Breaking Basic Bouncy Ball Bylaws?

Befuddled by bizarre behavior ...

Confused by Charlies current complaint ...

Disgusted with my dogs demeaning demands ...

Charlie and I are having problems. I see couples therapy in our future ...

Basically - I am normal and she up and done lost her mind today. We have currently imposed a 'time out' and retreated to our corners to think this Bouncy Ball activity through. Had she given me a set of bylaws to start with - rules NOT to be messed with - we might have never run into troubles.

Here's the thing - I bounce a ball for Charlie - she runs, jumps and basically fetches it, brings it back to me and we start over again. She loves it, I do it because I can't throw a Frisbee, and when Gary is gone - it is a poor dogs substitute for exercise.

About 75% of the time, when I tell Charlie on the last throw "This is the last throw" she refuses to bring the ball back to me - so I believe she is catching on to the phrase. Last night she refused to come, and then refused some more, so I left her outside, panting, ball in her mouth to do ... whatever she does when I am not looking (long division comes to mind ...).

Later, she came in, sans ball and I forgot all about it until it was time, apparently, for a rousing round of bouncy ball this afternoon. As I got to the drawer to give Charlie a ball, I remembered that there was a ball out there somewhere and so we would not be needing one. She seemed a bit confused, but ran outside and grabbed the ball sitting in the grass.

She then DROPS the ball and heads over to me all expectant like, excited, jumping up and down. I told her I needed the ball - go get it. She ran off and through the bushes ... sniffing the ground and surrounding grass.

Lori: "Charlie, it is right there ... where you dropped it!" Pointing to the ball.

Charlie runs off to the other side of the garage sniffing the ground, the bushes. Returns.

Lori: "Charlie bring me the ball."

Charlie runs in the opposite direction and to the side of the house - sniffing the ground. Returns. Picks up the ball and sits down.

Lori: "Charlie. Bring. Me. The. Ball."

Charlie drops the ball and comes over to me and stands, expectantly awaiting ... what? Who the hell knows ...

Lori: "Charlie, you don't bring me the ball, we are not going to play. I am NOT going to fetch the ball for you."

Charlie runs through the bushes and grass sniffing ...

I walk over and pick up the ball.

Lori: "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"

I bounce the ball.

Charlie spins twice, jumps in the air, catches it in her mouth, lands, looks at me, drops the ball, and comes and sits in front of me.

Lori: "What? WHAT? Seriously, dude - we are not going to play if you don't stop acting ... weirder than usual"

Charlie sits in front of me, tail wagging, jumps twice for good measure.

I fetch the ball yet again, surreptitiously smell it - seems fine ... and bounce it.

Charlie JUST SITS THERE.

Lori: "THAT'S IT! I'm going in the house. What is wrong with you? IT'S JUST A BALL!!!"

I head to the door and open it. Charlie zips past me like a rocket and to the ball drawer, sits all a quiver in front of it.

Lori: "No way ... you had your chance ..."

Charlie: "gggggrrrrraaaawwwwrrrrrrllllll, aaaarrrrrr, aaaaaaarrrrrllllll, eeeeeeerrrrrrggggg"

Lori: "Don't even start ... and DO NOT use that tone with me ..."

I sit down at my desk.

She is still sulking. Comes over every now and again and in her doggie growly speak CLEARLY informs me of my breach of contract, or something. For the most part, I speak 'Charlie' even when she switches to Norwegian, but today - ikke så bra ...

So ... like ... who has lost their mind and who has not? OK, don't answer that ...

Any ideas on why, why, why Charlie would not play bouncy ball with a ball that up until today lived in the 'Bouncy Ball drawer' with all the other bouncy balls. She does a lot of weird things - but this - is just so ... weird!

And while Charlie grumpled at me, I played 'scrap book girl' (SO not a good look for me ...). There is a tree in our neighbors yard changing colors. It is my little bit of fall - or it is dying - I don't know which ...

Off to argue with psycho-mutt some more ...