Ha Det Bra!!

( 'ha deh bra' - Goodbye in Norwegian)

Carnival Conquest - my home for the next 8 days

Bye, y'all. I'm headed to the Carribean. Will blog if I can. I sent daily e-mails home of my adventures on my last cruise with Bonne (I was blogging before I was blogging and didn't even know it) and discovered that the internet reception can be tricky. If I get reception, I will post something, if not, well y'all probably don't care!

I'm outta here....

It Fits!!!

Thanks to a very large collapsible suitcase - that I cannot lift - I will be able to clothe myself on the cruise - no worries!!


Bonne will be ever so happy....

Going on a Cruise:

Snorkeling equipment: fins, mask, snorkel, booties .... check
Sunscreen, backpack for day excursions ... check
Laptop with wifi and external drive and other accessories ... check
10.1 megapixel digital SLR camera and charger ... check
7.1 megapixel small camera and charger ... check
7.1 megapixel waterproof camera and charger ... check
Photo card reader and other misc electronics ... check
Camera and laptopt backpack ... check
Ipod and charger ... check
Palm with charger ... check

Clothes, toiletries .... um, I'm outta space

Crap ... It's not gonna all fit .... Guess I will be wearing the same outfit every day

Dueling Cameras

"Shootout" in Prague:

Just 'cause I like the photo.

Scoutmaster's Wife

Campouts. Not my style anymore - too much dirt, too many bugs, too many hard surfaces and too little soft.

This is one job that seems to ooze over into everyone in the house at the time. The packing, the shopping for food, getting the trailer, packing the trailer, filling up the water jugs, the phone calls, last minute cancellations, last minute boy additions, food redo's. I don't know how he does it all.

I am just glad I am only the wife ... and thankful he has finally pulled out of the driveway...

Confessions of a recovering Addict

Living in Norway changed some of my habits. We had two TV's connected to a satellite dish - although I never got one working and the TV repairman was so vicious about Americans, I was sort of relieved that he just put me off for an entire year and a half. One was enough. I quickly discovered that if it did not have some bizarre show about naked people covered in snails - all in Swedish, it was a European news channel which always made me cringe. Never very complimentary to those 'across the puddle'.

When Jessie was about 1 year old I realized I was achingly lonely, scared and had absolutely no one. Did I reach out to people for support, try to find friends, join a support group for handicapped children? No. I turned on the TV. PBS, I realized was good enough. Or the Today show in the morning - people were talking and the house was not so quiet. It stayed on until it was turned off to be packed up and shipped to Norway approximately 15 years later. And when I say 'it' we had 5 TV's which sometimes all were playing on the same channel so I could move from room to room and I could have my comforting background noise.

So, being a Today show junkie, I was going through news withdrawals when I was in Norway and very dissatisfied with what was on TV, started in on the Internet with gusto. I would search all the news web sites and large newspaper sites just to feel connected to the US. I found all sorts of web sites that I enjoyed reading and soon, my whole day could be consumed in Wikipedia reading about the Romanov's, or Queen Victoria, or Norwegian history. I loved that most every other word was colored - labeling it a link to itself. If the subject of the 100 Years' War came up in some article I was reading, I would click on it and read about it, and then click on something else I was interested in until I was nested so deep I couldn't remember the subject I had decided to 'research' that day. Wiki is my friend and will always be my friend. True it is written by people like you and me, but monitored closely for content and a study showed it as accurate as the Enclycopedia Britannica - but I really don't know how that would be verified.

Another web site I would visit daily - with Ryan is Cuteoverload.com. A blog about a collection of video snippets and photos of disgustingly cute and adorable animals. After he came home we would browse the new entries and say 'awwwww' a lot. I still visit it today.

I found a woman I really love to read (except for now because she has written some political stuff and I don't like talking politics - whether I agree with her or not - it is just not as fun to read). She is an inactive Mormon living in SLC with her husband and daughter. She suffers from depression and has been very open about it. Dooce.com is irreverent, foul mouthed (sometimes) but I would kill to be able to write like she does and I enjoy the letters she writes her daughter, the conversations she has with her daughter and husband, and I am in love with her photography - especially the 'daily Chuck' photo which more often than not - has him (her dog) balancing something on his head.

When I read somewhere that she was up for a 'webby award' for best blog - I went over to read it. In her 'about me' she discusses her lapse in faith and I felt I needed to read her entire blog just to give her a chance. It is years, and years long - but I read it all and became addicted to her beautiful writing (minus the really bad potty mouth parts) and photos. I was especially impressed after the birth of her daughter, she had to be committed for a while for post-partum depression and she would hand write her blog and her husband would type them in for her. I still visit her blog daily - if not only to see what Chuck is balancing on his head today.

Funny - many people have told me that my blog is very personal - I don't feel it is. I have never mentioned what I am (really) struggling with in my day to day life. What my family is going through, any personal information on Gary or Ryan - so I felt like I had my 'blogging boundaries' well defined. But telling you what I read daily - makes me feel exposed! I guess it is the Jessie part which seems personal, but so much of that is in the public and I wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to Jessie - I feel all that emotion is already out there and does not count. What I surf on my computer ... well - that is another story!

My son comes down from his room every now and again to show me funnies on Failblog.org which is a collection of incredibly stupid signs, headlines, video snippets - again some crude - but after you have surfed Norwegian TV and found the snail people - nothing seems to faze me.

So there it is - you addicts (you know who you are) ... you are not alone! I have kicked my TV habit - it is never on, but the internet is another story. I am not proud of the fact that I visit sites that might have a bad word or two - but I am a very liberal person (if you don't know that about me - I hope we can still be friends) and have had friends and acquaintances from all walks of life and I have decided that the joy I get from reading a letter from a mother to her daughter at dooce - is worth the few nasty bits. Same for the other sites that I just tend to find funny - bad, bad, me. I am just telling you this since you might have noticed that everything I just referred to has a link to it. You have been warned.

To end my sermon on 'The Wickedness of Me' I will point out that you cannot go wrong with Cuteoverload.com it is relatively safe - if you don't mind that October is 'Toctober' and shows adorable bunny butts and puppy rear ends. The funniest thing that has happened to me this week - involving my crazy dog Charlie - occurred because of Cute Overload.

We got Charlie in Norway - as a puppy. She is 3/4 'mellom' (medium) Schnauzer and 1/4 Gordon Setter, and as nutty as a fruitcake. She has the personality of 10 dogs and makes me laugh often. While in Norway, Jessie was attending a Norwegian school (wait, I will get there, just go with me) since the English speaking school did not have a special education department - yeah, disgusting, I know. So ... I learned Norwegian. I was not very good at it, but I tried and to this day still speak to Charlie in Norwegian - 'cause you want your little ones to remember there roots, right? So .... I was on cute overload and there was a cat on a pony snorgling (their word - snuggling plus ... I have no clue) - normal stuff for their website. It was a video and had a song playing. I realized quickly that it was Swedish since it is similar to Norwegian and I could understand about a third the words. All of a sudden, Charlie comes over to the desk and just sits for a second looking at my speakers with her head cocked and then starts going nuts - running in circles, jumping straight in the air - I think a dogs version of dancing. I don't know, but she seemed to really groove to the song - it made me laugh. I tell you this because, although you won't understand the song - I bet it will make you laugh too: MiniSwedishChef. And right now - I need all the laughs I can get.

Charlie's Been Shopping

Haven't seen Barney for a while. I don't know if he wandered off and got lost, Charlie's hiding him or if he died. I think I would know about the latter since there would be Barney bits all over, but I guess only if Charlie killed him and he didn't die of whatever makes dinosaurs die.

Anyhooo, Charlie has a brand new bunch of friends. Last week, I got some toys out of Jessie's room to take to a friends house and left the detritus on the bed. There were 6 small stuffed animals left: Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Cookie Monster, 2 Simbas and 1 Nala (both the latter from the movie 'Lion King'). The other day I saw that Big Bird had somehow learned to fly and had landed on the entry carpet. Cool.

I became suspicious when Oscar the Grouch was in the family room just lounging on a couch - in his garbage can. I can't even find Cookie Monster although I have not checked the pantry....

Charlie decided to come clean today and bring Oscar downstairs. So she has been shopping in Jessie's room. Again. A great sport of hers. She usually stays away from the stuffed animals though - maybe Barney was enough.

The really weird thing is she is tight with the Sesame Street gang, but left all the Lion King animals alone:
Maybe because they are cats ... ?

Gary's Baby has a Baby

Gary sent me this photo the other day of a miniature of 'his' GBS. Since I am a miniature house nut - I decided we needed one of these for our living room (he said 'no'). What a cool job - building offshore oil structures in miniature:

Just talked to Gary -

#1) This is not a toy (yeah, right)

#2) It cost about 1000 times more to build than a minature house (just an EXPENSIVE toy)

Added for clarification: Gary discussed the exactness of the models replica and I decided that:

#3) I would not have the patience (true) ...

It was worth a shot....

She Said It!!!

Typical goodnights before Jessie left:

Tuck her in bed. Hand her her bo bo.

Mom: Good night Jessie. Mommy loves you.

Jessie: I like you.

Typical good bye at Richmond State School:

Mom: Bye Baby. Mommy loves you.

Jessie: I like you mom.

Theresa, an aide asked me about this. I told her that Jessie had never used the word 'love'. My theory was she understood 'like' and was comfortable with it. I told her it was fine, we understood each other perfectly.

Phone call I recieved from Jessie today:

Mom: Hello?
Jessie: Hi Mom.
Mom: Hi Jess! I was thinking about you!
Jessie: Mom?
Mom: What baby?
Jessie: Wheres daddy?
Mom: At work.
.
.
.
Jessie: Mom?
Mom: What sweetie?

Jessie: I love mom.

Mom: JESSIE. YOU SAID IT! Oh my gosh I LOVE YOU TOO! Thank you baby.

.
.
.

Theresa and Stacy said they have been working on it for days. She told me she loved me three times.

And I thought I didn't have anything to say today.....

Dear Jessie,

Yesterday was the two month mark for you at Richmond State School. Things have not changed around here or there much in the last month, things are about pretty much the same. Except for that letter that said you had not been in school a bunch, I haven’t even had many meltdowns … really. Puppies are safe today. Got a call from Angie and she explained all your absences – all Dr.’s appointments with their doctors or hurricane evacuations. No explanation on why no excuses to school, but still … puppies are safe today. Maybe you can’t get the notes to school because of no backpack? You keep asking for a backpack every week and I keep forgetting to send one back with you. You went with one and I am unsure if you want one or need one.

When I realized today that I had not sent a backpack with you on Sunday, I sat down and cried. Why? I am not sure, but all I could say was “I miss her” over and over. And I do … I miss you so much. I thought I would be more scared for your safety / well being than miss you. But, man – my music is rattling the windows and I can’t fix the quiet. I can’t fix the empty. You were such a big presence in our home – now it is just a big empty house. I will get over my ‘mood’, but now I know that it will always come back … sometime. With time, I am sure I will be ready for them.

I bump into ghosts all day. Memories of you and things you did that make me smile. How come I could not see those when you were here? It was all the bathing, feeding, and cleaning up after – how come I didn’t see past that more often and just watch you …. be you? I wish I could go back and just enjoy you more. Enjoy your enthusiasm, your joy, your conversations with your finger phone and imaginary friends, your belly laughs. So now I do – call me crazy – it’s done so often, but right now you are sitting on the couch in the living room talking to daddy on your finger phone telling him about Glen, laughing and asking him all sorts of questions. You make me smile.

Mommy has noticed her days getting bigger and bigger and needs to figure out what she is going to do. Lately she has filled it with writing silly things like ‘Discourses on Usefulness’, but that can’t go on forever. Like Andy Dufresne says in “Shawshank Redemption” I need to ‘get busy living or get busy dying’ and I am much too young for the later! I will figure it out – I just forgot how long 24 hours is in ‘Jessie free’ time.

Mommy is not going to see you for a few weeks. She is headed off for a much needed vacation with a dear friend. I will think about you, maybe I will lose this funk that seems to cloud over my days lately. Maybe I can get you a backpack in Jamaica! That would be fun. I’m on it.

Take care baby girl. If you don’t call me this afternoon, know that I will be calling you.

Mommy loves you.

Blog Block

Put a tracker on my blog for fun one day and got quite a surprise. To my amazement, there are many people who read / visit it daily. Since my family had given up on me except my mom and dad and Cherri, I assumed it was sort of a demented journal. I have also received compliments on my writing so I know many of those near me that read it, but there are those in Dallas, and Virginia, Pennsylvania, Minnesota and Nevada - whom I don’t know and am at quite a loss for words.

Literally. At a loss for words. I call it ‘blog block’. All of a sudden I feel I need to produce something and since everything I write – to me – is a load of crap, I am stuck. All of a sudden a blog from a friend named Liz comes to mind where she started a blog then was all ‘what should I write about, should I take pictures, is it worth this?’. For me – writing is therapeutic and if I wanted it private – I would have password protected it a long time ago – so you are all welcome into my own little crazy world!

But some days things just don’t come out of my fingers. Most days I sit at the computer and tell myself it is like an English class for college (I loved college, so when I say that, I mean just for fun!). Write a paper – quick! Pick a subject – now …. go! And I just type something – but now …. blog block. I will work on it.

Discourse on Usefulness

Before Jessie left to live at Richmond State School – my life was very defined for me. I bathed her, helped her with her toileting, dressed her, fed her, kept her out of the food, did laundry, cleaned the house, cleaned up hundreds of Jessie bloody noses …. You know the usual ‘mom’ stuff. Now that she is gone: things just stay clean (not a drop of blood in 2 months!!), laundry loads are about 1/3 the size, I run the dishwasher every 2nd or 3rd day, we can’t get through a loaf of bread without it going bad, we need about half the milk – it’s like a small family moved out.

Each morning, Gary got up at 5:00 and got Ryan up. My alarm went off a few minutes before 6:00 and I made Ryan leave if he was still ‘napping’, then got Jessie ready for school, fed and on the bus. Then the other parts of the day started until she was back at 2:15.

Now that I can sleep in, I can’t stay in bed past 7:00 – it just seems wrong and I can’t sleep anyway. The house is clean, the laundry has been done, half full dishwasher, there is food in the fridge … rotting. And I sit and wonder what I want to be now that I have grown up … professional blogger is apparently out, so … what? It is weird to feel …. useless.

Go back to work? No, last time I did that I got very ill and had to quit (that CFIDS and the gift of arthritis I got when I had Lyme Disease). And the part of my brain that contained the Computer Science degree and Math minor was apparently written over with parrot conversations, imaginary pets, conversations with the dog and the names of all Jessie’s dolls and stuffed animals, so I pretty much qualify to be a Wal-Mart greeter.

Sigh, I will figure it out. Later. Gotta pack for a cruise in 5 days….

Busy … Gotta go…..

Doctors orders

Took Ryan to the doctor yesterday for insomnia. I had calmed down about the letter insinuating I was a criminal and didn’t kick a single puppy (thanks for the offer for untraceable ones Jen). We checked in on time at 3;15, sat down, watched about 10 – 15 other people check in and get called in. The puppy kicking urge was roiling up again about 4:15 when Ryan was finally called. I waited in the waiting room – empty. About 45 minutes later he texted me and asked how long he had to wait. I texted him back and said I had seen most everyone come back out so he should be soon ... or we were apparently sleeping there.

I was wondering what the doctor would order – he inherited his insomnia from me and after trying everything and then some, I just gave up, calmed down, decided that just lying there awake all night was good enough some nights – it has not killed me yet. If I don’t want to stay in bed, I always have my computer….

He finally appears with orders to drink a cup of chamomile tea every evening. Having said previously that I have tried everything – I knew exactly what he was getting into. I don't get herbal tea - it tastes awful - I would rather surf on my computer all night than drink a cup. It explains the vile taste of British food to me though...

We went to the store, bought it, and at 8:30 Ryan declares that it is time and makes it up. It says (if you click on the picture you could read it) on the back of the bag: "As soothing as a field of daisies" - what they don't tell you is that only works if you 'eat' the field of daisies....

Ryan was encouraged by the words and impressed so I didn't share my thoughts - didn't want to influence him (OK or warn him - I wanted to see his face when he drank it ... bad, bad mommy).


He sipped a bit made a face (see above) and declared it too hot and that it 'needed something'.

We wanted to get our nightly scripture reading done and he was dawdling. He finally said: “You need to wait for me to finish breaking the Word of Wisdom before we can start.” So we waited, and waited. He finally came in and said that it was the most vile thing he had ever put in his mouth (and that was after honey, sugar, cinnamon and I am not sure what else). Don’t think it is going to work out for him.

After thinking about if for a bit, he muttered “That stuff is undrinkable. You would think that Satan would have tried harder…”

(Permission from Ryan to blog this)

Hide Your Puppies!!!

Well, back to wanting to kick puppies ... again. I am not proud of it, but there it is. Checked off three items on my To Do list and rewarded myself by getting a Sonic Diet Coke with cherry and lime. Of course I drove - would have actually accomplished one more thing on my To Do list had I walked in this beautiful weather. While I was out, might as well be lazier and pick up the mail I failed to pick up Saturday ... since I was so busy doing nothing.

There is nothing that can pull you out of a funk like wanting to kick some ass. Got a letter from Jessie's High School saying that she had incurred 4 unexcused absences and I was in violation of the "Compulsory Attendance law, Section 25.085, Texas Education Code" which is punishable up to $200.00 each day absent. Just so you know - never been sent this letter - even when Ryan runs away from home and skips school - I am smart enough to send some lame ass excuse to the school ... man, how stupid are people that there has to be a letter and law like this?

Well, ain't that nice. Tells me to 'immediately' call the attendance office to speak with them - criminal that I am now. So I have been calling for 2 hours just to get voice mail. Of course they are not the one's that I am going to boot in the butt. Tried to call Angie - the social worker at Richmond State School to find out what was going on without the dates Jessie was absent, but ... of course, voice mail. I did not trust myself to leave a calm, reasonable message, so now I am just looking for puppies to kick. Charlie is no where to be found.

Frustrating when I have no control over this situation, and Jessie loves school, so I really want an explanation. Hope it does not make me want to drown kitties.....

Apparently being depressed and mad as hell at the same time brings out the 'potty mouth' in me ... sorry.

Depression

I have ups and downs when it comes to depression. I am sure reading my blog this is apparent to a reader more than it is to me. One day I am fine, the next thing you know, I am walking through a parking lot to a Chinese restaurant with my husband, and suddenly ominous black clouds come rolling in. And in that minute, I know a storms a comin’.

Years ago I swore off anti-depressant pills – they make me someone that I am not. I realized this one horrifying day back when I was throwing up from Lyme Disease medication and had to go off all my meds. A few days later Gary said “You’re back”. I will never forget the realization that, yes, I was me again, where had I been and how long had I been gone?

The trick, I have decided, is getting rid of the clouds and finding the sun again.

I have yet to figure out how….

Friendship

Gave a talk in our new ward a couple of years ago when we first moved in. A talk I didn’t want to give – too personal, too much information people in the ward didn’t need to know – but felt I needed to give it anyway. After church a woman with flaming red hair stopped me in the hall and said “I am going to make you my new best friend”. I was a little stunned and since I blurt out everything that comes to mind without censoring it – I said “Good luck with that, I have not had a friend since high school”. She looked at me with a bit of skepticism. I said “I don’t think I even know how to be a friend anymore”. And that was the day I met Bonne. We started going out to lunch every week after that and discovered that we both liked to speak our mind and had much in common.

Soon, we strong armed Linda into going to lunch with us and we were a merry band of three.

I truly somewhere along the way had forgotten what it was like to have friends. I was used to being home with a handicapped daughter and in the beginning – spending much of that time in hospitals, doctor’s offices and at physical, speech and occupational therapies. There was truly no time for friends and then, I just lost the ability to make them.

Had it not been for a strong willed beautiful red head forcing me out of my house, I would still not know what it was like to have the support of others. We went on a cruise in February, with Linda praying things would go well for us. So – of course things were perfect. We leave on Sunday for another cruise and I am looking forward to it. Bonne is now in another ward and we don’t make it to lunch every week, but she still makes her ‘fly-by’ calls when she is in the car and we keep up with one another. Linda reads my blog almost daily (such a brave thing) just to get a feel for how I am doing before she calls to say hello and is there anything she can do for me.

Linda and Bonne – I have laughed and cried with each so much. They have taught me what a true friend is, and although I am not there yet, I am working on it.

How did I ever live without them?

My Son

Who loves me even though he knows I'm nuts ....

(Photo by Gary Hurst - all others by Lori Hurst)

Portent of Things to Come ....

Was out with Gary last evening to buy a fire pit for the scouts then to eat at a Chinese restaurant. As we were walking through the parking lot, a cool breeze past by, lifting my hair and smelling of trees and grass. It took me back three years to October in Oslo, Norway – a month filled with the promise of things to come.

And suddenly I was back in Texas, and disappointed….

I went to Norway with my family at a time that I was not really stable. I had been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) years before and was still dealing with the panic attacks and depression much more than I should have been. I was not losing chunks of time – which was what initially gave me a clue that my brain was not functioning normally in the first place. In Norway, I was unable to work even if I had wanted to since I did not possess a work visa. I loved Monday mornings when Gary headed to work, Ryan & Jessie were off to school and all of a sudden, the 100 year old house and the 2 ½ acres it sat upon were mine – all mine. It oozed peace and I soaked it up every day – until that last day, as the sun was setting, we said goodbye to an empty house and headed back to our hotel, for our flight to the US in the morning.

I came back in much better shape than I had been before. I can go to the cemetery and sit by Rachael's marker and not feel loss, she isn’t there, and I am OK. I can see a funnel cloud and I am not back in the middle of the tornado that hit our house. It makes me nervous, but that is all. I know that my panic attacks will go away and even in the depths of one, my calm, peaceful Norwegian voice I found, will whisper that all will be well, just ride it out, nothing to be afraid of – it always goes away – and I can almost function during one …. almost.

Yeah, the wind, and October: The thing that always followed was winter and that meant snow. Lots of snow:

And I loved it. If I was cold, I could put on down coats, and booties and sit closer to the fire, so cold was never the issue. It was all about the snow – so quiet, so peaceful, blanketing everything in Celestial white. And I would build a fire in “Lori’s Room” and read a book, and quietly, peacefully, cradled in 100 year old wood and a cocoon of snow … slowly heal. I loved the snow. It reminded me of growing up in Logan, Utah – and also made it no big deal to live in it.

In Norway in the winter, the sun would rise late and set early and stay very low on the horizon – and for a photographer – you know what that means. Entire days full of perfect light to take photographs. The only good time to take a photograph (you can ask anyone – don’t trust me, I don’t know what I am doing) is at dusk and dawn. And here I lived, right in the middle of magic light for 6 to 8 hours a day – and everything I looked at looked like a beautiful photograph.



But now I am in Houston, and will look forward to bundling up, and bringing out our winter dyne’s (duvet’s – Gary and I have individual ones, as they do in Norway – stops that hogging), but it is not the same. The cold is colder here- I guess the humidity – we blame it for everything else. I miss the silence of a snow fall, sitting in front of a fire, the feeling of being cradled in down, and light and snow and being able to sleep – really fall asleep.

I will miss the snow.

Pedro & Julio Siting!!!

I feel my parrots names need a wee bit of explanation. Pedro & Julio: clearly two male names. Is one a butch female ... no - my brain in the blink of a second evaluated that whenever I make assumptions I am clearly wrong, and wanting to see baby birdies made them a gay male parrot couple before I even knew what was going on. I looked up, saw two green parrots one day and out loud said "hello, Pedro and Julio". I thought it was weird also until I evaluated it and decided that it probably was the best chance I had of seeing little parrotlets. And who am I to judge - I just go with the flow of my brain which clearly:

A ) Has way to much alone, at home, time on its' hands
B ) Has disconnected from any portion of sane, logical sense that is still left up there

OK, that being said. I have not seen Pedro and Julio since before Ike. Where do parrots go during a hurricane with 70 mph winds? I don't know - I didn't see tons of dead birds on the road after so apparently they were watching the news also. I hear birds chirping in my chimney all the time - for all I know it is an Avian Evacuation Shelter - but if not, where do they go? I had assumed they just got out of town and stayed in parts unknown.

Yesterday, two familiar green birds landed on a tree outside and just sat there. To actually capture a photo of these very skittish fellows, I have to move as slow as a statue. For any of you who have seen the show Sneakers where Robert Redford has to move slowly through a room so he won't set off the alarms - Dan Ackroyds words go through my head every time: "Go real slow!!". I generally scare them off or don't get a good photo through the window. I need at least one siting during the day to raise the blinds.

They flew off and I raised the blinds. Then out of the blue - THREE green parrots alighted on my birdhouse - with one on the roof since there was no room. I froze and just watched and basically evaluated size. Nope - they were all the same size - no baby - just a tag along? In seconds the new one - looks 'fluffy' compared to Julio and Pedro - got nasty and had scared the two away. So either this is their 'child from hell' that eats way too much or a nasty friend. I named her Juanita for lack of anything else coming to my brain (and no, not because she was nasty - in all probability she is a male based on the actions of the other two, but I have way to many male names floating around already). Might just have to shuffle the names here now. I got one very poor shot off of the strange bird eating alone:

And in honor of Pedro and Julio's non-demise during Ike, I found two photos - one titled Julio and one titled Pedro (you realize I can't tell the two apart, right? - I'm insane but not REALLY insane) and thought I would post them:

Pedro

Julio

Karma

Apparently blogging about your Yearly Well Woman Exam can turn the Health gods against you. Have received exactly two calls from my doctor - which I should explain is a general practitioner who does Well Woman Checks so I got a complete physical also. The first was about my cholesterol. To prepare apparently I ate a stick of butter the night before since the results were through the roof. Pretty much they told me I was one of the walking dead. Put me on medication and said to come back in 3 months. Got a call yesterday and they left me a message to call immediately. That never sounds good ....

Well they had left for the day - so in my frustration, I decided to drown Bob and forget about it until exactly 8:01 this morning when I called back. They had my pap back and there were some cells they didn't like - squamous cells to be exact. Oh, and come back and we can do this all over again in 6 months! They said 'it was nothing, but could be pre-cancerous' (what part of that sentence seems weird to you?). Google 'squamous' and you get 'squamous cell carcinoma' EVERYWHERE. My good friend Wikipedia didn't have much good to say about it and had lovely photos to go with it. I'm not worried - I'm scheduled for a heart attack before I ever die of cancer - cool - quicker.

In that vein, I found Ryan and Gary the other night shopping for treadmills. They went out to Academy, were all fired up about it. It showed up on Saturday - the day after they gave me the news that I was going to die of a heart attack (actually they said it was probably hereditary since it just can't be that high - so thanks mom and dad - and medication should take care of it). So I'm thinkin' the treadmill delivery was a sign.

We put it together on Sunday - I had paid the delivery people to take it upstairs - being it weighed 260 pounds - I didn't want Gary and Ryan doing it. After putting it together, we promptly declared Sunday a day of rest and ignored it.

As you can see - we have decided what the upstairs family room is going to be when it grows up. We have not moved the furniture around / out yet, but the treadmill is in the perfect spot to watch TV, so I like it - I can also look to my right and see the family room downstairs - and watch the boys sitting, watching TV and eating Cheetos (kidding - I do it while they are gone). Speaking of the boys - each have been on it only once. I on the other hand have used it daily - put a gold star on my forehead. It does not hurt that I got the new year (last year) of CSI from Mr. Amazon (I don't watch TV - hate the commercials but do watch my favorite series on DVD) and told myself that I could only watch it while walking at 3 miles per hour .... up hill. Seems to be working.

So now I have two appointments to make - one for 3 months away where they will just take my blood probably/hopefully while I am fully clothed, and another 6 months away where I am sure I will be taking more photos of my feet. THIS is what you get for going to the doctor!

I wonder what this blog will get me ......

Wednesday's Theme apparently is: 'Water'

Torturing Bob

Got a new camera today - an Olympus Stylus 770 SW. It has 7.1 mega pixels, waterproof to 33 feet and shockproof up to 5 feet. I leave on a cruise with Bonne in a week and a half then we will be in Maui in November - I thought it would be fun to actually photograph what I was seeing while snorkeling. This camera got good reviews on photo quality - so my good friend Mr. Amazon sent me one.

I decided that since it was raining and Bob was already wet, he wouldn't mind being dunked head first into my tub so I could photograph something. I had asked Ryan to do the exact same thing and he said no. Bob was reluctant at first. Today was the first time I went in the back yard and couldn't find him. Put 'mind reader' on the list of things Bob can do. I finally found him hiding behind the shed. He seems happy enough, don't you think?

Hopefully, when I am in the water, I will be able to work out the half in / half out photo - I think they are cool. I can't seem to get rid of the blurry strip:

It takes pretty good photos out of the water also. This is my test shot. Basically because I can take the photo while sitting at my desk. The camera has a wider angle lens than my SLR - it cannot fit all this in to one photo:

All in all, I have had a pretty good 'wet' day. Bob is still in my tub, I told him he could swim for a while before putting him back outside. It looks like he may not know how:

Rain, Rain, Go Away .....

Drips & Drops

Went to wash my hands this morning and there was no water - just a few drops:

I realized that meant no laundry, no shower, no cleaning, no running the dishwasher, no drinks from the fridge dispenser, no watering the lawn, no watering my indoor plants. That is a lot of No's. I did not realize how dependant I am on being able to turn the tap and have clean, wet refreshing water rush out of the faucet.

It came on a while later.

I want to give my water company a big hug ....

Yearly Well Woman Exam

I am sure that title conjures up fond memories for anyone reading this with double 'x' chromosomes. Being health conscious myself and not actually having had a Well Woman Exam since before I moved to Norway, I called last week and made an appointment. Unfortunately, they had an opening the next day. So no week of mental preparation, no calling to cancel (like the one I made 6 months ago), no fleeing the country, etc - just had to show up.

Got in the office, take my blood pressure - 120 over 64, looking good (notice we skipped the scale entirely), temperature fine. And no - I am NOT going detail every minute of my appointment - I just felt a RANT coming on....

The nurse pulls two small pieces of tissue paper out of a drawer and says: "Take off everything, put the top on with the opening in the front and drape the sheet over your legs". Yeah. It looks like the stuff I just put in a gift bag ... this is just white instead of purple (which I guess is a blessing right there isn't it?)

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So I'm sitting there, smart enough to have brought my cell phone with me to the table, and I am trapped. When the nurse left, she failed to pull out the 'kiddie step' and I am short, and stupidly climbed up without pulling it out myself. If I tried to get off the table, it would be a bit of a drop and I could see me splayed on the floor, a twisted ankle with tissue paper strewn about.... (the naked part goes without saying, right?)

My cell phone doubles as a PDA so has a multitude of things to play with. I am trying to distract myself by checking my mail, my calendar, but sitting there in a tissue vest made for a 6 year old and trying to keep it shut in front is just too much multitasking for me to handle. I reached over to fix the tissue sheet (we will get to that later) and tore the bottom glue spot out from under the right arm of my 'vest' - so now I just have a 12" long cape on - just flapping in the breeze...

The sheet - is supposed to cover everything else. Maybe if I was, again 6 years old. Take a piece of tissue you place in a gift bag double the length and there you have it - what is supposed to cover the entire bottom portion of my body. So, my thinking is, so as not to flash those opening the door and everyone in the hall - I will start on the right side - yeah - the upper flapping cape side, and tuck it behind me and use what ever I have left to cover the other side. I am tucking and feeling pretty good about myself when the thing ripped almost in half. By now I am deciding that they have seen women with no clothes on before, they probably rarely see them making confetti out of the only covering they were given and so I stopped while I was ... ahead? No ... most definitely behind - and I do mean behind.

They keep the rooms at about 65 degrees, I think just because they are masochistic and leave you in there, waiting for the REAL fun to begin for about 45 minutes - probably just to break your spirit. I think there is some sort of book on the subject because before this lapse in yearly appointments, I was a good girl, going yearly and no matter where I went - It always went the same - except some places had cloth coverings. As my lips were turning blue, I was dreaming about the cloth coverings with a flash or two (no pun intended) of 'do I have any duct tape in my purse?'. Next time, I am bringing my bathrobe and sitting in the chair until she walks in for the appointment. Seriously.

I played solitaire, but it was hard to move the itty bitty cards on my screen while shivering, so I gave up and did what I do - took photos:

Here are my feet turning blue and going numb since they are just hanging out there with the circulation getting cut off.

I discovered quickly that camera phones are a tad lower in quality than my 10.1 mega pixel Digital SLR camera - but you can tell they are feet, right?

For people who do such a great service in bringing new life into this world, you would think that they could come up with a better, less humiliating way to give a yearly checkup.

Or is it just me?

Jessie's Sunday Visit

Ryan and I went to pick Jessie up for her weekly Sunday visit. I saw two women on the way in and they asked who I was. When I told them "Jessie's mom" they each said "Jessie is my friend" which felt wonderful. When we got inside to get her, she was with 'grandma' an adorable older woman. The first time I laid eyes on her was when Gary and I were touring the facility and she was in a game room. As we walked in, she raised her arms out in front of her as if imploring us to do something and belted out a pretty good rendition of the song: "The Old Rugged Cross" - it was great. She is quite high functioning and has told Gary before that she takes care of Jessie and looks out for her. She is about 4'9" tall, is always smiling (until today), has a beautiful twinkle in her eyes and a face that reminds me of my jolly Norwegian Mrs Santa Clause.

I told her Jessie was coming home for a while and she started to cry. She said she would miss Jessie so much, she did not want her to go. I was feeling bad and assured her that it would only be for a few hours and she started sobbing. I gave her a hug and said she would be back in no time and left her being consoled by three aides. I guess Jessie has some friends!

The first thing Jessie wanted to do when she got here was call her real grandma - so we left a message when we could not reach her. By the way - if you want to talk to Jessie and feel uncomfortable calling RSS, we generally have her from about 2:30 - 5:30 (central time) every Sunday so feel free to give us a call and you can talk to her - if you are local - you are welcome to stop by.

Gary had fixed dinner and had it ready by the time we had made the round trip - it was Stake Conference today, so no stopping by and picking her up after church. To our amazement, Jessie did not want to eat! She said she was not hungry. This is definitely a new situation for us. Maybe they are giving her something - I want some! So we ate while she watched TV ... quietly - also a new situation for us.

She then said she wanted to feed the ducks - where she got the idea we are not sure - maybe they do it at RSS - so we headed out: Jessie with a bag of bread and me with my camera.

Jessie was too nervous to walk down the grassy slope to the lake, so she watched while Gary fed the ducks:

This next photo I call "Afro Duck". I have no idea what is going on with its head! It is a lovely 'do, just have not seen one on a duck before"

A shot of 'fro duck with his friends:

Then to obligatory Frisbee session with Charlie. One of many she gets a day (when Gary is in town):



Then we got the inevitable "I want to go back" statement. We are used to it now and it does not phase us. She says she does not want to go back to RSS generally on the ride back a couple of times, but seems to be more to make us feel good, or to be polite than for real - her heart is just not in it.

Jessie not being at home has become quite normal for us now. I thought it would take much longer. I thought the panic and fear would be around for, well I was afraid forever - but they have eased to a manageable level. Now I am just basking in the 'weirdness' of a house without a very large 3 year old in charge.

Life is good.

Gary's Baby is Home ...

Gary's baby started swimming in Spain (at START) and ended at its' final spot off the coast of Italy (at END). For the fab photos and Gary's explanation click HERE. For towing photos and a lovely discourse on Archimedes Principle click HERE and HERE.

Here is his baby, at its' final spot and - as promised showing the installation of one of the Mooring Dolphins (the dolphin is behind the two red cranes):

Since I was a bit confused with all the ships and stuff around, Gary supplied me with a diagram of what it will look like when it is done. As explained in one of the previous blogs about Gary's baby, ships loaded with cooled Liquid Natural Gas (LNG) will pull up beside this and off load it. It is then heated and shipped to Italy via a pipeline on the ocean floor. The ships are so big they are almost the length of both Mooring Dolphins and the GBS structure itself - which is pretty darn big since the GBS structure is approximately the size of 4 football fields, so the length of two football fields. The ships tie off to the dolphins on each end and settle on the bumpers on the side of the GBS (they are blue in the diagram and yellow on the actual structure).

Here are a couple of more photos of the work in progress:

Our Contribution

The other day Ryan was ranting about the stock market troubles and decided to move on to the legacy we have left his generation and his children's generation. Somewhere in his comments he seemed to infer that we were responsible for the financial crisis, gas prices, global warming, wars and rumor of wars and pretty much everything else he sees wrong with the world today. I was sort of seeing his point until he made it abundantly clear (if just sort of kidding ... sort of) that the 'we' he was talking about was not my generation, but Gary and I personally. I was sort of amused since I have to give the kid points for the cleverness of his rant but I still smacked him (a girly smack - don't worry). I am a huge fan of rants - using them copiously myself.

When Gary came home from work, we discussed the days events - he likes to check up on me (my sanity level) and Ryan (see if he stayed in town ...) the usual 'normal' family stuff. I mentioned Ryans rant. We laughed and wondered if we ever worried about the plight of our generation or the world at the age of 18. We pretty much remember the world revolving around us, and could see no farther than oh, the next date.

Gary had apparently given it some thought that evening, and as we were heading off to bed he said: "Next time you talk to Ryan, tell him this is my nightly routine: First I take a 5 gallon container of gas and I pour it in the toilet and flush. Then I take a pile of money and burn it. Then, just for fun, I spray hairspray outside for a few minutes." "Is that all? (No cans of oil dumped in a field? No throwing away car batteries, cellphones, collecting barrels of toxic waste?)" I asked. "Pretty much that's it for now." He replied.

You gotta wonder why the kid has rants ...

Charlie's Friends

Meet Bob, The Cat:

This was a Christmas present to Charlie a few years ago. Don't know why his name is Bob, it just is. He is an outside cat. Charlie always tries to sneak him in the house and no matter how many times I tell her that Bob is an outside cat, Bob is not house trained, Bob will scratch the furniture, Bob has that crazy look on his face and I don't know what he is capable of - she always tries. One of my favorite games is 'Kitty Chucking'. I throw Bob and Charlie jumps in the air to catch him. In an over enthusiastic throw Bob landed on the roof - months ago. It took Hurricane Ike to convince Bob to come down. Charlie is thrilled that Bob has come back since she has only one other friend:

Meet Barney the Dinosaur:

Barney, on the other hand is an indoor pet. I get a perverse satisfaction of watching Charlie chew on him. I blame the media and PBS. Charlie has had Barney since I wrapped him up two years ago at Christmas for Ryan as a joke - I had found it unpacking. As soon as he opened it, Charlie ran over, grabbed it out of Ryan's hands and ran off with it to cuddle somewhere. I often find her on Ryan's bed spooning with Barney - she is the weirdest dog we have had ... Ryan blames me.

The funny part of Charlies relationship with Barney is that she is so gentle with him. She chews on him, but very gently. The rest of her toys (except Bob) have been ripped apart and stuffing strewn about the house - it is kind of creepy. The only 'injury' Barney has is a hole in the knee where he was hit with an arrow.

Yeah, an arrow - before moving to Norway, Gary Ryan and his friend Jordan were playing target practice in the backyard with the crossbow Gary had made (just so you know, there was a field behind our house - so they were not going to kill anyone with a stray arrow). They were looking for a good target to use and Barney seemed a perfect choice to all of us. They strapped Barney up by his arms and legs and went to town (obviously very bad shots) until Jessie came outside and screamed, horrified that they were killing Barney (with that huge mouth he has - it looked less like a friendly smile strapped up there - rather like a scream of horror - or he was smiling and enjoying it, and that is just icky). We took him down and gave him back to her. I packed it up when we moved to Norway and there it stayed until I unpacked after moving into this house.

Oddly, Jessie didn't care about Charlie adopting Barney - I guess she was over him.

Gary's Baby Dolphins

Nah, not that kind of 'dolphin' ....

THIS kind of dolphin: (OK, and the title should read: 'Garys Babys Dolphins'...)

Don't ask me, I have no clue about any of this. When Gary sent me the photos yesterday labeled: "Mooring Dolphin Progress and Photos", I was all "Cool - that is nice - what a lovely photo of Venice in the background ... would like to go there someday". Then promptly forgot them.

Today he sent me photos of his baby in place off the shore of Venice with one of the 'dolphins' installed. I said that I was going to use one of the photos of the dolphins being towed out since I liked the photo of Venice in the background even though it was not a structure he designed. This seemed to upset him, since apparently it is a structure he designed and asked: "Why do you think I had all those trips to Venice?" I shot back that we had lived in Norway for like two whole years and I was still a bit fuzzy on why we lived there, what's a few trips to Venice in the big scheme of things?

So - apparently I have no idea what my husband does at work - I do know the important things - like if he drops dead at work I get a boatload of money - important things like that, but I will need to take a refresher course on 'What my husband does for a living' before posting the rest of the photos - his baby is in place 17 kms out of Venice with a cute (baby) dolphin (get it?) installed beside it. The other one was installed today but I don't have photos.

Here are the lovely photos of his structure complete with interesting background (they look really good when you click on them to make them bigger). This way you can pretend to admire his structure and really just be scoping out Venice (just kidding Gary, really).

Note:

I was quite suprised that Wikipedia came through for me yet again: "A dolphin is a man-made marine structure that extends above the water level and is not connected to shore."