Stupid ... Stupid ... Stupid ...

This week has been STELLAR! For Oh, so many reasons.

Gary headed to Oslo, Norway on Monday - and so - per the usual course of events - all the little evil gnomes in my house come out to play.

I had a whopper of a head cold when he left, but Tuesday had me flat in bed with a massive migraine. I had to get up because we had three very large items being delivered and were scheduled so I would stagger to the door when they got here and direct them to dump what ever in the garage.

We had ordered a pre-lit 9 foot artificial Christmas tree - EXACTLY like our old one. Our old one came complete with one of the sections unlit. We tried - three times - to get it replaced with a working set and three times they sent us the wrong section. We finally got fed up with it and decided to order a new one just like it. I sort of wanted the 10 foot one since our entry is very large and could take it - but for twice the price - that foot didn't seem very cost effective.

One of the times I was up, I decided to get on and see where our beloved tree was. I will state that it was coming with some stupid music box called "Maestro Mouse" because all of the 9 foot regular trees were sold out (this was way at the beginning of November) so we splurge the extra dollars for some stupid music thing and ordered our tree.

I got on and the status said "Delivered - Front Porch". What? There was a little box from Home Depot - the place we ordered it from but I was assuming it was some doohickey for Gary. I went to his desk and opened it up - and there sat Maestro Mouse ... but no ginormous box with a tree in it.

Called and they said - sorry but we ran out. What? YOU TOOK THE MONEY OUT OF CREDIT CARD! IT SAID PACKAGE 2 OF 2 on the stupid Maestro Mouse! You would not have done that if you had not sent us one?

They said the warehouse would call me.

Next thing you know - the warehouse calls and starts showing me the UGLIEST trees you ever did see - and I had a sneaking suspicion she was trying to convince me that they would send us one of those (lets not mention that they were hundreds of dollars cheaper - and thus probably looked it). I got a call wating notification on my phone from the delivery guys who had called me 2 1/2 hours earlier saying they would be at my house in 20 minutes. I interrupted the warehouse lady and told her I really needed to take this call because I was sure they were lost and could she call me back in 10 minutes?

She said that was fine and I got the second delivery out of the way. And then waited for Warehouse Lady to call back.

She didn't.  Sigh ...

I headed back to bed and wrapped myself in my 'migrane cocoon' and stayed there for at least 18 hours.

I finally decided to get out of bed and call Home Depot again, but was a bit cranky since we were on day two of a massive migraine that just would not let up and decided that THEY WERE GOING TO GIVE ME THAT 10 FOOT TREE. I discussed it with the person on the phone and told her it was not our fault they messed up. And soon we had a 10 foot tree ordered with expedited shipping. Proud of myself I went and passed out in bed again.

As I was laying there I heard a 'beep, beep, beep, beep ....'. I sighed - the battery on our security system is going and I keep ignoring it - I just hit the reset and it shuts up for a couple weeks or a month or so. Got out of bed - with the usual fireworks going off in my head from going from a prone position to a standing position with a migrane - ALWAY FUN - staggered to the alarm console - hit the reset sequence - and

SILENCE!


Sweet silence!


There are two absolute requirements when you have a level 5 migraine - silence and darkness.

I sighed and fell back in bed. Thirty seconds later: 'beep, beep, beep, ...'. Got up and went through the whole routine again - but a little leery that this was going to do the job since Gary was gone - I was all alone and the evil house gnomes were roaming freely.

Nope - no go. Got the manual out and tried to find out how to turn the damn thing off - the manual will tell you ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING except how to turn it off. So off to google I went. Found someone who wanted to power his down for a bit and they told him what to do.

Here's were the Stupid, Stupid, Stupid part comes. I really didn't know what else to do - I was not going to lay there for two more days listening to the damn thing beep - so I got out my trusty ladder from my closet:

It is only a four foot ladder - but we have high 14' ceilings and I cannot reach the top shelves without it. Unfortunately the alarm system is at the tippy top of Gary's closet. See that up there - waaay up at the very top?  I actually have to stand on the top of the ladder (I believe this is a 'no no' in ladder etiquite - but I cannot reach the top shelves - or the alarm system box without doing so ...)

Yanked the battery and came back down. Was so woozy, and barfy and dizzy - I remember thinking this was really, really not wise. As I lay there listening to the silence - I realized that the answer to the guys question was a two step process and I had done only one step. Sighed dramatically for Charlie and weaved and wove my way back into Gary's closet and very carefully climbed the ladder. My vision was going in and out and the fireworks were going off rather spectacularly in my head and I do remember thinking this was probably the most stupid thing I had ever done.

I really don't know the sequence of events that follows but based on the stiffness in my arms and knees and the huge flat bump on the back of my head - when I fell off the ladder - which - I mean, did you really think I was not going to? I must have tried to grab on to the poles - there are three levels of bars on both sides of his closet and then somehow hit the back of my head on the dresser right there:

Looking around Gary's closet it seems to be the only thing that I could have hit that would leave a long straight bump.

I don't really know how long I was out. My friends came over - I am assuming they rang the doorbell - but didn't hear it. I woke up to Charlie licking my face and based on the approximately 10 layers of dog spit on me - it might have been some time.

I lay there for awhile - testing each part of my body - incredibly please and surprised that nothing seemed broken - but man I AM SORE! And if I thought that migraine hurt - try a migraine and a semi-concussion at the same time.

Unplugged my phone since the time it rang had me barfing into a bucket from the noise - stuck earplugs in and cocooned myself in bed until Gary came home the next day.

Surprisingly - our tree came early! Gary set it up - and - dang - Ten feet is rather tall! This is Gary on my ladder I usually decorate the tree with:

He seems as if it is a struggle for him to reach everything. I am pretty sure the days of me decorating the tree by myself are over. It is not going to be pretty since all my ornaments are glass and crystal - individually boxed and purchased all over the world and my 'boys' are going to see my 'crazy' for the first time and ... well I am not sure what ...

All I know is I am pretty sure I am not getting on that ladder for a while yet - my head is still pounding - to the beat of Stupid, Stupid, Stupid ...