Doing Hard Things

Jessie came home today … sick. She did what I thought she was going to do 3 months ago. She cried and begged to stay here. She needed to see the nurse for her epilepsy meds and other stuff so I knew I would be taking her back, but in the back of my mind was a war waging. Do I let her sleep here? How big of a deal is that? Isn’t it the kind thing to do? She doesn’t feel good.

She cried the entire way in the car back to Richmond State School. My heart broke somewhere in Pecan Grove … and I just kept driving – telling her everything would be ok. As if I know anything. All today showed me was that I am flying by the seat of my pants and making this up as I go. I’ve never done this before – what is right, what is the best thing for her? Will she just decide she can cry and stay here? It is pretty convincing – and heartbreaking.

She wanted her pink princess blanket and I promised her we would find it. As if I could conjure it out of thin air if it was not in her room. Empty promises are dangerous. We just kept driving …

The nurse said she needs to see the doctor in the morning – which pretty much put coming back home off the table. I took her to her room and her quilt and pink blanket were gone. The lady helping us said she would check the laundry room – and found them. Small miracles.

She layed down and I sat by her bed stroking her hair and she calmed a bit – I just cried. I don’t know what I am doing. Right now I think I deserve the ‘Shittiest Mom of the Year’ award.

They started the movie Madagascar for her and Carrie Ann (her roommate and substitute mother) and ‘Grandma’ (don’t know her real name and other mother hen) came over and put their arms around her. She seemed to perk up and I told her I had to go. She told me ok. I told her I would call her tomorrow and see how she was. She told me ok.

I made it out the door before I started sobbing….

I so suck at doing hard things.

Thanksgiving Saturday

Dates apparently don't concern us. Picked up Jessie at 11:00 - she has a horrible cold. Smokin' a couple of turkey breasts and have the fixins on the stove.

We had Chinese food and Burger King on Thanksgiving day at the airport - it just didn't do it for us, so Gary headed to the store yesterday and we will have Thanksgiving dinner today.

Funniest Moment on the Trip

I'm bored. We are checking out in a few minutes and so I thought that it would be my last possible moment to 'share'. And since I don't think there is going to be anything funny in the least in the next 24 hours (and so now it ensures fun will be had, there you go...) I thought that I would share the funniest moment on the trip - unfortunately it was the first morning here. Gary and I went to a continental breakfast and left Ryan in bed. Not that you really need to know except for this moment, Ryan sleeps with covers over his head.

Anyway ... the maids come in. The clean the living room, the kitchen, the master bedroom, BOTH bathrooms and the kid has still not woken up to inform them someone is sleeping in condo. He says he woke up a split second before one of the maids pulled the covers off him and screamed to high heaven. Thankfully he had woken up and realized that someone was coming and it was not us - so he didn't say anything 'bad' but did start laughing.

They fled the condo to his laughter and by my estimation have been in since just long enough to change the towels and make the beds....

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, we are on the home stretch. While y'all are eating turkey and stuffing, we will be schlepping through the airport then a jump to Honolulu and then the mother of all flights - an 11 hour flight to Houston - I swear Norway was quicker. We get in at 7:30 Houston time ... Friday morning. We leave our time today at 4:30pm.

All in all ... well ... the vacation was OK. That is the best I can summon up that is positive. I should be in better shape about it and I am actually a little sad we are leaving, but we did everything we set out to do - have driven every road there actually is on the island, taken a ton of photos. I just wish I had felt better, Ryan had wanted to be here and Gary had not had to try so hard to make the vacation great.

I will have to go home and see my photos on my large screen. I was definitely off my game when it came to photographing anything - so I am assuming ... crap - but Maui crap and that is pretty nice.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Road to Hana

Drove "The Road to Hana" today. I would say no deadly incidents occurred, but it is quite a treacherous road - a bazillion hairpin curves and over 50 one lane bridges so it had potential. Ryan got especially excited when Gary decided to drive it while shelling his own pistachio nuts. Somehow the kid thought maybe his hands and head should have been fully directed at paying attention to the road.

I took quite a few photos, but just went through them and I am not impressed - they are all crap. Displaying them on an old clunky laptop doesn't help, but still .... crap.

We were going to get up at 3:00am and watch the sunrise at the top of the mountain tomorrow, but when Gary came to bed - begged off for another day - which was fine by me. I am pooped. I think we will drive the loop around the little mountain tomorrow and just take it easy, see if we can all get some rest.

Try not to die ...

Nearly Died Yesterday ....

and Gary took photos.

Seriously, I'm drowning in the ocean: inhaling seawater, out of breath (my big problem right there - I cannot seem to get enough oxygen - on land, anywhere - I think the cold may be affecting my lungs) and in a semi-full-on panic and I look over and he is snapping my photo. I am pretty sure he was just trying to convince me to live to get to shore so that I could erase the pics or kill him, but I really don't know what the dude was thinking.

We went out snorkeling at Black Rock - a supposedly excellent place for spotting fishies (didn't find enough to justify my death) and had to swim out and around the, well, black rock. So we did. I was in trouble when I first hit the water and started swimming because I could not catch my breath and Gary said we should go back. Him being a life guard in another life should have told me something, but I was determined to have a freaking fun time on this trip - dammit! So we went out. I took a few photos then someone shouted 'turtle' and Gary said hand me the camera - so I did since I was not swimming over there. The trouble was I decided it was time to go in and no matter how hard I swam, that stupid rock stayed in the same place or worse: seemed to get farther and farther away ... I was being washed out to sea.

Gary finally yelled at me to come on not realizing that I was trying and I yelled back that I was trying. He swam over and by then had drank a mouthful of seawater and wanted to puke and probably looked a wee bit freaked. He finally said just put your head in the water and kick, and give me your hand. A not so few minutes later, he let go and we were around the rock and the waves were washing us towards shore - so I will admit right here since Gary does read this but does not have an account to rebut my stories in comments - we were out of danger of drifting out to sea. But then I was side-stroking my way in trying not to drink water and so out of breath when I see him snapping my picture! NOT funny.

I am still floundering around in the water when someone yelled 'Turtle!' ... and that was it - he abandoned me for a freaking turtle. I finally hit the sand - it felt wonderful except that my legs were rubber and now I had to schlep my body back to Ryan and the gear. When Ryan saw me coming he ran over and asked "What's wrong, where's Dad?" I replied "He stopped saving my life to go take pictures of a turtle". Poor kid - he deserves better parents. He got one really good shot. Had I brought the right equipment I would post it, but I didn't bring the right card reader to download any of our water proof photos. I will post "The Turtle That Was More Important Than Moms Life" when we get home. Oh yeah.

Until then - here is probably my favorite photo of the day. We had driven by this truck and I told Gary he was going to have to turn around because I would kick myself later if I didn't get a picture of the three dogs wearing sunglasses. The driver had actually pulled out and turned around but when he saw me jump out of the car with my camera - was kind enough to pull over and let me take a couple of shots. It pretty much sums up the life in Hawaii - kind people and dogs who can wear sunglasses ... and not care!

I love that I can see the driver smiling in the mirror!

And an obligatory 'Hawaiian' photo to finish off the sad saga of how little my life is worth:

Seriously, having fun and enjoying the trip and I think the anti-biotics are working - at least I am not getting any sicker. And Gary is currently unconscious and there are knives in the kitchen (we are staying in a condo) - so clearly he must be out of danger or I would have done something about it by now.

Later dudes ....

Aloha!

We made it! Do you know how freaking long it takes to get to Maui from Houston? We got up at 5:30am and our bags touched the condo floor at 1:30am Houston time. It was not a fun day. At one point during turbulence I turned to Ryan and said: "We're not going to die, that would be too enjoyable". But we are here. Dark and rainy when we got here, but WE ARE HERE.

Snapped a photo of some mountain in Washington State. Could be the famous one, but who knows.

I got up at about 3:00am Maui time (7:00 Houston time) because I was coughing and didn't want to wake Gary, and, well, it was 7:00 Houston time. Thought I would check out the Internet - so here I am rambling.

I don't think schlepping through airports and sitting on planes for hours on end does much for ones health, but I am just guessing.

Hopefully beautiful, sunny photos of Maui to come!

Still Out of Bed

Yeah, still out of bed ... note the time stamp. Between the sinus nasal drip and cough I decided it was best to surf the web rather than keep Gary up all night. But as Ryan says "It's all good". I will get rest ... well ... somewhere! Gotta be up in an hour anyway - early flight.

We have wi-fi in our condo, so y'all will probably be accosted with photos, except that the forecast is predicted rain for all the days we are there, so maybe not.

I am starting to think our trip is cursed!

I Got Out of Bed!

Note the time stamp. This is a big step for me....

Flowers

I leave for Maui in two days and I have come down with the mother of all headcolds. My head feels like its the size of a huge pumpkin, my eyes are watering, I've got that thrilling sinus headache and I am blowing my nose every 30 seconds.

To cheer me up, I decided to make a slide show on wildflowers.



(Taken March 2008)

Dear Jessie,

You have been at Richmond State School now for 3 months. That is a quarter of a year. I can’t believe it has been that long. Sometimes it feels like you have been gone forever and sometimes it feels like you have only been gone a few days.

You have adapted well and are learning new things, making friends, and the staff if falling in love with you. All these things that make me happy. This is what we wanted to happen and we are thrilled that it is happening.

You learned how to say “I love you” and I love to hear you say it. I enjoyed our drive home last Sunday when you decided to list those you love. You said: “I love Mom. I love Dad. I love Mrs. Randall.” I think you are starting to understand what love is and that is a big step for you. I am so excited to see the changes in you!

But the emptiness of the house still haunts me. I will get over it – I just don’t know when. I miss you. I miss you so much sometimes I feel like I am not going to make it through this transition. But then I remember that you are doing fine and that is what is important, not my feelings.

When you come home on Sundays, I see the change in you. You have new phrases, new skills, and always ask to go back to your friends. It’s all good. Mommy just needs to figure out how to live her life without you and she is not very good at adapting.

Sometimes you don’t look like you have really showered well, or dressed well and it makes me panic. Are they taking care of you? Should I call and demand more intervention with your toileting? What am I doing? I need to take care of you! But you are fine with it, so why am I so distressed about these things? Silly mommy.

I remember dreaming of the day you would be in a group home and I would be free. Free of the bathing, the dressing, the fighting and thought that life would be wonderful. A whole new life for me. Free to do anything I want. I got that life, but didn’t realize that there would be a hole in it – a yearning for your spirit and laughter and hugs. I miss them and don’t know how to fill up the hole in my heart. There is nothing that can replace those things and I know it. I just need to ‘soldier on’ and know that things will get better.

I am so glad that you are happy. That is the most important thing. So take care, sweetie and know that I am so proud of you.

Mommy loves you.

Logan Temple at Sunrise

Just 'cause I like the photo. (Taken April 2008)

Paris

In February 2005 Ryan and I went to Paris. We had a blast. I was going through the photos since I was bored reading up on Maui (I know, poor, poor, me) so thought I would make a slide show of a few of the photos:

The Kindness of Strangers

Jessie came home with us after church on Sunday. My mother had mailed her a package to our house and I was waiting for her to come to open it. She was very excited to find out she had a surprise at the house. When she opened it, we found a darling green and pink princess pillowcase and a very soft princess blanket made of fleece. My mother had taken the fleece and crocheted around the edge (I didn't even know she knew how to crochet) and the pillowcase was made by her friend Jacque. I know I have met Jacque, but I cannot remember what she looks like. I find her kindness overwhelming. That she would make something for someone she knows mainly from conversations with my mother is amazing to me. I am touched by her kindness and feel bad that I cannot put a face to the name.

Sunday was a weird day for me and I totally forgot to take photos of them. You know I had to be off because those are the kinds of photos I take and stick on my silly blog! Oh, well, if I get a chance I will take a picture of them at Jessie's place since she took them with her. She was very excited and it was fun to watch.

Thank you Mom and thank you Jacque ....

ADDENDUM:

Mom felt bad that I couldn't picture Jacque (sorry I got the spelling wrong - corrected it) so she sent a picture. Jacque is on the left, my mom on the right. And yes, I can remember her and picture her now!

Charlie is in HUGE Trouble

So ... Ryan went to his Subway Sandwich (where he works) and made us two foot long sandwiches. Six inch for me, six inch for Ryan and a twelve inch for Gary. I took mine and (of course) ate it by my computer. Ryan was cleaning the kitchen, doing his chores and walked in about 5 minutes after leaving the kitchen and asked me if I had taken his sandwich. I told him 'no'. As we looked in the kitchen, Charlie was looking very please with herself and all that was left was an empty wrapper on the island and two peppers on the floor:

I guess she does not like them. Oh yeah .... she's in trouble.

Internet Troubles

I hate when the internet goes down. It makes me realize how dependant I am on it. I got up and went to get on (late) and it was down. I wanted to:

- Check a book order and see if it was out for delivery
- Download a trial software package
- Check my mail
- Pay a bill
- Write in my blog
- Read others blogs
- Check the news for the day
- Search for a book on photographing Maui
- Check the forecast of weather in Maui
- Order a refill on a prescription at Walgreens
- Transfer all my financial transactions to Quicken
- Check the status of another book order (see if it had shipped)
- Check the status of 3 other miscellaneous orders

All I am left with is my palm software with a huge ‘To Do’ list. About 11 of the items are flashing red – indicating they are late. Do I start on them? No, I just keep checking to see if the internet is back up. Over and over again…..

On a bright note – got 5 hours of running errands done. For me – that is amazing.

On Being Grateful

My nephew Jeffrey is on a mission currently in Acapulco. Not in the prettiest parts of it either it sounds like. He writes home to his parents every week and my sister is kind enough to send the letters on for the family to read.

The other week he said something interesting. He says that they have a 'gratitude rock'. Every time they feel unhappy, they are supposed to take it out and think of 10 things they are grateful for. The thing is ... they cannot use the same thing twice - for the day. He says that they are finding they are grateful for many random things.

I thought this would be a good exercise for me since I seem to wander around all the time with the 'poor me, it's so quiet', 'poor me, I have to clean up for the cleaning lady', 'poor me, my closet is messy because I have to pack for Hawaii'. Yeah, I know I am spoiled. I do know that Gary and I have made wise choices in life and worked very hard for where we are ... but, yeah - spoiled.

So I decided that I would have to come up with 5 things (OK, I am lazy, and old - I might forget where I started) every time I was feeling down, was wallowing in self pity, etc. Also - I can't start over - EVER. So the regulars family, roof over my head, etc are long gone! It is amazing what you can come up with ... and truly be grateful for. There are things I come up with that I would have never even thought about had it not been for this little exercise.

The weirdest one so far? I am grateful for the severe pain I am in constantly - the joints, the muscles the constant headache - why? Because I would have never known the power of my brain to be able to block it out. And I am proud of the success after years of working on it to be able to do it. Not all the time, but when I am not stressed, not depressed - it does a fine job and I amazed at my ability to block out the pain and just ignore it and move on.

Try it - you will never know what you are truly grateful for until you do!

End of Germany Pics

Looking back, it looks like we only spent 4 days in Germany. It felt like more. I got a photo of Rothenburg ob der Tauber above the Tauber river by a very cool bridge. It was probably one of the last good photos I got (and it is not that great there was a fog).

As I mentioned we traveled the "Romantic Road" that went through a bunch of little medieval towns, but none were as cute as Rothenburg ob der Tauber. They all looked tired and just old. I didn't take many photos. I did take this one of a memorial to soldiers beside a tired looking church (looks like WW1):

We hit the autobahn and were just toodling along at 120kph (hey, when in Rome ... speed up or get out of the way) and drove past a huge building covered in blue and white signs. Ryan turned to me and said "Dude, did we just pass a Wal-Mart?" We immediately exited and drove around for awhile until we found it. We didn't know Wal-Marts existed in Europe. If we had driven by the Space Shuttle sitting on a launch pad - we would not have been more surprised.

We spoke with a manager and he said they were all over Germany and most of Europe. We told him that we were from Norway and he said that Norway had banned them from their country (good for them!) thus the reason we had not seen one. Norway had probably banned them since the state had strict control on what products came into the country to be sold. One thing we noticed about Norway (and spoiled us rotten) was that everything was top quality - the best of the best. It was expensive but that was all that was available so people made do with less, just very good 'stuff'.

My family would come over and buy weird things like potato peelers, kitchen utensils, etc since they were top quality and not the stuff the silver would peel off of in a few weeks. I am sure they could find it at home, they just seemed to buy the stuff in Norway since it was where I was shopping for groceries.

So ... no Wal-Mart. We went in and had a blast - we photographed toys and tried to read what they were telling us. Then Ryan modeled for me in their costume department. This was February, mind you - not October. We noticed this in Norway also. The stuff we would think of as Halloween costumes they had out all year. Don't know why. Norway did not have a Halloween but the teenage youth had started celebrating the U.S. holiday. I guess they were for dress up.

Well, like it or not, that was our trip to Germany. It was always fun to take Ryan some where just me and him. We always had a good time. There was always something that we were laughing about.

One thing I remember was after getting off the plane in Frankfurt, Germany we rented a car and started the long trip down to the Austrian border. Ryan was hungry and being a picky eater did not eat on the plane and was hungry. I told him the next city I came to I would stop and find him some food. As we were driving along in the dark with no civilization to be found anywhere he said "Look Mom, there is Ausgang" (a small sign on the road at the offramp) and I just passed it going "Uh, Huh". Later he said "There it is again". I said "Okaaaaaay...". Finally he said in frustration "Mom, take this one - Ausgang has to be a big city and I am hungry!". I turned to him and said "Ryan, 'Ausgang' is German for 'exit'.

The Price of Having Pets

Took Charlie to the vet today:

She decided that she would wait and crap on the floor in the vets room instead of outside where I had taken her. I cleaned it up and then refused to speak to her. When the vets assistant came in, she was thrilled to hear it. Apparently for the heartworm test, it would be taking more crap than they could collect and I would have been bringing a sample in tomorrow. Fun. Fun. Fun. I so look forward to it next time.

What I am wondering - when did it get so expensive to have a dog? Her bill was over $300.00 and all we did was the crap thing, get a shot and buy 6 months worth of heartworm and flea stuff. He says the old flea stuff the fleas were starting to get immune to it ... I don't know - do y'all have to take out a loan to take your dog to the vet? I'm just wondering.

Couldn't believe it - gave her a treat when we got home for crapping on a floor ...

Waiting for Daddy

It is Day 6 of Gary being gone and I have done pretty well. Ryan has not run away from home, I have not had a full blown panic attack, and on a scale of 1 - 10 of crazy, I'm just a 4. That's pretty good for me.

I had a dream about Jessie last night. Although I don't think Gary being in town has anything to do with my dreams. It is a recurring dream, with my memory taking an old family photo of me with my siblings and substituting in Jess for my little sister Jill. She is in the photo in a brown pony jumper and she has one hand covering an eye and the other hand held out to the photographer and she is crying. I have always thought it looked very sad. Before I had children I would dream of the picture and it would just be Jill. Don't know what it means. So now my brain stores the image and replaces Jill with Jessie. I know she wants something, I just don't know what.

Last night I seemed to know. She missed Daddy. She always misses Daddy because he is fun. She asked me when he is coming and I tell her soon. And then she is crying again. I remember being incredibly sad because I can't seem to help her or calm her down.

And then she was little again, happy and waiting for Daddy. Every day about when Gary was to drive in the driveway in his little grey truck, she would ask me to help her get on a stool so she could see over the bushes and then stand there at the window and wait for Daddy to come home. She would stand there for quite some time, with her braces on her legs, patiently waiting for that truck to drive past the window.

We pick her up every Sunday after church and bring her home. Every time I walk in and see her sitting there in a chair holding her travel slip in her hand so excited to go - it reminds me of her waiting for Daddy:

She will always be waiting for Daddy.

More Rothenburg ob der Tauber

I found a few more fun photos of Rothenburg ob der Tauber (yeah, I can't just type Rothenburg since there is a 'Rothenburg' and I am sure y'all would become confused). There was this one of Ryan outside the Torture Museum:

And we went to a cuckoo clock store. The photos are crap - photos were not allowed but I could not help myself! I was in GERMANY in a CUCKOO CLOCK store and Gary had drawn the line at me adopting one and bringing it home, so I had to settle for photos. OK it is wicked but sometimes you just need a photo ... like say of the Sistine Chapel ... and like my camera with no flash was going to do any damage. It was all about dollars at the gift shop than me having my very own photograph of the ceiling. (I will step down from my soap box now...). So ... I hid my camera and snapped away.

Ryan is pointing because some psycho decided it would be clever to have one of the clocks going off every 10 seconds. We were trying to identify which one was cuckoo'ing so I could get a photo of the dancing what'evers. We never did figure it out. We had fun, though.

Oh, and I read something in Wikipedia. Rothenburg ob der Tauber was used for some town in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. So ... apparently we were taking the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang tour. I will have to see if any of the other places are featured ...

Rothenburg ob der Taber

Ryan and I went to Germany for his spring break in 2006. We flew into Frankfurt since there were these cheap tickets on something called “Ryan Air” for $99.00. We then rented a car and drove on the autobahn down to Bavaria – on the border with Austria. That was where Neuschwanstein Castle was. I was excited to drive on the autobahn but then it got to be a pain. The fast lane went really fast and the slow lane went really slow. If you were in the fast lane and another car came upon you going faster, you were ‘obligated’ to move over to the slow lane to let them pass. If you did not, they brighted you, honked their horn and tailgated you (I always let them pass, but watched this from the slow lane) they were very aggressive about it. It generally worked. The problem came that when someone came swooping down on you and you were going 95 kph (about 60 mph) and you needed to get over – the slow lane was going about 50 kph and you would need to slam on your breaks to not hit them. So either you could go real slow, really, really fast or keep moving back and forth between the two lanes – it got old really fast – especially in the dark.

We went from Hohenschwangau, Germany to Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Germany (they were not really that big on short city names). We drove something called the ‘Romantic Road’ which was a medieval trade route containing quaint towns and very ‘German’ looking scenery. We traveled with Gary up by Berlin and it looked nothing like what you expect Germany to look like – just ugly – Communist looking stuff. Bavaria looks like ‘Germany’.

We stopped on our way in the town know as the birthplace of ‘The Brothers Grimm’. I purchased the complete works. I have a complete works of Hans Christian Anderson from Copenhagen, Denmark – his birthplace and wanted a set. Both are the original versions – not the Disney versions – thus fairy tales that scare the shit out of you.

We stayed in a hotel inside the city walls (it had an ancient wall surrounding it). It was really a room above a café and was very cute. I had to drive into the city on cobblestones and winding roads – we were lucky we a) found it and b) found parking. We parked the car and left it where it was until we left – the medieval part of the town inside the walls not being all that large.

Our hotel is the two upper left windows. Notice our diet cokes and water cooling out on the window ledge:

Two of their claims to fame was a very large (maybe the largest in Europe if I remember reading the signs) Christmas shop and a medieval torture museum. Photos were not allowed in the first and I won’t bother you with photos of the second (although it was interesting – in a creepy sort of way).

Rothenburg ob der Taber is supposed to be the best preserved medieval town in Germany and we can attest to that having driven through a bunch of others – they just looked like aging towns where Rothenburg ob der Taber looked like Disney World. It is a big tourist attraction, but in February was not that busy.

The theme today is apparently ‘Windows’. I love taking photos of windows (as my little “Windows of Prague” on the side there shows). I did not get many – but they were so ‘quaint’. The three of linens in the windows was to show Gary what I didn’t buy. I cannot go in a linen shop (in Europe) and not buy something. I regret it now having beautiful linens from everywhere I went except Germany.



I like taking pictures of people taking pictures. This is one of my favorites of Ryan:

Here are some shots of the city:

Neuschwanstein Castle

Since there was some interest in Neuschwanstein Castle I thought I would share. It is the inspiration of the Sleeping Beauty Castle in Disneyland Park and Cinderellas Castle at The Magic Kingdom. It was featured in the film "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang".

It was built by crazy Ludwig II of Bavaria. It was draining Bavaria's funds and his uncle had him declared insane then the uncle took over. Not long after that Ludwig and the doctor that declared him insane were mysteriously found dead, drowned in six inches of water.

The castle was only partially finished. Some rooms were never finished.

I always wanted to see it after spotting it for a split second in "The Great Escape". It's where Jim Rockford (OK James Garner) and the blind dude fly over it in the plane they stole to escape in. I thought it was the coolest castle I had ever seen.

The tour was cool - but photos taken inside were prohibited. Although they did let you take photos out of the windows. This is the photo I took of the Austrian Alps:

Ryan and I had a blast touring Bavaria, Germany. This was on Sunday and Monday. Maybe I can find some interesting photos from some of the other places we went. I am sure that is much more interesting than hearing about my cleaning lady!

Just For Fun

I didn't have very cool photos of Neuschwanstein Castle (referring to yesterdays post) - it was a really gloomy day and to get a really cool shot:

You need to be in a helicopter or be on a bridge that is quite a hike to get to. (That photo also looks as if it has a filter over the lens). So - Shelley - THAT is a really cool photo of Neuschwanstein Castle! I would give the photographer credit - but I found it on the web and they were not listed.

But I did have other shots of 'the castle'! These are from Lego Land in Denmark:

It was also a gloomy day, and winter - I will have to go back (to the real one) in the summer.


This is a famous line of very old shops on the harbor in Bergen, Norway:

This is their Norway section:


And a drunken photo of Nyhavn ('new harbor') in Copenhagen, Denmark:

It was fun to go. I thought it would be so lame and for 5 year olds. I ran out of batteries taking so many photos. It was fun to see all the places we had visited in Europe - in Lego - but more importantly: They were all miniature!!

Cleaning Lady

I love our cleaning lady. If I didn't think it would scare the crap out of her - I would give her a big hug.

When I came back to Houston, I started getting sick again. Generally heavy duty housecleaning would put me in bed. We heard of Alma from someone in the Ward, she does everything I don't care to do and costs about the price of a tank of gas (OK, Gary's truck tank and at the expensive gas prices - but it helps me justify it in my head). I have her come every other week.

It is my deep, dark secret. Just paint a big 'L' on my forehead - I am such a loser that I cannot clean my own house. So - big secret. Well, not now....

She usually comes on Tuesday, but this week - she is coming today (Wednesday). It is great that she does all the heavy duty stuff, but I love that it forces me to clean the house. The house has to be in order - everything put in its place, the kitchen clean, etc for her to actually do her stuff. So it forces me to clean up and having to do this every two weeks means nothing gets really out of control. OK, except my closet - I still have my cruise packing stuff strewn on the floor, but since I will be packing for Hawaii next week, I'm thinking - what's the point? So I just shut the door on my closet and she does not go in there.

I generally do the laundry and de-cluttering / organizational stuff while she is here since I feel I need to do something while she is scrubbing, dusting, mopping, vacuuming and polishing. This means one of my most vile chores - laundry - gets progressed. Bonne was surprised that I hated to do laundry. I am very OCD about my laundry - everything washed a particular way. My whites load is 3 hours and 15 minutes long: a sanitizing and whitening program. I bought a really cool front loading washer since I got spoiled using a front loading Miele washer in Norway. Her mistake was equating my love / obsession with clean clothes with doing the laundry - two very, very different things.

The super thing about cleaning day? When she walks out the door - regardless of the mood I have been in ... it becomes a great day and I am in a wonderful mood.

I love a clean, really clean house. Actually ... who doesn't?

'Cause Laura Invited Me To:

Laura invited anyone to complete a ‘tag’ – I have no idea what that is, but since I have nothing else to do right now, here are my answers:

4 Random things about my husband:
- He is a genius, but cannot spell
- He makes me laugh - one of the funniest people I know
- He speaks Chinese
- He is 6'3" to my 5'2"

4 Jobs I have had:
- College job – doing a bit of everything – Physics Laboratory
- Software Engineer for the Jet Propulsion Laboratory
- Small Systems Specialist for Morton Thiokol
- Software Analyst for Shell

4 Movies I have seen more than once:
- Sneakers – it makes me laugh
- Saving Private Ryan – it makes me cry
- Field of Dreams – it makes me feel good
- Alladin – it makes me nuts (but Jessie’s favorite)

4 TV Shows I watch:
- CSI (although they are getting stupid)
- Criminal Minds
- Dexter
- Eli Stone

4 (favorite) Places I’ve been: (and like to photograph):
- Church of Our Lady – Copenhagen, Denmark – Original Christus the LDS church reproduces and all 12 apostles:

- Paris, France:

- Neuschwanstein Castle, Hohenschwangau, Germany:

- Prague, Czech Republic:

4 Places I’ve lived:
- Los Angeles, California
- Logan, Utah
- Sugar Land, Texas
- Oslo, Norway

4 Places I would like to visit:
- Russia
- China (Thinking that Chinese would come in handy)
- Greece
- Switzerland

4 Favorite foods:
- New York style cheesecake
- Broccoli Cheese soup
- Steak with mushrooms and onions
- Chocolate Melting Cake with ice cream

Candles

I love candles ... all kinds.

For the longest time I stopped using them. After the tornado hit our house, I was not having a good week. I had re-broken my wrist carrying Jessie into an interior room of the house. The brick outside was covered in pink fiberglass insulation and it was getting tracked in and under my skin, the roof was still pouring water into my house even after it had been temporarily 'repaired' and the house stunk (wet fiberglass, wet plaster, I don't know what else). Couldn't do much with the other stuff, but I thought I could fix the stink. I had a small two piece pottery thing, with scented red wax in a bowl suspended above a tea light. I had never used it before - it was a gift from somewhere / someone. I lit it and set it on the ledge by the stairs. It was making the house smell lovely. A while later I walked out of my bedroom to find the banister on fire. The bowl with the melted hot wax had cracked, leaked red wax all over the ledge and was on fire. I was holding a big mug of diet coke and did the first thing that came to mind - pulled the lid off and threw it on the fire. It put the fire out, but exploded red wax all over me, the walls and the light grey carpet. I think I was more scared when I saw the fire than when I watched the tornado rip though our backyard. No more candles for me. Spent years getting that red wax all cleaned up.

Moved to Norway and candles were such a part of Norwegian life - I gave them another shot. Not really reasonable since we lived in a 100 year old home made entirely of wood - the walls, the floors, OK, except for the roof - it was a sod roof that grew grass and small flowers, but everything else: a tinderbox ready to go. I was careful, never left the house with anything except the wood burning stove lit (we used it for heat, so I kept it stoked until around 3:00 in the afternoon and that would carry us over till the next morning). Even being that careful - because it was a bunch of dry wood just waiting to catch fire, for some reason every time I returned to the house and drove in the entry and could see it, I was mildly surprised it was not a smoking pile of rubble.

When I came back I found something that gave me the fragrance without the flame, a Fragrance Lamp - I like to use these because it will fill a large space with fragrance unlike a small candle.

But sometimes I miss the soft flickering light of candles. Especially on dark winter days and days like today where it is just plain gloomy. I can light a jar candle and put it on a stone coaster on my desk and it cheers me right up.

I'm not completely stupid - I have never used those ceramic contraptions again. I don't know if I have even seen them sold anymore ... I wonder why?

Gary's headed to Australia today ...

Probably won't ask him to bring me anything. Last time he was there he brought me what he called a 'seamless leather bag' key chain (I collect key chains):

If the packaging does not give it away - the tag on the back of the package surely will:
Yeah...

Hummingbird's

I thought I would post something more pleasant today. No swarming babies, just hummingbird's.

After taking a few photos of hummingbird's resting on the feeder perch, my father - an excellent photographer - said it was easy to get good shots of hummingbird's at rest. The trick, he said, was getting a good shot of a hummingbird in flight. The icing on the cake, for me was getting a shot of a hummingbird in flight just as the sun was rising.

Picked hummingbird's to post because I remembered something. I wanted to get photos of the sunrise, so I rose before anyone else one morning and waited on the deck (extended family vacation in June 2008, Bear Lake, ID). It was quiet. A good quiet. A peaceful quiet. A quiet that as the sun rose, soaked into my bones. I need to remember that. Quiet won't always be so unsettling. I just need to wait for it, look for it - I'll get there.

The Flotsam in my Head

Have had a sculpture floating around in my head all day today. Don’t have a clue as to why. It resides in Vigeland Park (Oslo, Norway) along with 211 others. Gustav Vigeland created them all, and most are normal or as Wikipedia puts it “statues (that) depict people engaging in various typically human pursuits”. This one isn’t one of those. Wiki labels it “abstract” and titles it: “Man Attacked by Babies”:

If anything, today I am the antithesis of this. Gary is heading off to play boat games with the scouts overnight, Ryan is out with friends until late - so I am alone. So why baby tossing is scrolling through my brain is beyond me. Just in case you are concerned / wondering - the babies all look as if they are thoroughly enjoying whatever it is they are doing....

This 'alone' thing takes some getting used to. Thought that if I cranked up the volume of my music things would not be so quiet. Jessie's finger phone calls, conversations with Ryan, Gary's laughter - they sink deep into the bone. Music ... just bounces off the surface. It's just noise.

But ... it will have to do for tonight!

Creepy Crawlies

A FULL eight hours after our 'Girls Night Out' discussion (you might want to refer to Laura's post for a heads up) I am still creeped out. Don't know why I'm up - didn't go to bed until 2:30, but I hear something from my entry 'garden':

Generally I equate the sound with a leaf falling from one of the trees and hitting the tile. But this morning? In the dark? It's a mouse, or a bird, or a snake. Could be a really loud huge mama spider carrying a bazillion babies on her back. A bat maybe? They make noise, right? It didn't sound ghost'ish to me, but maybe a squirrel, if it was holding sort of still. I wonder if Courtney is up - she's the 'go to' girl if you need to rid your home of some varmint. I sit frozen in my chair, staring at the greenery - waiting for whatever is going to crawl / slither / fly out at me.

Thank heavens it doesn't have that noxious monkey smell ...

Ryan Revisited

You know that part where I say "he's not one to say things like this?" ... yeah. It seemed out of character - so either he was running away ... again ..., did something horrible or someone was playing with his phone. I asked him about it when he got home - it was the latter! He says it goes without saying.

Everything I wrote about him still stands.

Dollhouse

I miss my dollhouse. Well … not mine exactly – Jessie’s. At least that is what I told myself when I bought it. I love miniatures. Don’t know why, just do – so dollhouses – yeah, I like them.

This Playmobil dollhouse we kept on a small table in the kitchen downstairs in our house in Sugar Land. Come to find out – Jessie is not all that interested in dollhouses. So I set it up and there it sat except on a rare occasion when Jessie would play with it. Jessie’s ‘playing with it’ basically involved making it look like either an earthquake had hit, or Ryan’s room.

Back then were the years that I was sick – really sick. In the hospital from dehydration sick or giving myself IV antibiotics for Lyme Disease sick. Housekeeping was not in the top ten things I wanted to do or could do during that time, but my OCD caused me to go nuts that the house was not clean. So I came up with a truce – I would keep the dollhouse clean. On a really bad day, if that was all I could do – it was enough. Looking back, I think I needed something that I could control and keep in order when everything else was spiraling out of control.

It also had its perks: Someone calls, asks what I am doing: ‘Cleaning the house’. Someone calls to ask me to do something I don’t want to do: ‘Sorry, I have to clean the house’. It was an inside joke between me and Ryan. Every now and then I would tell Ryan to clean the house. And he would. That is better than when I asked him to clean his room.

Since it had been in the kitchen in Sugar Land, I put it in the kitchen in Norway. I was healthier in Norway, so the house cleaning part was not needed all that much, but not to waste a good toy – Ryan and I would set up ‘still life’s’.

I like reading murder mysteries so it was not uncommon to see that the maid had taken an axe to the missus, or a Lizzie Borden recreation. We have a crate full of weapons – thanks to the cowboy and Indian stagecoach set. One Christmas was especially stressful and Santa sort of lost it. He was on the roof with a shotgun and a revolver.

It was always fun to walk by and see what Ryan had set up – it was not always murder and mayhem, but we had the hatchets, knives and guns so … why not? Just wish we had some itty bitty crime scene tape.


We did not put the dollhouse in our kitchen here, it is up in my craft room. No one ever just happens to walk by my craft room, so not as much fun. Although I had not taken down deranged Santa and my sister Marci, and her partner Patti, were visiting. I was using the craft room as a guest room back then and Patti very calmly asked in her calm doctor voice: “Lori, why is Santa holding a shotgun and pointing a revolver at Ruldolph?” Ooops, I had forgotten. Told her that Santa had been a wee bit stressed at Christmas. She seemed fine with that. At least, she was not recommending therapy or writing me out any prescriptions because of it….

So … I miss it. No husband flirting with the maid (and then the aftermath - jealous wife). No Nanny pulling a gun on the kids (Ryan did that, not me), No decorating for Christmas (the CUTEST little pine tree), no ‘whodunit’s’, no chalk outlines, no deranged Santa, no invasion of Indians, no horses in the house …. sigh.


Guess I will have to grow up after all….