – but with a twist!
It actually had me laughing out loud!!!
Sometimes I get tired of being treated like an idiot, OK MOST times I get rather annoyed when someone just assumes I’m stupid or just does not care whether I care or not. I get irritated …
But you gotta love the really, really stupid ones!
Sheer entertainment!
My ‘First Alert’ warning that my system was going to burst into flames and then blow up – leveling approximately 4 city blocks when it did was a blank white screen with a red message in the middle.
The message said that it was from Microsoft some-thing-or-other, (very official looking) that three very, very dangerous programs / files had invaded my computer and that I MUST RUN THEIR SOFTWARE NOW to fix it or
I - Lori Ann Peterson Hurst -
single-handedly
just might bring upon us –
the end of the world …
Or something kinda like that ...
What set me to laughing? It listed the three file names:
One actually had the word ‘TROJAN’ in it … and ‘launch’
One started with the words: ‘HackTool’
The final one started with the word: ‘AdWare’ and ended with a ‘.Fraud’!
All of the files had somewhere in their names a ‘Win32’ – which is interesting since my computer runs in 64 bit mode!
The names also had a smattering of ‘Official-ley System’ish’ sounding words to make them look oh-so-important and oh-so-official!
Maybe things have changed since I wrote assembler code, de-bugged and rewrote/fixed others ‘spaghetti code’ and was in charge of the security of mainframe computers that generally had about 300 – 500 users on them at any given time – and got to find ‘Bad Files’ and ‘Bad Guy’s’ in real life!!
Cause back then – the ‘Bad Guys’?
They DID NOT MAKE IT EASIER ON YOU BY ACTUALLY NAMING THEIR SOFTWARE SOMETHING HELPFUL:
‘TROJAN’,
‘HACKTOOL’ AND
‘FRAUD’ …
DUDES!!! It’s part of the game – y’all – the key words here being ‘HIDDEN FILE’!!!
And here you thought you were just being nice and helpful …
Gotta say – SUPER sweet –
BUT!
Being a HACKER and being POLITE –
People – these are mutually exclusive …
ALWAYS!
Was just on my trusty computer downloading something.
I trusted the site, but the person providing the graphics I was downloading (‘cause, seriously, would I ever download something that was not graphics? Oh – wait – not photos – THAT’S JUST WRONG – but: photo “every-thing-else” so, well – never mind …)
This provider was using a downloader service that I absolutely despise and probably distrust them even more than I hate them!
You know the one(s) -
those guys that even though I have software to block pop ups – find a way to invade my ‘personal space’ and toss out a web page with the dumbest, weirdest, most idiotic offers I have ever seen! It makes me feel as if my IQ has been cut in half - just by staring at their web page.
Add to that those ‘special’ times with the additional, delightful sensation of having just rolled around in a very wet, very aromatic, very ‘muddy’ cow pen on a dairy farm ...
*Sigh*
What I am ‘forced’ to endure for the sake of a few beautiful PNG files!
The sites that are shoved in my face are pretty innocuous for the most part – but every now and then you get an ugly one – the one that pops up screaming like they are on fire and that:
YOUR COMPUTER IS GOING TO DIE!!!!!
I’M TOTALLY SERIOUS!!!!
DIE!!!
A HORRIBLE AWFUL DEATH!!!!!
IN, LIKE THIRTY SECONDS!!!!
It tries to stop screaming and sobbing uncontrollably, pull itself together to let you know that:
YOU GOTTA, LIKE, FIX THIS … MAN.
RIGHT NOW!!!!
There is no ‘exiting’ this nasty piece of work. You try the straightforward approach by clicking on the red ‘X’ button in the upper right hand corner.
No go.
At best it will ignore you. At worst it will start to run! Grrrrr …
There is no option or button for: “Thanks, but just let it explode in my face” or even a “HELL NO!! DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH MY COMPUTER!!” And it wants to touch it – the registry’s, the system files – there is nothing too sacrosanct that it is not willing to muck up for you ... steadfastly refusing to do anything but bravely forge onward …
I can generally extricate myself from this nasty standoff with the ‘Sleazy-Fake-System-Repair-Software’ by entering the ole trusty combo: [ctrl][alt][del] and forcing IE 9 to stop running. Nothing fancy or clever – and sometimes a pain – but it gets the job done …
Soooo – back to earlier this evening:
I just had a wee little skirmish – but with a twist!
It actually had me laughing out loud!!!
Sometimes I get tired of being treated like an idiot, OK MOST times I get rather annoyed when someone just assumes I’m stupid or just does not care whether I care or not. I get irritated …
But you gotta love the really, really stupid ones!
Sheer entertainment!
My ‘First Alert’ warning that my system was going to burst into flames and then blow up – leveling approximately 4 city blocks when it did was a blank white screen with a red message in the middle.
The message said that it was from Microsoft some-thing-or-other, (very official looking) that three very, very dangerous programs / files had invaded my computer and that I MUST RUN THEIR SOFTWARE NOW to fix it or
I - Lori Ann Peterson Hurst -
single-handedly
just might bring upon us –
the end of the world …
Or something kinda like that ...
What set me to laughing? It listed the three file names:
One actually had the word ‘TROJAN’ in it … and ‘launch’
One started with the words: ‘HackTool’
The final one started with the word: ‘AdWare’ and ended with a ‘.Fraud’!
All of the files had somewhere in their names a ‘Win32’ – which is interesting since my computer runs in 64 bit mode!
The names also had a smattering of ‘Official-ley System’ish’ sounding words to make them look oh-so-important and oh-so-official!
Maybe things have changed since I wrote assembler code, de-bugged and rewrote/fixed others ‘spaghetti code’ and was in charge of the security of mainframe computers that generally had about 300 – 500 users on them at any given time – and got to find ‘Bad Files’ and ‘Bad Guy’s’ in real life!!
Cause back then – the ‘Bad Guys’?
They DID NOT MAKE IT EASIER ON YOU BY ACTUALLY NAMING THEIR SOFTWARE SOMETHING HELPFUL:
‘TROJAN’,
‘HACKTOOL’ AND
‘FRAUD’ …
DUDES!!! It’s part of the game – y’all – the key words here being ‘HIDDEN FILE’!!!
And here you thought you were just being nice and helpful …
Gotta say – SUPER sweet –
BUT!
Being a HACKER and being POLITE –
People – these are mutually exclusive …
ALWAYS!
1 comment:
That was hilarious although I only understood about half of it. :)
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