... there are only grades of ability in concealing it”
- Mark Twain
And on that note ...
I went to the Salon today.
I was MONTHS and MONTHS overdue.
When I was in Australia, I would tell myself that I would go when I got to the States ... and when I was in the States, I would rationalize that I had more time in Australia. Thus I would go when I was there. So - LOTS, and LOTS of growth since the last time my hair was colored.
I noticed two things:
1) With every coloring I seemed to be getting 'blonder' and 'blonder' and having been one that actually felt as if I could laugh at 'dumb blond' jokes ... didn't know how I felt about that.
2) I actually had LESS gray hair than I remembered.
After a discussion on what I wanted - my hair more the color of my real hair (there was a good three inches of that she could use as a gauge ....), the Stylist (I did not opt for the 'Master Stylist' and after getting the bill ... um, yeah ...) colored my hair first, then washed that out and did the highlights.
After the coloring ... I saw a chunk of my hair fall over my shoulder and ....
I was going to say had a:
'conniption fit'
.
.
.
I am digressing for a wee bit
.
.
.
I am digressing since I wanted to use the term 'conniption fit' but was not sure if I was spelling it right. So, of course, I googled it and found myself at 'WiseGEEK' (LOVE the name ...) which defined 'conniption fit' as the following:
"Assume for a minute you decided to tell your parents about your plans to ditch college and join the circus. The next event you witness should qualify as a conniption fit. A conniption fit is a sudden, violent emotional outburst generally triggered by shocking news or an unexpected turn of events. Unlike a tantrum, which could be triggered with little outside provocation, a conniption fit is often an anticipated response to incredibly bad or disappointing news. A conniption fit is generally characterized by a tirade of strong language accompanied by signs of frustration, rage and/or sadness. Sometimes a person having a conniption fit is reduced to stutters and incomprehensible epithets."
After reading that (and finding it incredibly funny for some reason) I am unsure, now, if I actually HAD a conniption fit.
What happened at the salon after seeing my hair:
Lori: "Um, my hair looks REALLY, REALLY dark ..."
Stylist: "That's because it is wet ... you are fine."
Lori: "Oh... kaaaaay ..."
I think what I had was an INTERNAL CONNIPTION FIT. Which is pretty much the same as a conniption fit, but without all the noise and flailing about. Because at this point IN MY MIND I started shouting about things like:
"I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT COLOR MY HAIR IS WET"
and
"WHERE WERE YOU DURING THE DISCUSSION ABOUT HAIR COLOR?"
and
"ARE YOU BLIND?"
and quite a few
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH's"
and maybe some 'strong language', 'frustration, and 'sadness' ... I don't believe I stuttered, but don't quote me on that.
So ... she highlights my hair, we go to another part of the Salon ... this time there are mirrors (there were none in the 'coloring area') and
yes ... my HAIR LOOKED DARK and
yes, IT WAS WET and
yes, I TOLD HER TO MATCH MY ORIGINAL COLOR
so ... maybe another baby internal conniption fit, but by then I was pretty much resigned to the fates.
It is at this point - when they are chopping off all of my hair that I remember WHY I delay going and doing all this FOR A FEW GRAY HAIRS: it had been FOUR FREAKING HOURS! So I was just looking forward to going home and laying down ... I didn't care at that point if I was bald ...
She cuts it, dries it, and ....
DAMN!!!
- Mark Twain
And on that note ...
I went to the Salon today.
I was MONTHS and MONTHS overdue.
When I was in Australia, I would tell myself that I would go when I got to the States ... and when I was in the States, I would rationalize that I had more time in Australia. Thus I would go when I was there. So - LOTS, and LOTS of growth since the last time my hair was colored.
I noticed two things:
1) With every coloring I seemed to be getting 'blonder' and 'blonder' and having been one that actually felt as if I could laugh at 'dumb blond' jokes ... didn't know how I felt about that.
2) I actually had LESS gray hair than I remembered.
After a discussion on what I wanted - my hair more the color of my real hair (there was a good three inches of that she could use as a gauge ....), the Stylist (I did not opt for the 'Master Stylist' and after getting the bill ... um, yeah ...) colored my hair first, then washed that out and did the highlights.
After the coloring ... I saw a chunk of my hair fall over my shoulder and ....
I was going to say had a:
'conniption fit'
.
.
.
I am digressing for a wee bit
.
.
.
I am digressing since I wanted to use the term 'conniption fit' but was not sure if I was spelling it right. So, of course, I googled it and found myself at 'WiseGEEK' (LOVE the name ...) which defined 'conniption fit' as the following:
"Assume for a minute you decided to tell your parents about your plans to ditch college and join the circus. The next event you witness should qualify as a conniption fit. A conniption fit is a sudden, violent emotional outburst generally triggered by shocking news or an unexpected turn of events. Unlike a tantrum, which could be triggered with little outside provocation, a conniption fit is often an anticipated response to incredibly bad or disappointing news. A conniption fit is generally characterized by a tirade of strong language accompanied by signs of frustration, rage and/or sadness. Sometimes a person having a conniption fit is reduced to stutters and incomprehensible epithets."
After reading that (and finding it incredibly funny for some reason) I am unsure, now, if I actually HAD a conniption fit.
What happened at the salon after seeing my hair:
Lori: "Um, my hair looks REALLY, REALLY dark ..."
Stylist: "That's because it is wet ... you are fine."
Lori: "Oh... kaaaaay ..."
I think what I had was an INTERNAL CONNIPTION FIT. Which is pretty much the same as a conniption fit, but without all the noise and flailing about. Because at this point IN MY MIND I started shouting about things like:
"I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT COLOR MY HAIR IS WET"
and
"WHERE WERE YOU DURING THE DISCUSSION ABOUT HAIR COLOR?"
and
"ARE YOU BLIND?"
and quite a few
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH's"
and maybe some 'strong language', 'frustration, and 'sadness' ... I don't believe I stuttered, but don't quote me on that.
So ... she highlights my hair, we go to another part of the Salon ... this time there are mirrors (there were none in the 'coloring area') and
yes ... my HAIR LOOKED DARK and
yes, IT WAS WET and
yes, I TOLD HER TO MATCH MY ORIGINAL COLOR
so ... maybe another baby internal conniption fit, but by then I was pretty much resigned to the fates.
It is at this point - when they are chopping off all of my hair that I remember WHY I delay going and doing all this FOR A FEW GRAY HAIRS: it had been FOUR FREAKING HOURS! So I was just looking forward to going home and laying down ... I didn't care at that point if I was bald ...
She cuts it, dries it, and ....
DAMN!!!
it is not really all that dark after all ....
*********
A special note to all you English Majors (OK and Math Majors):
I have been reading, almost exclusively, British novels and my Facebook page is set to UK English since it kept bugging me to change it and after I did .... it shut up about it. Thus - I have been finding that I have been spelling all my words wrong and the spell checker is not catching it because it seems fine with UK English.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA how many times I had to go and change 'coloured' to 'colored' ... AND IT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK RIGHT!!!
But ... I apologi'z'e for messing up my spelling - I have made it a goal now that I am exclusively in the States to try to 'get it right'.
5 comments:
Your hair is BEAUTIFUL! You are so lucky to be having only a few gray hairs and being able to go months. I have to color mine every THREE WEEKS!!!! I do it myself, or I would go crazy. Four hours in the beauty salon is way beyond my limit.
Anyway, I love your hair!
Okay Ms. Merriam-Webster-Hurst, I was thinking that maybe it was just a teeny tiny hissy Fit.
The example they site in Merriam-Webster was; The diva threw a major hissy fit when she had to wait for her trailer to be ready.
Well hissy might be a bit harsh. Your hair looks great, too bad Gary's not around to enjoy seeing you running through the house in nothing but your golden locks.
Well I'm sure that'll happen soon enough. Take care AJ
Hissy Fit? HISSY FIT? I thought that I was a bastion of calm ... considering that my hair seemed to look sort of like ... black - 'so not my color' (said in a 'valley girl' accent).
Unless you mean INTERNAL HISSY FIT and ... yeah - it might have been that ... but I am taking umbrage at the 'diva' part ...
(and reading an old post of mine - having a very bad day with an incompetent nurse ... a friend of mine mentioned that she would have gone 'all spider monkey' on the nurse attacking me with a needle ... I am going to have to work that into a post one of these days ... although she never did actually DEFINE 'going all spider monkey' ... maybe 'WiseGEEK' can tell me ...)
Oh ... and yeah ...it's late and I am amped up on caffeine ... I DO NOT HAVE GOLDEN LOCKS (those blond jokes ...)
THE END
I love your hair! It looks expensive. I'm saying that in the Project Runway sense - they use that word to convey that something looks like it is worth a kajillion dollars, and it is a high compliment.
Um, well, yeah Jen - it looks expensive BECAUSE IT WAS EXPENSIVE. I should probably post again, but one post about my hair is the limit.
After taking the photos ... outside in the SUNLIGHT, I wrote the post and posted it. HAVING NEVER WANDERED PAST A MIRROR.
On the way to my closet, I walked past our huge mirror in the master bathroom and about screamed! I didn't recognize myself and thought a stranger was in my bathroom ... seriously.
MY HAIR IS DARK.
So I am not sure it is worth the $$ but I can't get highlights myself. I have never colored my hair myself so I am a chicken to try - but probably need to start - it would save money - but the best: it would be oh, so blissfully short in time!
So - do y'all just read the back of the box and follow instructions? Am I going to be able to handle doing this myself? This is ME we are talking about ...
Post a Comment