I Swallowed a Bug ...

Sort of a rocky start here in Utah.

Got on the plane SO PROUD OF MYSELF for remembering that-thing-that-I-knew-I-was-forgetting-but-couldn't-remember-what-it-was before I left the house!

MY MEDICINE!!!


Dudes! You DO NOT want to see me without my morphine-ER (extended release), my morphine-IR (immediate release) and my muscle relaxants.

IT IS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT ...

Why, why, why do I forget the WEIRDEST things when I go on trips ... like my underwear on this very trip last year (Peterson Family Reunion in Oregon)?


Simple.



I blame Gary.



No, not just for fun, but he has cursed my packing skills. Seriously! Every time we go somewhere and I am worried that I forgot something, Gary says, AND I QUOTE:

"You're OK, you can always buy what ever you forgot when we get there."


That's when some evil troll that lives in my subconscious goes to work. Maniacally rubbing his hands together (yeah, it's a guy - I DON'T KNOW WHY ... his name is Harry) and chuckling to himself and goes about proving to Gary that this is NOT TRUE!


If there is something that I need on a trip THAT I CANNOT BUY WHEN WE GET THERE - it is a guarantee - THAT'S the thing I left home.


I really ought to make up generic packing list on my computer and put on it all the things that I can't 'just buy when we get there' and use that as a starting list every time I travel.


But - NO WORRIES!!! My meds are safely ensconced in my backpack even as I type, so I am good. Dodged that one!

Things were going smoothly - got on the plane and started playing with some photo editing / altering apps that I had, plus a few (OK a dozen) that I downloaded last night at two in the morning knowing that I would want to play with my iPad on the flight. I had previously downloaded all 1500'ish photos from Adobe Lightroom that I had marked 'favorite' so that my iPad now has every favorite photo that I own. That and a grundle of apps was just heaven for three hours!

All of a sudden we hit the ground ... a bit hard ... and when you don't know that you are actually that close to landing because you are in an aisle seat, it is rather jolting! Got out and I waited for the bags while Gary went to get the rental car.

And as I waited, and waited and waited ... I started wondering ... did we bring the GPS system? It was in Gary's truck and he didn't get it out after we parked in long term parking. Hmmmm - I was hoping that he had packed it the night before when he had packed his bags, but it was not looking good.

And who wants to think, plan and have to read maps when that lovely British lady will just tell you what to do?

Gary finally got through his line (weird - we are talking after 11:00 pm - but still so busy) and rented the car and things were not looking good on my end, when all of a sudden, there was an announcement that there was a baggage carousel change for the passengers arriving from Houston. Instead of being on carousel 3 as was posted, they said it had been changed to carousel 1.

I headed over there and, well - lets just say it was not a CHANGE per se, it was a mistake! There were bags EVERYWHERE! Piled on the sides, three deep on the carousel itself and that is where they sat, with the carousel stopped because the suitcases coming off had no where to go (because we were all looking for them somewhere else ...) so it jammed. So someone put them on the wrong carousel and it took them quite some time to figure it out and let us know ... change indeed!

I finally located both our bags in a pile of piled up bags, unburied them, and headed outside to link up with Gary.

It was going to be easier for me to go to him with the rental car, than for him to circle the airport to get me, so I headed off ... in the wrong direction. I figured it out after a bit, turned around and told Gary I was coming, but that it would take a bit longer. (He could not come get me without leaving the airport first since they were one way roads) He said he thought he could cross the road and be right at the very end of 'Passenger Pickup' without circling, so there he was.

I was huffing and puffing my way down to him when, suddenly he was right by me grabbing one of my bags! We headed off. I was breathing heavily through my mouth when suddenly, a huge bug got sucked in and smashed against the back of my throat! Seriously NOT A GOOD FEELING. Not at all.

I was freaking out, gagging, coughing and spitting on the sidewalk trying to dislodge it as Gary looked on thinking I was possessed. I even tried to dig it out with my finger, but no go - and so I swallowed it!


Ugh!



We continue to trudge along ... come to think of it, I believe Gary was a bit ahead of me. I think it had something to do with trying to not be associated with the lady spitting on the sidewalk somehow ...

When he noticed that security was at his rental car! Ooops! He sped up and met them there a little after some stern announcement about the owners of the xxx yyy zzz car (I am so beat, I don't know what make of car, what model of car or even what color of car we rented) please come move your car or it will be towed. Lovely. We were now in trouble with airport security.

Security was gone by the time I made it to the car, and we headed off with Gary HATING, LOATHING and downright DESPISING the car. He didn't fit, our seat belts, for some reason are twisted. Do you know how freaking annoying it is to have your seat belt twisted? OK, do you know how freaking annoying it is to have your seat belt twisted at 11:30 at night after a trip to the airport, a flight, a wait for bags and a security close call? Seriously was bugging us.

Got the car fitting Gary a little better as we drove the 20 minutes to our hotel, checked in, with Gary purchasing unlimited Internet access for an additional $3.00, so the first thing I did was set up my little station:

Gary was on his iPhone looking for GPS devices (mine is old, and I loathe it since it does not have a QWERTY keyboard so I cannot ever find the blinking letter I want - thus the PERFECT opportunity for a new one). His screen was too small to see properly while shopping, so I shared:

Now here it is ... 2:30am Houston time ... THANK HEAVENS! That only makes it 1:30am in my time zone! Not too bad for me and my bed time ...

Tomorrow we are getting up bright and early? Not sure, but I better wrap up my rambling and get to bed ... We head straight up I15 for some time. With the traditional stop at Smith & Edwards and a not-so-traditional stop at either Best Buy or Wal-Mart for the GPS device Gary wants to get. So, NEXT time I blog I will be at our cabin in Island Park, I lied in my last post ...


So ... other than:


- SWALLOWING A BUG


- Having to listen to my husband sing the song:

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly
I don't know why she swallowed a fly -
I think she'll die!

(with a few verses he made up on his own ...)

Over, and over, and OVER!

and

- forgetting our GPS device

Things aren't so bad!


And contrary to Gary's song,


I'm pretty sure I am going to live through the night ...

When Did It Get So Complicated?

Gary and I are headed to Island Park today for family reunions on both sides of our families. First my family is all getting together, we pick somewhere each year and everyone tries to make it. As my sister is moving to Hawaii in a few weeks, she might not make it - but ... no worries: 1) I have four sisters - what's one? And 2) this sort of helps us decide where to go next year!

Gary was wise enough to give his siblings the dates that we were going to be up in their neck of the woods and mentioned that we would be there - feel free to stop by -which they are going to do!

Island Park, in my 'Big City Lingo' is a 'suburb' of Yellowstone so we will mostly be playing there, well, mostly we will be taking pictures everywhere we can find that is pretty - which is pretty much everywhere up there.

Yes.


Me.


Family Reunions.


TWO OF THEM.


I haven't wigged out yet, but I am assuming that is just waiting until I have an audience. But does explain why, when we are flying out today and Gary is all packed that I have just barely made it through what cameras, electronics and their attachments I am taking. I now need a nap.

If I had the time, I would, but I probably have to take clothes and shampoo and crap like that so I really should get my act together, or at least CONVINCE MY BRAIN THAT I AM GOING ON A TRIP. I am in denial. Probably Family Reunion Denial.

Why? Well, for one I have to try to be on my best behavior which is easier around some than others, but mostly because I am coming off of / still in a sick phase and I am LIVID that I feel so crappy. So it will be the same old, same old: 'Oh, Lori doesn't feel good, she will be laying down while we go ... where ever'. I'm tired of it, the families have GOT to be convinced that I am the biggest hypochondriac in the universe, and most of all I am mad that I feel so crappy - because being mad about it HELP SO MUCH ...

So - my electronics - since my brain feels like it is made out of papier-mâché paste, I had to lay everything out and make sure I had cases, charger, syncing cords, etc. And, oh my, when did I get to the point where I absolutely could not travel with less than this:

I know, it is a small photo to try to fit everything in, but there are about 5 cameras, cases and chargers. A kindle and its case, charger. An iPad, it's case and charger plus a car charger ... you know, just in case. An iTouch, it's case and luckily it shares a charger with the iPad. My phone and it's charger. My laptop, mouse, cords, external hard drive, universal card reader and headphones thrown in just in case I need them.

I am exhausted! I know I need to get clothes and toiletries and whatnot (call me and tell me what big thing I am missing, please - there is something ... like underwear - but that is in the category of clothes and will probably remember to take them. I just have a feeling that there is to pack: electronics, clothes, toiletries and WHAT?!? I feel there is something big - please let me know, oh, say in the next three hours if you know what it is ... thanks).

Packing be damned, I am off to bed for a minute and see if I can get my brain screwed on straight. And maybe make a list of stuff to pack to justify it.

Unless there is some big burning post that is burning a hole in my brain (LIKE I AM GOING TO HAVE THE TIME TO BLOG ...) you will hear from me next from Idaho. We have wireless in the room, but the lady at reception says its not so great - so don't know what I will be able to do ...

Later ...

FAIL!!!

Haircut Fail:

Thank heavens ... it's just the dog.

We waited too long and her hair got matted so they had to shave her. I think she is a wee bit embarassed about it.

But that didn't stop me from making her pose and take photos:

Thing is, I promised her a treat if she would be good ... AS IF she really understood any of that sentence except for 'TREAT'. She got a bit antsy and then a bit barkie:

Which to leads us to our second part of tonights 'Fail' theme:

Photography Fail!

I decided that since she was being a pill, I would get a few photos of her jumping her head off - and so I would yell "Jump!" and she would, but would run towards me first trying to sort of jump and smack into me at the same time.

I tried, and tried and tried, but .... nope:

When Gary came home, I decided I wanted one of her jumping so I asked her as they were going out to play 'Frisbee' and they were not going to be patient with me. We told her to jump and ...

Total failure shooting the dog today ...

Round and Round and Round We Go ...

Jessie's Chauffeur Service, one of the perks with Jessie living where she does, is great. For anyone that is not familiar with this - Jessie would pitch the most horrendous fits when it was time to take her back to 'her place' and we couldn't get her in the car. With them coming and picking her up - not a complaint to be heard! When it works, it works great!


'When it works' being the operative word(s) here.


Today, well ... not working so well.


They were going to come and pick her up at 4:30 and a bit before that I got a call from the aid currently on staff at Jessie' house. She said that her car had a flat tire. I told her 'no problem' and that I would take her home.

I didn't know how ugly it was going to get, especially since she had been asking me when the aid was coming, so I TOTALLY LIED to my daughter and said:

"Jessie, come on, your aid got a flat tire and we need to go find her!"

Jessie was excited for the adventure and after the normal 10 minutes of what-in-the-world-takes-you-so-freaking-long-to-just-walk-out-the-door - we were off! No screaming, no tears, just a happy camper (finally) getting in the car.

OK, I lied - but HOW CLEVER WAS I? Keeping up on the farce, I told Jessie to keep a look out for her. She diligently checked the cars out as we headed for her place. It takes about 15 - 20 minutes to get to her house.

Feeling a tad guilty, but not so much, as we neared her place I told her that she probably got herself home by now so we would just go to 'Jessie's House'. She could stop looking for her. She was cool with that.

See how that worked out? I lied, but I got her in the car painlessly and that is saying A LOT.

Pulled into her driveway and NOW Jessie starts to pitch a fit with some fake crying and these ... not 'blood curdling' screams ... I don't know how to describe them.

Hmmmm ....


Let me try:

If you took the annoying sound of fingernails scratching a chalkboard and put a couple of zeros at the end of the decibel number of that sound, threw in the pain if hitting your thumb with a hammer, added the very strong stench of sulfur, plus tossed some sand in your eyes, added Gilbert Gottfried saying pretty much ANYTHING AT ALL ... really loud, tossed some alcohol on an open wound ... and just for giggles - added just a touch of heavy metal music ...


... IT WOULDN'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO HOW FREAKING ANNOYING HER FAKE SCREAMING IS.

This is no lie, but since she only does it for Gary and I y'all will think I'm exaggerating.

I. AM. NOT.

I slam the door shut and it softens the sound of her screaming since she is refusing to get out of the car and walk up to the door and ring the bell to get the aid to help me drag her from my car.

And I wait.

Knock on the door.

And I wait.

Knocked harder on the door.

My phone rings.

It is Gary. He tells me that the aid had called back and was stuck and needed a ride back to their house and had assumed that I would pick her up. Which was FINE with me.

HAD SHE ASKED ME THAT ON THE PHONE AND TOLD ME WHERE SHE WAS ...

Gary proceeds to tell me that she is at the grocery store ... not more than 3 minutes from our house.

OK.

YES.

I KNOW.


I am being punished for lying.


Got back in the car and told Jessie that we were going to go pick up her aid.

Then DROVE ALL THE WAY BACK TO (almost) MY HOUSE. And told Jessie to start looking ... for real this time.

Picked her up, along with Jessie's room mate then turned around and headed back to Jessie's house.

I am tired, I want to lay down and read a book, and I sigh as I picture doing JUST THAT as we get a few minutes away from their house. I mean I audibly sighed ....

Then:

Aid: "Um, Ma'am?"

Lori: "Yes?"

Aid: "I left the keys to the house in my car."

Lori: "Excuse me?"

Aid: "I just realized the keys are not in my pocket, they are in the divider between the front seats of my car."

Lori: "Um, OKaaaaaaay"

And, dejectedly, I TURN AROUND the car and head back.

Twenty minutes later we are back to her car. She gets her keys and we are off!


AGAIN!


Twenty minutes later, we are back to 'Jessie's House', with me, somehow during that 20 minute driving session getting roped into having Jessie AND her roommate over in two weeks (we will be in Idaho next Sunday), promised to call her roommate's mother after she INSISTED I write down her home number ... don't really know the point to that one, and somehow put off answering the question of when our family and her family were going to have a get together AT MY HOUSE? She was rather persistent.

Turned around and headed for my home ... and a mere twenty minutes later - I WAS HOME!

OK, kids, what is the lesson I learned today?

Not to lie to Jessie? (I really don't lie to her all that often)

HECK, NO! When it is time to get Jessie in the car - I switch into some sort of survival mode and will do anything - legal or not - to get her in the car without bloodshed.

No - what did I learn?

I need make a note to call Jessie's weekend aid and tell her that contrary to popular belief,

no,

I am not omniscient ....



Toodles .... my bed and my book are calling ...

Sunrise .... Sunset ....

So ... yesterday was rather unusual day for me for a few reasons. One: I had to actually get up before noon (NOT that I stay in bed until noon ... er ... all that often ...) and go to a doctors appointment. I actually watched THE SUN RISE!

And what's a girl to do, driving on the freeway at 70 miles per hour with a lovely sunrise right in front of her?


Mocking her?


EXACTLY! Steer with one hand, rummage around in your purse, find your camera, take it out of its case, turn it on, set the setting to 'sunset', set the distance, point it in the right direction, and start snapping away!


Simple as pie ...


'Simple as pie'? That just wandered out of a darkened, web filled corner of my brain. I don't even know if it a real saying ...



... but - since I don't believe it is all that easy to whip out a pie, this is pretty apropos! So the second unusual thing for me for the day was I was actually taking photographs! Risking life and limb for that perfect sunrise photograph.


And it wasn't even seven am yet!


Go Lori!


Got to the doctor, went through the usual pain protocol procedure, but with an exciting addition to the appointment in the way of a random drug test. Let's face it ... I am a junkie. More to the point: I am HER (my docs) junkie, so I guess she feels the need to check up periodically and make sure that you are ...

Taking only the pain meds prescribed for you.
Taking the pain meds as prescribed for you.

Also an unusual situation for me. I guess their office is one place where it is a given that you are going to 'fail' the test! It had been years since my last random test, and I have been good girl, so no biggie ...

Went to the pharmacy and the bank, which I decided was enough for the day to check off the box labeled 'Be Useful' for the day and headed for home. Got home and then commenced to start playing with my photos - and seriously - I am NOT exaggerating here by any means - I didn't stop Photoshopping my brains out for over 24 hours ... more like 36 hours - but it is a long story and this post is already defined as 'Epic' based on the number of photos I uploaded, so I really should shut up and get on with it ...


I cannot stress enough how much fun I can have with Photoshop and the Plug-Ins that I have purchased to go with it. My love affair with the magical 'Content Aware Fill' command has not waned even a little bit in the months since discovering it in CS5.

Took this photo - about the only one that was acceptable in that set of photos - since at this point in my risky, rushing, reckless photo shoot - to actually photograph the sunrise - I had to aim the camera over my left shoulder pointing it a bit behind me, which forced me in an uncomfortable, awkward twist. Needless to say - it was slim pickins to find a halfway decent photo. This one is full of signs and fences and power lines and cars and roads and stuff that I would rather do with out:

So, I take a deep breath, pick up my magic wand - cleverly disguised as a Sanford Black Uniball Micro Pen - and wave it at my monitors ... complete with the lucky magic flourish at the end. I outline an offending item in my photo and left-click my mouse a total of three, yes count 'em ... THREE - times and watch as the nasty post, or car, or sign magically disappears from my photo and in its place (more often than not) is EXACTLY what should be there ... namely what ever was hiding behind the post, or the car, or the sign. How a computer program and a machine can see through a sign in my photo, and replace it with the proper part of the sunrise, the proper part of the fence and the proper part of the shrubbery is something that I find - in equal parts - both creepy and fascinating all at the same time ...

Repeat from the beginning ... the wand waving, the magical lucky flourishing, and the chanting of spells disguised as muttering are optional at this point - the power of the Magical Content Aware Fill is not to be abused. Do this as many times as you have items to send to the Land-Of-Ugly-Unwanted-And-Spurious-Items.


And ... voilá!


You are left with the photo you would have taken if given the chance ... or if you had lived in the 1800's ...
Played around with it, cropped it to get rid of excess non-sunrise stuff and called it done.

If it looks weird, it is because I gave it a bevel and a background to make it look like one of my canvas photos hanging on the wall, but I didn't really leave enough of the 'wall' to see what I was doing ...

Of course, I could have grabbed a texture file and made the photo look like canvas also, but you can only squeeze so much in 36 hours of Photoshopping ... (y'all would not be able to see that level of detail anyway):
Cropped it some more to bring the sunrise closer:
Then I was just playing:
A lovely sunrise photo taken while speeding down the freeway - not the smartest thing I do ... *coughs* often ...
And, the next photo - is in honor of my monthly trip to the doctor being:

"The Ugliest Drive in the Entire State of Texas"

Seriously - there should be some sort of plaque's or very large signs on this Tollway announcing their claim to fame. Hey - infamous is still famous ...

I deserve a medal for driving it monthly and not being suicidal ... How commuters aren't always pumped and primed to fling themselves off the next overpass is beyond me ...

... or, maybe they are always 'at the ready'?


Hmmm.



So, I TRIED to salvage the ugly, but it's tough. Ugly is just plain ugly:

So ... that was my sunrise!

Lovely, no?

And a pleasant surprise for me.

As I said earlier, I was off and running with my photos in Photoshop when the next thing I know it is evening and Gary is walking in from the garage telling me that I should go take a look at the sky.

"Too busy" I muttered with a glazed look in my eye and my fingers flying on the keyboard.


He insisted.


I snapped out of my Photoshop stupor and decided if he was insisting and everything, maybe I would take a camera along ...


And what a pretty sky we had! It must have been something in the air ...





Ha!






Get it?






Air?






Sky?






Never mind ...



It was getting dark and I wanted to take the photos with my 'sunset' camera setting and no flash, so I should have grabbed a tri-pod, but I am lazy and the moment would have passed before I got it all set up. I just locked my arms tight to the sides of my body and took a ton of shots hoping a few would turn out crisp and clear.

Went back inside, downloaded my photos, and was pleasantly surprised to find a few that turned out. So I had yet more photos which I could make look weird and vile with Photoshop and my graphics:

This little guy was what my wonderful, good buddy old cameras 'sunset' setting was plonking out for me:
I saw it had potential for masking. Since the photos delineation between lights and darks was so clear, it makes it a no-brainer to separate the top from the bottom. So ... I decided to brush up on my 'masking techniques'. I have no desperate need to do this ... but, hey, you never know when you might be caught in a 'life or death' situation where the sky of a photo needs to be swapped out for another one ...

A few tricks later, I had the sky masked out:
And a 'Top Mask' created to use with the photo. This lets me replace the sky with anything I want ... sunny blue skies, cloudy skies, maybe a moon shot since the bottom of the photo is pretty dark. I can lighten it up to a point, but beyond that, it would just look weird.
And then there is the bottom masked out:
And a 'bottom mask' is created:
Put them both on top of the photo and IN THEORY the entire photo should be masked out, but since this is Photoshop slaving away trying to figure it out for me so I don't have to even think about it - things get overlooked.

This is the reason we have a glowing crack between the two masks:
So ... using the same techniques to grab the sky, or the dark houses to isolate them and make a mask - I selected the glowing section and made an edge mask:

Now I can (and did) append this edge mask to both the top and bottom masks so that the glowing line is not there when you go to mask the photo.

I went with 'Moon Scapes' since I could lighten my backyard by quite a bit, but you still could tell it was night:
Then I got fancy and made MOONBEAMS!

The sheer awesomeness of playing with moonbeams was an experience! But, then again, it could be some bizarre form of sleep deprivation craziness instead ...



But,

but,



MOONBEAMS!!!

The power! Bestowing beams of light to my backyard! Just like Mother Nature herself!

The sparkly-ness!

And the twinkly-ness!

The glittery, gleaming, streaking, streaming rays of light!



*dreamy sigh*

The glowy-ness!


The 'Urban Dictionary' online defines 'glowy' as:

"The warm, bubbly feeling you get inside when you're happy about something. It generally gives you a constant, content, small smile on your lips."


I ask you, who can go wrong with MOONBEAMS?

Moonbeams make me happy ...




Hmmm, well, OK - I just might be a wee bit tired and my senses are ...



what?


Maybe a bit .... off?



'Cause, I SWEAR if I just so happened to give birth to a baby RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND ... girl or boy ... I would SO name it him/her 'Moonbeam' ...


OK ...





I'm thinking this might be weird even for me ...



Über-weird ...



so maybe I should stop typing before things get ...



well,



what is the word for 'weirder than über-weird'?




In Norwegian it would probably be Kjempe-weird ... or, more accurately: Kjempe-merkelig ...




... but I digress. Must stop before I slip into that what-ever-the-word-for-'weirder-than-über-weird'-is state ...





On second thought - I believe that ship has already sailed ...

Playing around with a Plug-In that does normal stuff, but when abused, will alter photos to something that magically thrusts trolls, fairies, elves and leprechauns into the photo of my backyard, along with various woodland creatures - playing a vigorous game of 'Kick the Can'.



Tell me you don't see them:
Yeah, yeah,


I know what y'all are thinking:

"I'd be curious to see the results of her random drug test ..."




Night all ...

Covetous ...

Gary's two year contract with our wireless phone company has been up for a while, which means he could get a new phone at a discounted rate (if he, again, signed a two year plan. We have been happy with them so this does not bother us). He really hasn't said much about it, until last week when he seemed to get a bee in his bonnet about a new phone ...

OH.


Wait ...


Actually, I believe I remember now that we were having a conversation about how high our wireless phone bill was and wondered if there were new plans that had come out since we got home from Norway that would fit us better. This led to me mentioning that I had been meaning to call for AGES about this very thing, which led to me promising to call and wrote it on a post-it and stuck it on one of my computer screens (a GUARANTEE that it would happen) which led to me actually calling, which led to a discussion with the Customer Service Lady that the wireless phone company had changed their billing rates and plans THAT EXACT DAY that I was calling. Here was the kicker - they were completely dropping their unlimited data plan - EXACTLY what I wanted to add for Gary. I was bummed to say the least. She told me that my unlimited plan would stay in place, just no new ones would be set up.

*Sigh*


Then the (wonderful)Customer Service Lady said that sometimes the old plans floated around in the computer ether for a few days when the new plans started up and you could still get them. She said she would try to set him up with the old unlimited data plan (by the way the old unlimited plan was CHEAPER than their new, smallest limited plan - naughty, naughty wireless phone company ...)and whaddaya know?

IT WORKED!

Hence - the immediate need for a phone that he could easily surf the web, download videos, peruse You Tube - all that 'data hogging' stuff so he could celebrate that he was on an unlimited data plan. So that evening I got back on the phone and ordered him a 32Gig iPhone - because apparently he was paralyzed from the neck up ...

I got a wee tingle of jealousy while ordering it and asked the new Customer Service Dude how much it would cost me to get one right then instead of waiting until February of next year when my two year plan was up? Since it was about three times the cost of the one Gary was getting, I decided I could wait. I really don't mind my BlackBerry at all.

It came today and he has been playing with it for the last two hours ...

- Installing his apps.

- Getting the scriptures put on there since that was a main reason he wanted to get it - no more lugging his iPad to church.

- Watching Netflix movies.

- Playing music.

And, well, YEAH!


I WANT ONE!!!


It is way cool! I believe he will be very happy with it.

I wanted to take some photos of it for this post, and was OK with the main screen and the cute little apps icons, but Gary insisted on grabbing a photo. He seemed to be on an Australian Theme (or the only photos he has on his 'iThings' are Australian photos - which is probably the answer):

I shall have the last laugh, though, and even Gary knows it.

He got an iPad before me and I coveted it enormously!

RIGHT UNTIL THE UPGRADE CAME OUT.

And THEN I got a cooler, faster, slimmer, lighter iPad! See how this works? I am not necessarily the first person in the house to go out and grab the latest and greatest technology ...

So, I will hunker down, and wait until February and by then they will surely come out with something spectacular!

It's a good plan ...

Keeping My Fingers Crossed ...

I believe ... being the kidney stone expert that I am ... that I passed my other kidney stone yesterday. OK, it might be stuck since today I feel like the day after I passed the one in my left kidney - mainly like a wet dishrag - but with quite a lot more residual pain back there ...

So - here's hoping I passed it and I am just being extremely wimpy today AND that this does not become a habit for my kidneys.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gary finished the chairs and they are dry now - so here is a REAL photo of the finished chair - my fake one was pretty close!

Now What?

I'm in trouble ...

I know, I know - you are wondering ...


... is it that right kidney stone?


... is it a new infection?


... has her computer broken?


... has she 'crashed' and now laid up in bed?


... did her orchid die?


... did Charlie run away from home?


OK, most days I'm sort of hoping for the latter ...


But, no. You would be oh so wrong if you picked something about ME.

You see, this afternoon my hubbie wandered into the room-that-should-be-a-dining-room-but-we-have-couches-in-it-so-I-don't-know-what-to-call-it-room and plonked down these two beauties:

Lovely aren't they? Even the backs are pretty ... And I am oh-so-happy that this little 'wing' thingy was structural so that he could not do away with it. There was the EXACT cute little 'wing' thingies at the sides on the top of the dresser in the photo he was basing his dresser off of, and he left them off. I was sad. I personally thought they were adorable. So now I have my wings: Here's the thing ...

I was laying in bed the other evening reading my Kindle and overheard a conversation between Gary and Ryan. Hmmm, am I sure I got the words right? The bedroom is sort of tucked in there ... Oh, yes, I could hear since Gary was downstairs and Ryan was upstairs and they were having to shout to hear each other.
Gary steps into the house from the garage - covered with sawdust, a little smile on his face and just a wee bit of crazy in his eyes (yes, I CAN see this from my bedroom ...)

Gary: 'Ryan, will you look ONE MORE TIME for a bed that you like that I can build?'

Ryan: 'You shoot down all my ideas, I don't know what to do about that.'

Gary: 'For one thing, DON'T start by browsing the IKEA website! I WILL NOT BUILD SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE IT CAME FROM IKEA!'

Ryan: 'Dude ... so what is the big deal? Why so desperate sounding?'

Gary: 'Because I am going to finish the chairs soon and really don't have anything to move on to. It is my therapy and keeps me from the 'ledge'. I am pretty sure things won't be pretty. I will start beating the dog and your mother. Stuff like that. And IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT.'

Lori: 'Um .... Hey ...'

Ryan: 'But I like IKEA's designs.'

Gary: 'I will kill myself before I build something that looks like IKEA. Really, try again and see if you can find something, before I start playing with knives.'

Ryan: 'Um,OKaaaaaay ....'

Gary stomps back into the garage.

Alright, alright - I was paraphrasing, because I don't have a perfect recall, BUT the discussion about the crazy and the beatings I DO remember.

I am thinking that things could get a little ... 'interesting' around here in the next few months ...


And because I couldn't stop playing in Photoshop: Here is our chair from a photo I took of it out in the garage before it was finished. Since we cannot put the cushion in until tomorrow, I improvised a 'final photo'. This was taken before the finish was put on just to check that the cushioned seat fit fine. So I took out the background, gave it a finish, and dumped it on fancy paper.

Therefore I can show you one of our new chairs: Wish me luck ...

Pretty Things ...

My marvelous, kind, beautiful, wonderful friend Linda gave me an orchid for my birthday. If you happen to recall, I was sort of kind of in a 'walking coma' ('waking coma'? 'wandering coma'? 'idiotic coma'?) around'ish my birthday for about 3 weeks.

And, as all those in comas are wont to do - I did nothing ...



... seriously



...absolutely nothing.

OK, maybe I breathed a little bit. But 'Worthless Lump of Flesh' was a perfect description for me at the time. Thus - no photo's of the lovely little guy and severe neglect of him on my part. Poor darling ....

Once I woke up, wanted to live again and was out of bed, I decided that maybe I would water the sad little puppy and see how things went. But, if things were to go as they ALWAYS went when it came to me and orchids, well - lets just say it wasn't going to be pretty.

Orchids and I have a very strained, adversarial relationship. I really don't know why this is, or who started it, but whenever I have an orchid, I get to enjoy it for about EXACTLY one week then all the blossoms fall off and no matter how much I baby it, no new blossoms appear - ever. And, let me tell you - I LOVE orchids (in that Love / Hate way ...) and have had many, many come live with me.

In fact, I thought that all the blossoms falling off, then living with a curvy stick and funky-piled-up-low-to-the-ground (pot) leaves was what you had for the rest of its natural life. Then, one day Linda told me that an orchid that I had given her had all the blossoms fall off, then blossomed all over again .... just like that.


Hmmmm...



Weird.


So ... back to my gift. I received it on May 24th and the guy is HAPPY!! That was 45 days ago! Over SIX WEEKS! And isn't he just the prettiest little thing you have ever seen?

I'm rethinking my 'orchid care regimen' ... maybe babying them is not the thing to do.

The next one I get I am going to ignore it, neglect it, not water it until it begs and begs and just generally abuse it.

Probably yell at it and stuff.

I think it just might work ...

And for y'alls out there that didn't see this on my post at Facebook - we had the prettiest sunset a couple of days ago:

S0 - stunning ... I know - but I am taking photographs again. Just a few, but I might just get there ...

The Chocolate Bar

As promised, I bring you ...

THE CHOCOLATE BAR!!

This is not just ANY chocolate bar. No. This is THE chocolate bar.

As in capitalized: The Chocolate Bar.

It is a place.

With a logo and everything:

It is only in Houston.

It is totally bizarre and beyond words (thus the bazillion photos to follow ...).

I am not sure if there is any thing like it in the entire world.

I think Willy Wonka lives there.

I had no idea it existed until two weeks ago.

It has been featured on The Food Network. Thus the reason I know about it. Apparently my brother-in-law saw a special about it on The Food Network and really wanted to go see it.

Seriously ... who watches The Food Network?

I guess everybody except me since when he started discussing it, Ryan and Ale piped up and said they had seen the same special and would like to see it too. So after heading to the George R. Brown Convention Center for my brother-in-law to register, we turned around and headed for home, with a stop at The Rice Village in search of The Chocolate Bar.

Before I inundate you with photos, a weird side note. We went in and were amazed, but we were hungry and decided that being in a candy store starving was not the best idea in the world, so we decided to go get lunch and then come back to take photos and shop. We were discussing where to eat when Steve, my brother-in-law, said he had asked the guy working there where was a good place to eat and he pointed out a place that he said people came from all over to eat at. We decided that was a good enough endorsement and left the store. Steve pointed the restaurant out for us.

What?

It was Jason's Deli.

Jason's Deli? Sure the food is good, but there is one near our house and we eat there every now and then. They have to-die-for broccoli cheese soup and the best Muffuletta you will find anywhere. (A muffuletta is a New Orleans sandwich made with Sicilian bread with an marinated olive salad and layers of meats - it is huge. You only make the mistake of getting a whole one once - I usually get 1/4th a sandwich - and the fact that they sell a fourth of a sandwich should tell you something ...)

We were confused. It was as if he had said that people come from far and wide to go to McDonald's across the street to eat. Those that live in the Houston area, I am assuming know the restaurant. I guess it is not everywhere as we thought it was.

Go figure.

We ate lunch then crossed back over the street to The Chocolate Bar.

The 'main' area:

Here is a bizarre little nook that contains every candy from your childhood that you can think of. It was weird and a trip down memory lane. They even had candy cigarettes - a DESPICABLE candy! I can't believe they are still being made.

Then I just began to wander and take photos of the grundle of chocolate products for sale.

Jen - here is your 'chocolate bar':

Everything looked perfect - especially the berries:
Tasty:
More perfect berries:

More lovely chocolate:
Pretty, pretty little chocolates:

And then ...


... I saw these. Being full of lunch, I wanted to barf! Seriously - who dips twinkies in chocolate? It's like chocolate and ....


... dirt.

Here are just the prettiest cakes on the planet. And BIG! They are $75.00 a piece, so I didn't get a whole one, but since Fathers Day was the following day, I selected 3 slices of a variety of cakes and we had it for dessert the following day.

The verdict? Not so great. Just tasted like ...


... cake.

And then I just went to town photographing everything that I thought was cute, funny or unique. I realized that was EVERYTHING and I probably wasn't going to be able to photograph every item in the store ... but I made a pretty big dent! I pared it down, but still a bundle of chocolate photos to follow.

Cute little baking set:

Sorry, all my photos have a sheen since the chocolate was all packaged in cellophane (of course ...).

Since we are in Texas:

A chocolate CD! I am assuming this is for adults - come to think of it - who would give any of this to a kid? I just got a flash of what your CD player would look like if your little one decided to listen to it ...

The CUTEST computer:
For the Fireman or arsonist in your life:
Guitar:
A Christmas present for your hairdresser:

I could give this to Gary ... but he doesn't really eat chocolate (I KNOW! He doesn't like strawberries or raspberries either ... something is wrong in his brain):

For the policeman in your life ... or someone really kinky ... Kidding, but - hey - who wouldn't want a pair of chocolate handcuffs? A truly one-of-a-kind gift:

A Piano might be a bit safer:

And, here we are again ...

I mean - WHO wouldn't want a chocolate PMS pill? I sure it works!! Really! Especially since you can't gauge size in this photo - it is about six inches in diameter and thick - a TON of chocolate!

For the TV lover in your life:
For the sharp dresser:
For the shopaholic:
And finally, a set for my type of guy ... the weird non-chocolate-eater:

It was fun! Other than some cinnamon jelly beans and the cake slices, I didn't buy any of this delicious stuff ...


Later I wondered why ...

My friend Bonne called me today. She had seen that I was going to blog about The Chocolate Bar and she had written on her Facebook page a few days ago that she had visited there while waiting for her husband who was having surgery and wanted to know if I had seen her post. I said that I had - and yet again, was the only person in Houston that did not know about this place.

She mentioned the ice cream was divine, and I thought ice cream? Then I remembered, oh yeah - there was a ice cream section I had paid no attention to. She then told me that since she had time to kill and there were no customers she asked the employee a ton of questions. Come to find out, it started out as an ice cream shop. Weird, I would have assumed that it had started out as a chocolate store and just got really, really, REALLY out of control ...


So there you have it:

The Chocolate Bar ... as promised.

*****

ADDENDUM:

Like this post wasn't long enough ...

Some things are much better left forgotten, but Cherri, my sister-in-law reminded me in the comments of one of their purchases at The Chocolate Bar. It was a mix of pretzels and Frito's. Covered in chocolate.


Yes: Frito's



COVERED IN CHOCOLATE.


They could not convince me to try it. It seemed as natural as chocolate covered broccoli. They said at the store that it was a Texas thing - that Frito's were a HUGE deal in Texas.

I did not know that.

Really.

This is news to me. I did not know that I had to be crazy for Frito's to live here ...

Every time they offered a taste to someone and they bravely tried it - they declared that it was tasty - sort of salty and sweet at the same time. And every time I wanted to gag as the smell of Frito's wafted unnaturally through the air ...

Ugh ...