Walk through my house and you might notice something strange.
OK, let me start over ... 'strange' is not in short supply at my home. You might notice that there are no family portraits, photos of the kids growing up, etc. Just a heartless, cruel, horrible mother? Well, yes, but also - Jessie is not 'photogenic'. I don't mean that in a heartless, cruel, horrible way - I mean that she never looks like 'Jessie' in her photo. She tries to pose, or talks or something else and, well, she looks mentally retarded in the photo.
Since she is mentally retarded, this should not be an issue with me - and it's not that. It's that she does not look like Jessie: the every day, have a conversation with her, Jessie. She looks ... off. And it bothers me. I want a picture of Jessie on the wall, not the stare she gives the camera. So no photos.
At graduation in May, Dad and I were trying to figure out how to get a good photo of Jessie. We kept taking the shot, then a second after the camera clicks, she relaxed her face and we were frustrated that we kept missing it. My mother said: "Why don't you put it on the sports setting?" And we both stared at each other wondering why we were being so stupid. On the sports setting it will take shot after shot as long as you are holding down the button (or it has to catch its breath). This way we could catch that 'after' look - the normal Jessie.
We got some good shots (thanks mom).
Today, I grabbed the camera and decided to have a conversation with Jessie all the while shooting my camera and see what I got. Of course I didn't think of the 'backdrop' (I don't do people) and the lighting was crap - but I was determined. Neither of us have had the patience before now (since May).
I took 473 photos and in there ... I found my Jessie!
She is beautiful.
11 comments:
You are right - she is beautiful. I love all of them. I'm glad you found a way to capture "your Jessie" on camera.
I love the last photo. It reminds me of what I remember about her... Her infectious love, spunk, and zest for life. What a gem!
Don't you love those "Why didn't I think of that?" moments? I'm with Rhonda: that last one takes the cake!
oh i love that girl...could barely see the photos for all the tears in my eyes. i know what you are saying about photos...its not the same thing but i am very picky when it comes to photos of harris. i want everyone to see what i see and so many photos dont capture what i see, they seem to capture the stigma of what a disabled child looks like to the world and i hate that. n e way...thanks for sharing.
p.s. i love jessie's hands.
I love how she has the one hand in her pocket - too precious! This post made me miss her hugs. She is beautiful!
What great pictures - it's been a long time since I've seen Jessie but I have such fond memories of her! She's all grown up!
Gosh, I'm such a sap! The last picture made me all teary. She looks happy and fun and just like herself.
Thanks so much for sharing. I especially love that last picture. Who knows when we will see her again?
You got a special girl there Lori. Thanks for giving me a chance to see her as you do, relaxed, and happy, with a hint of coy or bashfulness, I'm not sure which. Take care.
jessie looks fantastic! check her out with her new glasses!
and i love her mannerisms...placing her hand on her face...leaning her head back to laugh...turning her face to the camera...you do have a beautiful girl Lori.
this christmas when we go see the lights at RSS, i'll be extra happy because i know jessie will have contributed to the beauty of the season.
You know, I don't think it is strange to not put up pictures of a child that doesn't look like your child. Technology is amazing. Thank you.
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