That is SO NOT a Girls Name ....

If any of you have seen my Facebook 'antics' over the weekend this will make sense. Since my parents do not follow Facebook I am going to add the post here for them to understand what I am talking about:

~~~~~~~

Verbatim text between my husband and me - he was at a Church meeting,

I was ... SURPRISE!!!   In bed reading.

Oh, and if you have read my blog post (Because ... Seriously?  How Hard Could it Be?) - I had to charge and turn on my phone so that I could warn Jessie's Weekend Aide that while ONLY LAST WEEK I promised her that with the new Church schedule WE WOULD ALWAYS BE PICKING HER UP AT 4:15 ... except for tomorrow when church gets out at 12:00 - I will send Gary since I am afraid she will hurt me if I go ...

Soooo when I turned my phone on there was a text from Gary:

Gary: You up for going out to dinner or a movie tonight?

Lori: OK ... Ummmm but don't read my blog. And I just ate a hot dog but I am pretty sure I am going to hork it up soon ...

Gary: Hork it up? Please show me anyone else that has used that phrase. I am sure even google doesn't know what that means.

Lori: I'm just very imaginative and creative. Pretty much dogs hork up socks and stuff ... where have you been living?

Lori: HAH!!! On Wikipedia AND Urban Dictionary and yes - one of the six definitions was to vomit. I ROCK words Dude ... you should never take me on .... just sayin'

Gary: Always good to learn another way to say vomit

Lori: Barf, Gag, Heave, Hurl, Puke, Retch, Spew, Up Chuck ... shall I continue?

 

~~~~~~~

That was Saturday and Sunday morning I realized something ... by the way - this was ALL before my 'Ebola-Fate-Conference-Palsy' incidents ...

I realized that I had not included the term 'Ralph' - a TOTALLY valid term of vomiting, but also a common male name.

 

 Then 'Dick' flashed in my head and while also a common male name, when I use it, Gary generally calls me a 'Potty Mouth' AND FOR GOOD REASON.

 

So sitting in the bedroom I tried to come up with some more ... but could not.

I then started thinking it was weird that I could not think of a single female name that was also used as a disgusting and / or derogatory term.

The following is the conversation I then had with Gary - I did not take notes so I am paraphrasing - but since it was so ... weird - it is pretty darn accurate:

Lori - to Gary: I think it is weird that I can come up with Ralph and Dick that are common male names that are also used as disgusting or derogatory terms but I can't come up with a female name.

Gary:

Lori:  Seriously - give me a female name that fits this bill.

Gary: Bulimia.

Lori: What!?!  Bulimia IS SO NOT A GIRLS NAME.

Gary: Yes it is. Listen: 

Bulimia come on downstairs for dinner!

Oh, wait that is not a good one, 

Bulimia go do your homework. 

Bulimia can you mow the lawn? 

Bulimia clean up your room ...

 

Lori: You have a problem dude ...

Gary: (now laughing)

Bulimia do what your mother says! 

Bulimia ....

 

at this point I leave the room shaking my head and thinking that my husband is a seriously deranged person.

 

~~~~~~

 

THEN the 'Ebola-Fate-Conference-Palsy' thing occurs

 

Refer to Buckets and Buckets of AWESOME if you are confused right now ...

(you can just click on that there title and it will wisk you away to it ...)

 

~~~~~~

 

Later, while making dinner I told him I thought that he was a seriously deranged person then said:

 

Lori: WHO comes up with the name Bulimia for a girl?

 

Gary: You wanted a girls name that meant vomit - I thought it was appropriate.

 

Lori: NO I DID NOT! 
Were you even listening to what I was saying right before I asked you that question?

 

Gary: Well ... actually .... no.

 

Lori: *sigh* Of course YOU WEREN'T. 

I SAID give me a girls name that also meant something disgusting and / or offensive.

 

Gary: Well, Bulimia still works in that scenario ...

 

Lori: SHUT UP ....

~~~~~~~ 

 

I Googled "female names that are also used as an offensive term"

 

It came back and told me to stop messing around and get some real work done ...

 

Soooo it still stands - can YOU think of a female name that is also used as a disgusting or offensive term?  I am sorta stuck on this and at the moment feel that females are being shafted when it comes to using your name to totally upset someone ...

 

Maybe I should start a campaign that 'lori' while in a different spelling totally means 'truck' in England I would like to be known for barfing - it IS my legacy ...

 

So:

 

"I so LORIED last night after dinner."

 

"I feel like I am going to lori any minute."

 

"Just looking at that wants me to lori."

 

Yes?

 

No?

 

We did last night come up with a TON of wonderfully, disgustingly funny comments using the words:

 

Horking

Horkable

Horkalicious

 

You SO don't want to know what they were ...

 

 

Let me know if you know a girls name that fits this ...

 

I am having a

Girls-Name-Used-Offensively

block since I am SURE there are some ...

 

And if there are none, well
WE JUST NEED TO FIX THAT,
don't we?