14 May 2013

Distractions ...


What do you do when you are going mad with pain, can't seem to get any relief and no one is willing to shoot you?

Why, go shopping - of course!

Thing is - when you are in massive amounts of pain ... There seems to be some drawbacks:

1) You are not at all rational.

2) Your normal "where you draw the line" limitations ... oh, say, for instance - you know - just for clarification - your spending limit for a particular item ... seems to have completely abandoned your conscience.

3) Pretty much you don't care about anything - but stopping the pain - so your wise decision-making abilities are nowhere in sight.

4) Since all mental effort during this time is just screaming at the top of its lungs "STOP! STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY PLEASE OH PLEASE STOP THE PAIN! In a repeating loop - your memory - sketchy at best - is completely gone.

Thus - on the surface - shopping does not seem to be the best choice you can make at a time like this - but, hey - we are talking about ME and I make stupid decisions ALL THE TIME so why not now?

Thus on to the web - pick a totally random item to shop for and go for it!

My choice?

Nativities!

Very fun, very cool, tons to choose from and the best part?

One can NEVER have too many nativity sets.

Am I right or am I right?

Gary walked in while I was gleefully (well as gleeful as you can be in this situation) and asked what I was doing?

He didn't fool me - he had REALLY come in just to see if I was still alive and was trying to cover for it - thus I could have told him that I thought that I needed an addition to my 'Shrunken Head Collection' and he would have distractedly nodded his head and said something wise while walking back out of the room.

He surprised me though by sitting down (after peeking at what I was shopping for) and began to surf on his iPad. Soon he told me that he had sent me a link via e-mail and wanted me to look at it.

I jumped to the link, only to find a wooden Nativity set.

So I asked him what he was doing? He told me if I was shopping for nativities he wanted me to get ones he liked ... which was basically solid wood ones. In fact - the one he showed me was actually IDENTICAL to the solid olive wood one we bought at Christchurch Cathedral in Christchurch, New Zealand minus a few pieces so I am not entirely convinced he actually looks at the ones we have.

I shut my iPad, closed my eyes and just listened to the screaming in my head.

A bit later Gary asked me why I had stopped shopping? I told him he ruined my "Fantasy Shopping Spree" thus stopped.
Eventually he got bored of watching me breathe and left.

I decided to give it another shot and began shopping. Because I am such a good wifey I shopped for a bit for wooden ones - but all the ones I found looked quite a bit like the ones we already have.

Feeling all noble and whatnot - I than moved on to what I had been doing before.

I am always on the lookout for unusual nativities and did find a few. During my shopping, I realized that I did not have a generic, colored porcelain one. I have porcelain ones, but they are all white - so I thought that one of those would be a very good idea even though it is the exact opposite of 'unusual'.

Found a LOVELY one ... In fact it was fabulous, spectacular, fantastic ... just ... Heavenly. Alas, it listed for a twee bit over $6,000 and even in my altered state I realized that maybe a full set of Lladró needed to wait until I have robbed a bank or won the lottery ... which ever comes first ...

Then I found another! It was stunning! It was unusual! It had some wood in it! I LOVED it LOVED it LOVED it! And while I wouldn't have to rob a bank (MUCH more likely then that lotto thing since I have never purchased a lotto ticket) it was a wee bit pricey. So ... I put it in my "Wish List" at Amazon (yes, the cheapest that I found it) and have mentioned to Gary that it would be a LOVELY Birthday gift!


See:









I think it is absolutely lovely ... it would make a WONDERFUL Birthday gift (Gary ... Hint, Hint)


So I sallied forth ... determined to find some fun Nativities that would't break my bank ... too much and gleefully started saving book marked pages.

Apparently at some point during some of my more intense bouts of pain - I decided to purchase a few. I really, really don't remember doing this ... sort of. But that's my story and I'm sticking with it ...


Fast forward a bit and here I am ... surprise!


Still in bed ...

Still in massive amounts of pain ...

Still going nuts and begging people to shoot me ...

The fun just NEVER stops around here!

A non-stop party ...


This morning I limped out to my computer to do ... something - of course I cannot remember now - that would be just to hard for my neurons right now. I noticed three boxes piled in the entry and realized that these were my mythical Nativities come to life!

Seriously ... how cool is that? You shop for them, bookmark them, click you heels together three times and voilà!

Magic!


Here's my lovely "Ivy Nativity"

And this cutie is a new cloth Nativity (duh) to replace the one I have had for years. The old one has always been sort of floppy and the Creche was always smooshed and looking like it had been through a horrific earthquake.

And what sort of responsible parent would lay Baby Jesus in a building that could fall down at any minute? I always sort of felt guilty about that ... and the fact that I was contributing to the delinquency of minors by leaving it out and letting all the children think it was perfectly fine to house babies in run down, decrepit buildings ...

But this NEW one is in tip-top shape! Brand spanking new, up to code on many things and above code on the rest!

Parents can breathe easy and let their baby and themselves get a good night's rest!


An adorable little set! Some are most definitely having Very Bad Hair days ... but that just seems to add to their charm!

OK - except for this Wise Man ... He sorta just looks like he has been imbibing on some of the stronger liquid 'gifts' ...


But don' they just look so sweet and comfy? Simply adorable!

And here is my choice for an inexpensive porcelain Nativity. Part of the choice had to do with the wonderful Creche - sadly a very cute part - a door that is partially open - I am assuming to a darling wee bitty shed is totally blocked in this photo by the angel ... Dang! And of course I am just too lazy to go take another photo ... and my foot is killing me ... and my side is on fire - and double that with each step I take. yeah, yeah, yeah - I know: excuses, excuses, excuses I be just full of em ...

Alas, our first casualty was discovered as I extricated Joseph from his styrofoam house and then took him out of his bag. He came out ... then his hand followed.

I am not really sure how this could have happened with him having his own room and all ... we may never know.

I would LIKE to think it was horrible accident during an incident of sparring with the shepherd using what many consider the most lethal of the Martial Arts the Bujinkan Taijutsu (also known to many as Ninjutsu) but since Joseph is a carpenter by trade ... it is probably something rather mundane like whacking it off (accidentally, of course) with a hatchet or sawing it off on a dare ...

We may never know ...
Not to worry, though! A brand spanking new Joseph is already in route to me (and if a spare Joseph cannot be found - an entire new Nativity will arrive instead - might come in handy if any more sparring is to take place ...).

I was also very lazy and didn't place the 'straw' on the ground making it look way better - but I just was not up to that. I am thrilled that it is supplied since I usually have to go out to Gary in his shop and beg him to plane something to make me some cool fake straw (AKA sawdust) ... Don' tell Gary but this stuff kicks butt.

Here is how it is supposed to look:
Much more authentic with the straw - yes?



And!


I have saved the best for last!

It kicks butt in the unusual department, is very cool,versatile and the pieces are so heavy, if needed they can come in very handy as a quick weapon ...

Whats not to LOVE about this puppy?

This is called Enesco Pillars Nativity - this is the front - and one of the many permutations it can be arranged in:

Here is the back and the beautiful writing - all depicting the story of Christs birth:

Here is another arrangement:

And yet another:



Since the other two Nativities I ordered ...


WHAT??


Are on back-order and might take their own sweet time getting here - I stole photos off the web just to share. The first one has an odd name "Real Live Nativity" Google THAT and see what you get!

But it is beautiful and I ordered the largest size - it says that Balthazar is 14" tall ...

That helps if you are buddies with Balthazar and know him on sight ...

Or you can just guess he is the tallest and move on ...


Here is another photo sans the Creche (we will be getting to it in a bit ...) and shows the main reason I purchased this particular Nativity ... Well ... the difference between the two photos is the reason.

There is a BIG difference between this photo and the previous one - and I am not talking about the missing Creche ... can you see it?





Huh?





Huh?





OH COME ON! play along - what is the difference?


















I would HOPE that you at least tried ... let me know in the comments if you spotted it - it just might be the most exciting thing in my day ... you never know!



This is Mary - HOLDING BABY JESUS! In the first photo he is in the Manger.

I really, really LOVE that she can hold him (and when he gets all fussy, or wet, or whatnot she can put him in the Manger ... how versitile!)



Back to the Creche - LOVELY in its own right and is the second reason I picked this Nativity. No, I am not going to make you guess ...




It is lit!

Seriously ... how cool is that?

It makes everything look so beautiful ...

At least it WOULD had this not been a crappy photo .... seriously the only one I could find on the web showing it lit ...



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!

This is one called "Legacy of Love" and stunningly beautiful!

Don't you think so?


And one more shot of it:



Well folks ... that's it!

My distracting 'mythical' shopping spree ...


I have a feeling it just might not be the last ...

3 comments:

Cherri said...

No wonder you have 17 bins of things Christmas! (Maybe slightly more, I just picked a random number).

Speaking of random numbers, try dividing out (by hand) 1/243. It has some very cool patterns, and our physics teacher spent 30 minutes today in my calc class explaining and pointing them out. Maybe doing the long division by hand, looking for the pattern, and seeing when the repeating part starts over again will keep your mind off your pain, or maybe you will just shoot me next time on sight!

Lori Hurst said...

Long division ... What's long division? I have a calculator for that!

Sarah said...

I noticed!! :)