The Naughty Wise Man ...

I was debating between the title up there and:

"How did they DO That?"

The current title won out because as best that I can recall, I have never actually used the words "naughty" and "wise man" in the same sentence.

I'm all about 'firsts' ... experiencing everything ... living in the moment type of Gal and thought

"Why Not?"



What?


YES I AM LIKE THAT!



I AM!



AM TOO!!!


OK, OK, I'm not at all like that, I am outright lying to you - I just thought it was a catchy phrase!


So - I have come THIS CLOSE to being Sainted this weekend by FINALLY getting my 'UnChristmas On' and putting away decorations.

That I got out of bed yesterday morning to find every single one of my ornaments sitting ... ever so gently ... on a blanket the length of one of the counters in the kitchen had absolutely NOTHING to do with it ... at all ...


OK, I'm lying again ...


And I noticed that things got ... weird ... EVEN FOR ME! Thus another post when I get to it, but today I gathered everything up around the house and put it in the entry as my 'put away staging area' ... if you will.


Because you wouldn't want it where EVERY SINGLE SOUL THAT COMES TO THE DOOR can't tell that you are an ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC UN DECORATING GODDESS ... now would you?

And all the thieves and pirates and what not can just take inventory standing right there looking through the door - no muss, no fuss - aren't I just the CONSIDERATE ONE today?

After schlepping every little thing into a pile for viewing by strangers, I started to put away the Origami Nativity because I was not going to transfer it anywhere ... thank you very much. I had broken enough pieces of it (OK, only one - but a COOL one and I got another so I will just shut my mouth now ...) I didn't want to chance a disaster.

It started out smoothly enough. I panicked when I opened the first box and saw all the lovely Styrofoam cutouts since I had no idea what went in which box - but, thankfully there was a lovely photo of the items that came inside the box - thus it was a no brainer ...

Finished the first box and moved on to the second. It all seemed obvious enough and I knew that all the rest of the pieces sitting out belonged inside this set of Styrofoam cut outs and I began.

It was going swimmingly until I hit the last Wise Man. The other pieces were rather distinctive and I could tell where they went - the star ... duh, the angel has a freaking trumpet sticking out - thus the one that took care of that - like I said ... no brainer.

But no matter what I tried - that dang Wise Man would not fit in the last hole! I re-evaluated my placements and decided that, yep - they were all in their proper places.

Look for yourself - tell me that they are not in there "Proper Assigned Rooms" (the 'Naughty guy is the  middle large piece in the left side section on the bottom):

Photographers note: the Nativity is a very white white - which here does not look so - I changed the contrast, saturation, hue and detail to get the white white Nativity pieces to stand out from the white white Styrofoam.

Here I he is face up and WAY bigger than the hole ...

Now tell me HOW is he supposed to fit in there:

I tried sideways one way:

And sideways the other way:

I tried face first ... and he looked, well -

I don't know -

but I told him he had to say

 

"I'm not worthy"

 

three times or I was throwing him away:

I gave up ... I was bluffing about throwing him away anyway ...

I got a bit desperate and did the UNTHINKABLE. I tried to force him in pushing

HARD -

REALLY, REALLY HARD ...

yet, still -

the guy just would not budge!

Here is a lovely close-up of how well my

'forcing him in the dang hole'

 went:

We had a conversation at that point (Gary is out of town for quite some time and I tend to get a wee bit more chatty with inanimate objects when he is gone .... among other things ... yeah, *sigh* pretty much a WHOLE LOT of other things ...):

Me: Dude - what's the deal? I KNOW YOU GO THERE so shape up and GET IN ... um, YOUR ROOM!

Wise Man:

Me: NO? SERIOUSLY! What? Is it that the Angel is blowing a trumpet in your ear? I know that can be annoying as hell (oh, sorry - pardon the french ...) but I didn't pick YOUR ROOM - go ... get ...

Off you go ...

Wise Man:

Me: *sigh* Is it Joseph? In the room on the other side of you? Does he smell? Does he snore? Talk in his sleep?

WHAT?!?


IS!?!


THE?!?


PROBLEM!?!

Wise Man:

Me: *bigger sigh* OK, now I know this might be a delicate subject ... but you can tell me - I WILL NOT JUDGE YOU. Um, did you eat too much over the holidays and gain a few pounds?

Is that all this is about? Because I can understand that and I will help you out - you just need to tell me what the problem is and so I can fix it and ship y'all off into 'outer darkness' or, well, I mean in a trunk in the attic - really - it's rather comfortable up there ...

Wise Man:

Me: I am going to take your silence as one of two things:

a) For some reason you are the type of Wise Man that takes a vow of silence - THUS cannot answer me (if that sort of Wise Man really exists ... AND I THINK NOT - you are just being a butt ...)

or

b) You are just too ashamed to admit to the overindulgence and weight gain.


Thus I have no choice - I am going to do me some RENOVATING!!!


I have JUST THE TOOL to demolish 'Stubborn Wise Man's room:



My trusty barnekniv!!!




What?



You DON'T have a barnekniv?


You don't know what one is?


Well, it is a Norwegian word. You pronounce it: "barn-na-ka-neeeve" (the Norwegians pronounce the 'n' after the 'k').

Translated it means "Child's Knife"



Why YES I did say "Child's Knife".



Is there a problem ...

other than that oxymoron'ish word ...

the safety issues ...

and the fact that Norwegians must be insane to 'arm' three year olds?



NO ...

I am NOT lying to you - translated LITERALLY:

Barne = "Child"
Kniv = "Knife"

I KID YOU NOT.

And they USUALLY do sell them to children, but I thought it was cute (and is rather sharp I am totally dumbfounded to say) so I bought one.

I have some really, really cool knives from Norway - but they don't get much use - which is probably a good thing they are way sharper, way bigger and way, way more menacing looking.

I am more of a barnekniv type of gal anyway - thus I still have the full use and all the pieces of all ten of my fingers ... plus!

It sits on my desk in its place of honor - a beautiful hand made ceramic pot by "Tamiko" - or if you lived in the Mission Bend Ward back some years ago - she went by the name: Marjorie Anderson but has since moved to Idaho.

I absolutely LOVE her work and have many, many of her ceramic items - this one was not for sale - but one day when I was over at her house I talked her into selling it to me!

It is the perfect 'Holder of Many Useful Things" and usually there is a pair of scissors sticking out of it but currently they are playing with my Nativities on the 'Staging Table'.

Gary and Ryan are constantly stealing it to use because it is so handy and it is ALWAYS, ALWAYS in the pot - EXCEPT when THEY use it ... then I have to go foraging for my beloved pal and put him back in place.

I keep telling them that they need their own Barnekniv but they say that a "Child's Knife" is beneath them -

ODD THAT MINE DOES NOT SEEM TO BE ...

And a remodeling we go.

I SIMPLY CANNOT BELIEVE that I have been reduced to this ...

But - JOY! - Lookie:

I am not well versed in "Wise Man Hand Signals" so either he is telling the Angel to "Shut up", giving me the "OK" sign or saying something to me that is inappropriate to print here in this blog ... (which is saying A LOT ...)

I'm sorta leaning a wee bit on the last one but ...

you just NEVER KNOW with Wise Men these days ...

All done! They are trapped! Liking their rooms or not - they are done for the season and on to a very hot, humid hibernation ...

*sigh*

Only Twelve more trunks to go ...