11 July 2012

This Girl Can Be Taught ....


OK - first off, my Doctor's office called me back and said I need to bring the letter in with me since my doctor has TONS of patients with my insurance and has some sort of bulk 'deal' with the laboratory due to volume and the EVER SO LOVELY FACT that they are in the same building, thus just a mere walk down the hall to the "Evil Phlebotomist". They are a bit confused since they have heard nothing of it and it started at the beginning of this month. I am a bit concerned since I have an appointment tomorrow and don't want to drain our bank account by paying 'out of pocket' astronomical lab fees. They said they have another laboratory they also use - and I can use that - they are probably located in Decatur, Georgia or somewhere equally accessible ... because I needed more hassles in my life at this very minute - but truly I am grateful. All day and last evening I was looking for puppies to kick I was so angry - I have calmed down a wee bit and Charlie will actually stay in the room I am in - so I must be behaving myself.

Well, that out of the way - now comes the fun part!!!! A few notes:

1) This is dedicated to Jen since she loves anything and everything gross I put on my blog,  I once titled one of my blog posts "Barfing Photos" but didn't mean that verbatim ... she commented that she couldn't click on it fast enough and was disappointed that I had just piled a ton of photos on my blog and nary a one was of me barfing  - I love her to pieces - but this sort of disturbs me ... but in a GOOD way ....

2) The photos to follow might ... gross you out - I really don't care - I was EXCEPTIONALLY proud of myself for being able to take them!

3) There is really no theme here - I think I just want sympathy that I do not deserve for the huge bruise on my leg from my "oooops I didn't pull back the plunger" session

4) No, your eyes are not 'going'. My legs are not something I care to share on my blog - thus totally disgusting EVEN JEN, so I have blurred them up a bit - so sue me ...

They are pretty much self explanatory so I will just let y'all just ENJOY!!!!








This is my second injection since the Baby Geyser and I have successfully not hit a vein - which is way cool, since it is still rather against my nature to plunge a needle in my leg - and if I pulled back and there was blood in the syringe - I would have to take it out and DO IT OVER AGAIN - or suffer the blood geyser and bruise - right now I am not so sure which I would do when I actually stumble into that situation ....

So ... In closing - life is good - well, in a really shitty sort of way - but I am used to it and I am up and feel good and for that I am eternally grateful. Y'all - DON'T EVER take your health for granted. It is a gift beyond measure and when you lose just a little bit of it, you lose oh, so much more (trips, outings, trips, lunches out with friends, trips, etc).




Just sayin' ....

10 July 2012

And The Hits Just Keep on Coming ....


I had a few things on my platter called "If I worry about this, or even think about this I will spontaneously combust, burn up and dissolve into ash" but since they are not about me, but those I love more than life itself - it is not something that I have blogged about. Against the rules ... my life is an open book, but that does not mean that all involved with me have to have their lives stripped naked on my blog. That one involves testing and waiting makes that spontaneous combustion part seem all the more plausible that if I even dwell on it for a mere moment - so I have been carefully trying to ignore it all.

Then Sunday came and my world sort of tilted precariously and I find myself just hanging on by my fingernails. Familiar territory - but I am a bit rusty - things haven't been this bad for quite some time so my 'coping skills' are a wee bit rusty.

Was SO PROUD of myself for actually getting out of bed today (as opposed to yesterday where I spent most of the day laying in bed watching my ceiling fan blade turn ...) starting laundry, cleaning up a bit and decided that I would attack the pile of mail on my desk that I just couldn't be bothered to open lately. Doing good, girl! Was feeling like although I am heartbroken about a billion things I am still able to function like a normal person just a wee bit.

And then I got to this letter:


Yes, my doctor. The one after going to between 10 and 15 that told me that it was all in my head and scooted me out of their office - took TOTALLY DIFFERENT lab tests that showed that I was in deep shit medically. My T-Cells are very low and we cannot figure out why or how to boost them to something that my immune system would like and be able to keep me healthy. THAT Doctor.

That doctor. The one that is Nationally known for her work with AIDS and CFIDS patients and the remarkable results she is getting.

That doctor. The one that as I sit in the waiting room hear the other patients mention that they flew here from Montana, New Mexico, New York - because they need to see HER.

That doctor. The very first doctor to gently tell me that my chances of recovering fully were nil, but that she would do everything in her power to make my quality of life as good as we could possibly get it.

That doctor. The one that when I asked her to test me for Lyme Disease, seemed surprised, because it is basically unheard of in Texas, but said 'sure' as she has to EVERY SINGLE OTHER REQUEST I HAVE MADE.

That doctor. Basically the only doctor I trust these days ...

As I read further, they were not dropping my doctor per se, they were dropping the laboratory that does all her testing. Hmmmm - great! I can go see her - but since every time I go see her I get between 10 - 20 vials of blood drawn to see how all of the ever so much fun things my body is fighting a losing a battle with (Lyme Disease, Epstein Barr Virus, HHV-6 virus and on and on and on - not to mention that pesky T-Cell level) plus making sure my liver is not having trouble with the bucket load of pills I have to take daily - basically going to her would be going and not having a chance in hell that she could know where I was immune system wise if she could not do any testing.

I have a call into my doctor to see if they use more than one lab (I know they don't but I am rather desperate and in denial - I have seen how much my lab costs are monthly - and it is astronomical). So I will wait for the call that will tell me that I am SOL.


My life is totally FUBAR.



I have a feeling things are going to get really interesting, really quickly ...



and not in that fun, cool way ...

08 July 2012

Never Say Never ...


Sometimes, generally during a calm, quiet time in my life I forget that you never know what is lurking around the next corner ... things can turn on a dime in an instant.

Today started out great! I actually made it HALFWAY THROUGH SUNDAY SCHOOL! For months I have only been physically able to make it to Sacrament Meeting - yes, you may call me 'inactive' ... I don't mind and pretty much agree with you ...

Went home to lay down until Gary brought Jessie home. Then things go from calm and quiet to loud and exciting! Gary wanted to make his ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL Sweet and Sour Chicken for dinner. It makes a mess - but it is well worth it:



Jessie watched Aladdin while eating her dinner:


She wanted to surf on the web after that so I set up my laptop and we 'surfed the web' for a bit. And then she said it: "I want to go back." Okay, things have been fine and wonderful and normal lately and so I was not apprehensive at all.

There were a few annoying missteps, but she and Gary and Charlie headed to the truck. I thought I heard screaming coming from the driveway and started to cringe. Then the truck horn honk and I got out of my chair to go help with whatever situation was occurring.

I will not go into the next half hour / forty five minutes. I just can't. I mean I really, really cannot ... I cannot find the words. We have had some ugly sessions with Jessie - I give you a peek into some of the 'ugly' in the post "Sunday Afternoons at my House".

If you actually go read that - you will notice that I do something I rarely do - I gave you a glimpse into the 'ugly' the 'horrible' the 'awful' experiences of raising a handicapped child. I try to not dwell on those parts - I mean, it really does no one any good - so why bother. But I am sure y'all know that it is not all rainbows and unicorns raising ... well, any child - but sometimes there are some more severe incidents with a mentally handicapped child.

To say that things 'turned on a dime' at that moment is putting it lightly. The ambush was enormous and while my motto basically since 1988 is 'Never Say: It Couldn't Get Worse' sometimes I forget that. But, you see, crazy as it sounds I really do think that I have an evil guardian angel that shows me that "Why, yes, dear - it can ALWAYS be worse" and then goes about showing me just how that is ... Nowdays -  I don't even dare to THINK this phrase ...

To say that we have had some ugly, heartbreaking, violent, disturbing, sad, volatile experiences with Jessie may surprise some (especially if you haven't read the post I link to) but it happens. For a while it was every Sunday and I would barely get my heart put back together and the next thing you know it is Sunday again and it all starts over again.  And after she is gone I am in some dark corner of my mind weeping and wondering how long my heart can take this?  Really?

Today’s session was, what? Like I said - I don't have the words. I decided if I multiplied the absolutely worst experience I have ever had with Jessie (and she had become rather violent towards me a few years ago - thus the moving to a Group Home about a year before we expected to have to start worrying about it) and say it lasted five minutes, because if it is that absolutely ugly - it can only last for a mere moment, right?

Take that - multiply it by somewhere between five and ten and expand it out to thirty or forty five minutes (odd how the concept of time in the middle of an absolutely unreal experience just flies out the window ...) and you have the "Getting-Jessie-In-The-Truck-And-Taking-Her-Home session today. Beyond heartbreaking, beyond horrifying, beyond sad, beyond tears, beyond sane, and sadly, oh - so sadly






beyond hope ...



I have no clue what to do and feel so trapped in a situation that I wish I didn't have to deal with. I cannot really say that I have a tender heart ... it has had to toughen up quite a bit over the years - so to 'break' me as todays experience did - is rather unnerving. I'm just too tired right now to start picking up the pieces and take that first step back to 'normalcy' - whatever the hell that is ...

I am just too tired, too heartbroken, too sad to even start.  And, actually - for once - I am at such a loss I don't even know where to start.



Maybe I will start tomorrow.....





But, then again …





maybe not ....

05 July 2012

To Jessie on her 24th Birthday ...


Jessie,

You turn 24 years old today!

I started this “letter” 5 hours ago and only got that one line typed …


It is odd, really – sometimes the words flow, and sometimes they don’t – but today is your birthday … so they are supposed to flow! I stopped when my mind stumbled across a memory of your Daddy saying something rather disparaging about the letters I write to you and post on my blog. He mentioned that you cannot read them, know that they exist … so, why then do I really write them? To impress my friends / readers? Why?

I got up and walked away from the desk to think on that for a bit. And apparently five hours later I am no closer to being able to write you something special and wonderful and thoughtful on your birthday – but I still have a few things to say … to YOU. My Jessie, nobody else, but since my life is an open book – this will find its way to my blog, of course.

I write you letters because I need to express the tremendous amount of love I have for you. You have no concept of the love I have for you. You have learned to say “I love you, Mom” but still I think that the depths to which someone can love another is a deep, vast well that you have yet to tap.

I write you letters because I know that their are angels in Heaven that whisper in your ear as you sleep and keep you comfortable and not afraid of the dark and happy – and I KNOW that they tell you how much I love you and my letters are delivered. I truly believe that you know what I write – I don’t really know how, but angels feel right to me today – so I will use that until something else becomes a better metaphor.

I love you in a hundred thousand different ways and you have taught me so much!

Two nights ago Daddy was sitting in a chair and I was in bed reading when he blurted out “Twenty Four” and I didn’t understand what he was talking about. He then said “You were working at Morton Thiokol when you were twenty four” comparing where I was at the age you are turning today.

I don’t think I slept that night. My pain was not under control, so I wandered down memory lane that Daddy had brought up. By the time I was twenty four – I had been married for (ahem … don’t tell anyone) five years, I had been out of college for two years and I had worked on a Top Secret project for the Air Force at the Jet Propulsion Lab. I remember that this was during the Cold War and it involved (I might be arrested for divulging this information …) spying. That I am not too concerned about saying that is that if you had a Top Secret security clearance during the Cold War – what the hell else would you be involved in? I mean really?
** Lori graduation from USU - 1984 **

I learned a lot about myself on that project. I learned that I don’t like to be in tall buildings during an earthquake – it gives you a queasy stomach and a surreal feeling and then the panic that you might die kicks in … not fun, not fun at all. I learned that there was danger lurking around every corner – based on what I euphemistically called our monthly “Paranoia Meeting”. This was where they gave you instructions on what to do if your spouse was kidnapped, or you were blackmailed or extorted for information. It was where I memorized phone numbers and how to ‘escape and elude’ capture. It was where I learned that I really, really was not cut out for that kind of work! I was the only female on the project and maybe it is a testosterone thing … the guys seemed to get jazzed after the meetings. I always walked out feeling sick and scared to death for my family and looking over my shoulder for days (But, hey! Now I knew how to look for signs of how to spot a ‘tail’ so it was all good right?)

** Lori In LA - 1985 **

I grew up a lot during that time but was happy when Daddy graduated from Cal Tech with his masters and we both took jobs with Morton Thiokol in Utah. No earthquakes, no evil people lurking around the corner ready to kidnap and torture me to obtain the information in my head. I was happy.

Sadly – the year I turned twenty four was the year of the Challenger Disaster and it was determined that the SRB (Solid Booster Rocket) that Morton Thiokol made was the cause of the explosion – thus I began working on the Shuttle Redesign team. My job was to install all four main frame computers that were coming to support the engineers who were doing the heavy lifting on this project (including your Daddy) and keep them running.

This took weeks and weeks of training in Dallas, Texas and I was gone from home a lot. Just a ‘working woman’ doing her job. On one of these flights to Dallas, the airplane that I was in hit what the captain afterwards called a "pothole" and we were free falling for several seconds. This is a very scary thing to happen! Anyone without their seatbelts on immediately hit the ceiling, and everything not tied down floated about the cabin. When the plane finally leveled out everyone and everything floating about the cabin (I had my seatbelt fastened) crashed back to the floor. I believe it was during these seconds that felt like minutes that I realized that I was mortal and one day was going to die, wondering if that was the day?

It was not – but I grew up a little bit more – not to mention taking years to get over my ‘flying jitters’.

Our life together – while wonderful and very cosmopolitan as we passed each other on our way to the airport, or getting a call from another computer pal saying my husband just totally ambushed the ”A” IBM mainframe computer with his mathematical calculations and all other 500 users were locked out while his computations crunched and locked up the CPU and to call him and tell him to cut it out, was lacking something.

It was not complete – we were a couple, but not a family. I had been told in High School that having children was an iffy proposition for me due to a condition I had so we started all the fun, fun, ever so much fun infertility treatments. Two years after I was twenty four – you arrived in this world!

You must have been very excited to get here as you came weeks early! And suddenly – I was a mother! Something new for me – but sadly it was tainted with fear, sadness and guilt. I never got to hold you after you were born since your APGAR was, I believe a 2 – they whisked you off and Daddy went with. As I lie there on the bed, basically forgotten for a bit I prayed you would be OK – because basically I could do nothing else.

I learned that day that I was not the ‘Superwoman’ that I thought up to that moment that I was. I could not do, nor could I fix anything and everything I wanted to. I had limitations. I had to learn to accept what came at me and that the only choice I had in the matter was how I reacted to the situation that I had found myself in.

Twenty four years later and I have YET to be pleased with the way I have reacted to something that has come my way, having no control over it but my reactions. I guess that I need more practice. A very nice lady the other day on Facebook told me that I “have a genuine sense of humor – grace under pressure, which is a rare and precious quality”. Rare and precious indeed! It is what I have worked for for twenty four years – and I thanked her profusely – telling her it was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. Since it has been so important to me – my reactions to a situation I find myself in – it gave me hope that one day, maybe one day – I will actually believe what she wrote …

So – that is MY life up until my twenty fourth year. Very, different! The differences in our first twenty four years are probably glaringly obvious, but I want to articulate them – if only for myself and remind me how wonderful you are.

I told you that I loved you in a hundred thousand different ways and I would like to point out a few of them.

I love you for the joy you exude. I have never seen another person who can pack more happiness into a minute of the day like you can!


I love watching you get excited about something, it is a gift to see.

I love that you love everyone on this entire planet unconditionally – and have decided that each and every one of them need a hug from you! This experience has taught me more about ‘humanity’ than probably anything else in my life. Watching you, chasing after you, dragging you away from strangers that you are engaging in conversation and attempting to hug over the years taught me that there were basically three types of people in this world.

Since you have no syndrome and we fixed the birth defect on your forehead – you looked like a perfectly normal little girl, so as you approached a stranger – it was not as if a downs child were approaching them – that they could understand and prepare for. You always seemed to surprise and confuse people when you started to act … well – not ‘age appropriate’. As I said – three types of people – basically lumped in a bell curve in terms of numbers. The middle group I call the 'normal' group – would be a little surprised and taken aback by you invading their personal space (before I could rescue them) but were polite, yet relieved when I got them out of the situation. On the left side of the bell curve were those that we won’t spend much time on since it really does no one any good. They were the rude, mean and ugly ones that seemed to enjoy hurting and demeaning others and just being plain vile. If I had not seen and been exposed to the experiences with you that I had – I pretty much would have not believed that there were people in the world that could be so cruel … but sadly they are there. But! On the right side of the bell curve are the people that I believe are angels walking around on earth in disguise. The minute you opened your mouth and started talking – they would get a huge smile on their face, they seemed to love you instantly and when you hugged them THEY HUGGED YOU BACK. This small army of angels keeps my faith in humanity intact – and without you – I never would have been one to see all this.


I love that you worship your Daddy. He is the greatest man on this planet – and you know it! He is kind and gentle and loving with you. Watching him with you and how much better he is with you makes me love him all the more. Your daddy is a great man.


I love that when you bug Ryan – as much as he grumbles and complains – he has never been anything but kind to you. The only times I have seen him react badly to you is when you have tried to physically hurt me – he is very protective of me and that makes me love him all the more. I love that you always ask about him and where he is. He has grown up into a wonderful man with a kindness and gentleness that is rare in a young man his age – I could not be more proud of him if I tried.


I love that you love Charlie! Everyone that knows you gets to hear about Charlie. I love that she brings you such joy! She is fun, isn’t she?

I love that you talk on your ‘finger phone’. I love when you tell me to turn down the radio because you cannot hear the imaginary person you are talking to well enough. I love when your finger phone drops a call and you get frustrated! Your ‘finger phone’ is one of the most fun and hilarious things to watch as you talk to … who? Angels? Friends? Any and all and tell them about your day!

I love that you have some bizarre crush on Arnold Schwarzenegger! You will watch any movie he is in! Disney Princess movies and ‘The Terminator’ – that is my Jessie!

I love that you are getting more aware of when you have crossed the line with me and that you worry if I still love you. You ask and you ask and I always assure you that I do. I hope that one day – my baby girl – you will realize that I will love you, no matter what – forever and ever!

I love that you taught me how to love. To love FIERCELY. Your present came and it happens to be a boom box (wont your group home just love me now …) and some Disney Princess CDs. I opened it up and opened up the CDs to make sure your favorite song was on one or the other and it was! It is from "The Little Mermaid" and is called "Part of Your World". I put it in and as it started to play, tears streamed down my face as it reminded me of a time a few years back when I was on a Disney Cruise with my extended family and Disney said that adult mentally retarded persons were not … well 'allowed' is too firm a word, but they assured me that you would not be able to go and do all the activities that you would want to do with all the other 3 – 6 year olds – thus, basically, you were not invited. I went alone and Daddy stayed home with you and Ryan. It was hard because it was so much of what you love and I wished I could have shared it and experienced it with you.

I went to a show one evening with my family and the girl on the stage started to sing "Part of Your World" and I started to sob! I was very embarrassed and ran out of the auditorium verbally accosting the doormen and then threatening Minnie Mouse. I was a woman out of control – I felt as if I was not in my body, but watching myself from a distance as I totally lost it. I loved my daughter so much and that the people on this ship had said she couldn’t come had enraged me to a point where I was totally out of control. My frustration had morphed into a rage I have never experienced before as I threatened Minnie (we actually knew each other from an encounter earlier and I know that the person under the ‘head’ was just concerned about me – but I could not seem to stop myself) I remember screaming at her to ‘back off or I would toss her over the bannister’ WHAT KIND OF PERSON THREATENS A DISNEY CHARACTER? Running back to my cabin to collect my computer and escape into the night to a dark corner where I would not see any of my family – I wondered where security was during all this? I assumed at some point I would be tackled and wrestled to the ground, then restrained until I apologized to Minnie or something, but no one stopped me – the crazy, sobbing woman running to her room.

I spent that night in a dark corner watching a beautiful light show of lightning and had hours to wonder what the hell got into me? I have never acted like that before or since. And I realized that it was a volatile mixture of love and frustration. I wanted SO BADLY to share that experience with you because I knew that you would have loved it – and I couldn’t. I realized that night that my love for you was rather fierce. I don’t believe I would have actually thrown Minnie over the banister – but I think I was prepared to take the first step! A mama bear – angry that a group of people would decide that her beautiful daughter was not ‘good enough’ for their cruise.

I quickly stopped the song – the one you sing along to so that I wouldn’t be a sobbing mess – and recovered enough to try to start this letter again – and it has become, I believe a wee bit out of hand!

I love that everyone that meets you with an open heart falls in love with you – who wouldn’t? I always smiled that whenever we went anywhere – at some point we would hear a shout: “Jessie!” and someone would come running to give you a hug! I remember being flabbergasted in Disney World in Florida as this happened! We simply cannot take you anywhere without someone who loves you wanting to give you a hug!

I love that the magic of Princesses and Santa Clause and Fairies will always abound in our home. Most families grow out of this ‘magic’ but with you here – magic will always be with us!


I love that you made me a mother. I thought that I was a ‘big shot’ – a female in a male only world. I had the world by the horns and nothing was going to stop me! I am woman … hear me roar! And then you arrived and I realized that all that had previously gone on in my life meant ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I was now entrusted with one of Heavenly Fathers most valiant spirits and it is a task I don’t take lightly.


I know in Heaven you were my superior – you always have been, always will be. I am very honored to know you and that your care has been entrusted to me. I know I fall short … ALL THE TIME. But please know that I have never, never stopped knowing what an important task being your mother is. You are my angel – and to quote a movie because it always makes me smile – You are an angel … but not that kind of angel! You are mine and I love you.


I love that your joy and spirit filled our home when you lived here and I have yet to get used to that ‘Jessie ether’ being gone. We have our Sundays and you have your new life and I know that it is right and good – but sometimes I miss you very, very much.


I basically love you just because you are you – exactly as you are – you are perfect to me.

So you at twenty four and me at twenty four - who had accomplished the most? Made the most out of their life? To me, these days, it all boils down to hope, love, joy and happiness – for yourself and giving it to others. So – my dear baby girl – you win – hands down. No question.

Happy birthday love, see you in a few hours …

Mom

04 July 2012

Confessions of a Reading Addict ....


I have a lot of what I euphemistically call ‘down time’.

Basically because:

A) I am incredibly lazy
B) I am ill more often than I care to admit
C) Pretty much there is no ‘C’ since A and B take up 100% of my time …

When I am confined to bed, my mind tends to wander – as you can imagine. This is no good for someone who needs to keep a sharp mental focus on ‘not focusing on the pain’ which actually takes a lot of mental effort – well, for me …

So I read. My reading system is complicated and very uncomplicated all at the same time. I have many rules – and they all lead back to that ‘focus’ part.

Main Rules:

1) No … I don’t know what to call them – church-ey, uplifting, inspirational books? I guess all of the above. I know, I know – y’all think it is because I am evil … and there IS that, but in addition – they tend to make me verklempt (Sorry – I had a very close Jewish friend at my last job and learned ever so much Yiddish and no other word feels right here) thus losing my focus, then on to the sobbing and the kvetiching (ooops, yet again …) and my pain spirals right out of control.

2) No self-help books. Why? I LOVE to buy them, but never read them. Somewhere inside me I am TOTALLY convinced that if the book is in my house I will learn whatever skill is being introduced by osmosis. Totally not working out all that well for me so far, thus I have put the kibosh on any and all further purchases of self-help books. Especially since, if you actually read them – THEY WANT YOU TO DO STUFF …

3) Pretty much anything else other than mystery and adventure novels. I would LOVE to say I am so into history that the last book I read was “America in the Gilded Age: Third Edition” but no – I would rather barf up a lung than read that book – go figure.

Here’s the thing … I read fast. Really fast. I don’t speed read – although I did learn how – it just takes too much concentration and I am very out of practice – but still – pretty fast. If I am in bed, or being especially lazy I can read 2 books a day. And now with my handy little kindle … I can just download books to my heart’s content hitting that

“Buy now with 1-Click”

button. It can become rather pricey.

OK – so that does not look like many rules – but it really just comes down to that the only thing I can read and still stay emotionally stable – thus keeping my pain in control - is books on murder and mayhem. Yes, you would think that I would care, but I don’t. You would think that I would prefer to keep this a secret – but who knows? Based on what I have been writing here in my blog lately – this may bring me up to a whole new level of ‘normalcy’ in some people’s eyes!

I have had to become very creative this past four or five months since I ran out of books by my ‘regular’ authors. I have researched the best books of 2009, 2010, 2011 (in the mystery / adventure section of course) and then looked up the authors and started to expand my horizons.

I just peeked at my Amazon “Manage Your Kindle” section to refresh my memory on my newfound authors and did a wee mental “eeek!” The thing about these authors is that they generally crank out a book every year or so, and when you are reading two a day – you need to have a HUGE stockpile of authors. I hadn’t run into this problem until this year – thus the researching – checking out the author and then going back to the first book in the series and reading all the books in order. Starting sometime in April – this is what I have read:

John Locke – Donovan Creed novels plus a few others (10 books)

Robert Crais – Elvis Cole & Joe Pike (two of my most favorite sleuths) (7 books)

John Lescroart – Dismas Hardy and others (23 books)

John Lutz – Frank Quinn (13 books)

James Thompson – Kari Vaara – an Inspector in Finland (sadly – only 3 books)

Jo Nesbø – Harry Hole – an Inspector in Norway (pronounced Haaarrrrry Hula) (10 books)

Reed Farrel Coleman – Moe Praeger, Joe Serpe and Dylan Klein (14 books)

And my current fave author: Robert B Parker – he has 3 series going – I have read all of one and moved on to the next one:

Sunny Randall – (6 books)

And now I am reading the “Spenser” series with …


wait for it …





wait for it …





FOURTY BOOKS!!!!

I don’t know how he cranked them out and I am on the sixth and don’t have that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach of ‘what evah am I going to read next?” I am thrilled! The dialogue is funny, snappy and interesting and Spenser (I cannot remember his first name – it is rarely used …) is exceptionally intelligent and well read – which gives me that feeling of inferiority with a little bit of incentive to pick up something other than a trashy mystery novel – but I have yet to succumb to this temptation.

So – I am in BOOK HEAVEN. I am going to keep reading, laughing, sleuthing, pain ignoring, and TOTALLY not think about how much this is going to cost me ….

And yet, now that I wrote that I don’t have that fear of what to read next in the pit of my stomach – there is a little voice in my head telling me that if I look up there and do the math on what I have read in the last couple of months …. forty ain’t all that much.



Any suggestions?


Keep in mind if you make me weep openly I will hunt you down and hurt you …

01 July 2012

A (Previous) Sunday with Jessie ...


I took these photos two weeks ago, then never got them up on my blog. So I thought that while I was trying not to throw up, this would be a good diversion, no?

After her movie with Dad, who was recovering from High Adventure Scout Camp - having arrived home the day before and was rather ill, we decided to make a princess book:









She seemed to rather like it and I took her home ...



I have been noticing fields full of sunflowers, but never anywhere where I could pull over my car and take photos - but on the way to Jessie's 'home' I spotted a pull off where I would be able to put the car without fear of serious mishap and wandered around snapping away ...






30 June 2012

Who Knew? And Blood Geysers ....


I have been lying in bed comatose since Sunday - that is seven whole days. Well, not really comatose, just really, really sick - fever, chills, sore throat, same old, same old. I have been very naughty and lax when it comes to my overall "Health Regimin" which includes jamming a needle in my thigh ... go figure I just haven't been in the mood for needle jammin' ...

So - I got myself up this morning and weave and wove my way to my desk to write a note that needed to be written weeks ago and decided that I needed to give myself the injection (that is, after asking Ryan if he would and he told me no, but bravely stood by, white faced and supplied moral support).

Thing is? You know that part where they say 'after jabbing in the needle, pull back on the plunger to make sure you did not hit a vein' part? Yeah - that part? Well today I decided that I just could not be bothered - if I jammed it into my thigh I was going to call it a victiory and plunge the crud in my thigh ...

Hmmmm - THE ONE TIME I fail to be diligent on this and the 'Needle Gods' on high decide to show me what happens (I am assuming) when you actually hit a vein. I pulled the needle out while covering the hole with my finger while I 'deftly' tried to open the band-aid (Ryan wasn't looking very good right here and he had actually rescued it from the floor after I dropped it - yeah - I live on the edge - I USE BANDAIDS THAT HAVE BEEN ON THE FLOOR). When I moved my finger there was a VERY COOL spray of blood - everywhere! BABY GEYSER!!!

Hmmmm....

That HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE ....

I deftly placed the bandaid over the spurting geyser and decided to go to bed. Halfway there I realized that the blood had run all the way down my leg, was leaving footprints on the floor and my night gown was COVERED.

*sigh*

This is a photo of it still bleeding 10 minutes after giving myself the injection:


Next time? I will most likely pull back on the damn plunger ...

24 June 2012

"Home Security and Protection"

Here is something that I posted on Facebook on Friday at about 4:20:

So … I’m sitting at my desk. It is 4:00pm and I hear the knob on the door turn on the back door. Charlie is jumping up and down, prancing and whining as she does when someone gets home. The door rattles again, but no one enters. I entertained the thought of going back there and letting my son in but decided I was too lazy. Charlie’s jumping sounds are less frenetic and yet still no one enters. I wonder if Gary has come home early and remembered he needed to drop something off in the garage …

No one enters. Charlie has given up with her antics and wanders off …

Decide to go see what is going on. There is no one. There is no truck in the driveway.

Uhhhhh … *gulp*

Text Ryan and asked him if he came home, but had to leave before he got inside?

No.

Uhhhhh. There are probably numerous things that should be bothering me or upsetting about this … but only ONE has taken up residency in my mind:

Charlie – my DIRT BAG guard dog totally BETRAYED ME. Man she was TOTALLY WELCOMING whoever was trying to get into our house with open arms (… er legs? paws?).

She is now back at her ‘Guard Post’ as shown below – and no, I did not help with the pillows – she’s a pillow dog …

I’m so hurt …

Anyone want a dog?



**** end of Facebook Post ****

So, after thinking about this for a bit longer and totally freaking out that there REALLY was a person in my backyard and he / she / they were REALLY trying to open the back door and my IDIOT DOG was REALLY jumping up and down in front of the DOOR - thus in front of the intruder(s) also - she was DELIRIOUS WITH JOY that someone had come to play with her, upon these further deliberations, I decided that maybe we should not use Charlie for any of our Home Security needs.

Gary, however, thinks that maybe with proper instruction Charlie will get on board and become the guard dog that he knows in in her (TOTALLY just made that up - we are not DELUSIONAL ...). So - I give you installment #1 of our "Home Security and Protection" video:




I'm not totally on board with this, but I am sure with proper motivation and training Charlie will grow up to be the ...

Oh, man - I cannot even type it ...


the dog is a complete idiot when it comes to security and protection ...



So I will start making sure the door is locked - it was a TOTAL fluke that the door was locked on that Friday afternoon. I had let Charlie out earlier and I guess I had locked it when she came back in. I am a little more than mildly curious as to what would have happened once the intruder walked in and simultaneously:

1) I realize that it is not Ryan who walked in the back door as I had assumed

and

2) the intruder realize that the house was not as empty as it looked - my car was in the garage, the driveway was empty.


So what happens then? Charlie, I am sure would have been entertaining in some sort of way ...



... but I am pretty sure that I would not have found it funny ...



Not funny at all.

12 June 2012

Mysteries of the Mind ...


I do stupid things when my husband is gone. It is a proven fact – if he is not here to keep me sane, well …

He hasn’t even been gone that long, but I am out of practice – it has been a while since those six week stints in Australia and the times I couldn’t go over in between. Like I said - out of practice. I’ve notice two things happen when he is gone and I get a bit … weird. One: my potty mouth acts up (sorry about the beauty pageant bad words, but, really – they just really needed to be there …) and Two: I tend to over share – what fun for y’all!

My sister called me up about a Photoshop question the other day then tentatively broached the subject of my health and wanting me to read some books. As she described them, I quickly realized by the titles that they were going to tell me that unresolved issues in my life were causing my illness. She started to say that she felt so guilty that she was the beginning, the cause of my ‘weirdness’ when I was young and had to stop her, having discovered a thing or two in the twenty or thirty years since we had probably brought up the subject.

I told her that I would get the two books and read them (and bought them), but something kept nagging at me. It was that I feel as if I have done a reasonably decent job in keeping my sanity intact with all the fun times in my past. So I wrote her an e-mail titled “Because I need you to understand” and asked her to read some of my writings plus something I wrote on Facebook – I couldn’t concentrate on the first book since I felt I needed to convince my sister that I was more stable than she probably thought. She is a busy gal and like most of my family, does not read my blog. I write it for my parents to know that I am still alive and they say they enjoy reading my writings – so I continue to write. That Gary’s two sisters and many of my nieces read the blog makes me actually feel more connected to his family than mine.

But then again, as I have said before – I am the ‘weird’ one in the family and they barely tolerate me – hell – I barely tolerate me! I don’t know how Gary does it without going stark raving mad. I guess I am ‘weird’ in a different way now days than when I was younger – mainly I blurt out whatever comes to mind without censoring it first and it gets me in heaps of trouble. Go figure – somewhere along the road of my life I guess I just stopped caring what other people thought of me and just say it like it is.  If you don’t like it - whatever – it is my opinion, which in this country is just A-OK (in theory) and so ignore me. And they do.

I have watched my blog since I sent the e-mail 5 or 6 days ago and since no one in Hawaii has gotten on nor accessed the ones I pointed out, I decided that I was in a tentative standoff with her (without her knowing - mean, I know). As soon as she read MY stuff – I would read hers. Stupid I know – and it isn’t like I think it is going to be disturbing or life altering or even a teensy bit healing to my immune system (sorry, I am a cynic through and through) but that is just the way my brain decided to deal with it.

I cut and pasted something I wrote in Facebook and I don’t know if I should put it here since this is going to be long as it is.  Oh, well – I will but I will mark the beginning and the end so you can skip it:

*****

“A Note for Brent"

Brent,

You asked “Have you ever noticed its only sunshine wherever you go Lori? You look like you have a good life.” and it gave me pause … and much to think about. I DO have a good life! A wonderful life and wouldn’t trade it for the world, but I would like to answer your question in more depth, if you don’t mind.

I have a daughter Jessie – she is 23 years old, but mentally she is three years old and we spent many years in the hospitals repairing her birth defects. Raising a mentally retarded child comes with its own special set of rain clouds – BUT it comes with a very special set of rainbows! That first step? Her first word? The first time she tells you she loves you and understands what she is saying (just 2 short years ago)? The ‘uninitiated’ will never know the joys these things bring a parent because of the price it took them to get there. You simply cannot have rainbows without the storm clouds …

I lived in Norway for two years, absolutely the most beautiful country I have ever seen - in the most beautiful, remote, historical mountain home that I could have ever imagined living in. It taught me to appreciate those rare weather patterns with clear, sunny skies for months on end and to take advantage of every minute of it!

I have another daughter Rachael – she is in the cemetery up the road a bit. Knowing she was going to die soon after she was born while I was pregnant with her was stressful and scary. It taught me that in the worst, darkest, severe, most scary storm – there is always the promise and surety that it will end one day and the sun WILL come out.

My husband lived in Australia for almost two years and I ‘commuted’ back and forth every 4 or 6 weeks, calling both our Texas home and our high rise apartment in Downtown Brisbane my home. It taught me to appreciate the beauty of the clouds from above - at 37,000 feet, and to excitedly anticipate and be thrilled to watch the beautiful sun rise twice on a that very long, tiring 14 hour flight between Brisbane and LA.

I have had two very serious chronic illnesses for 19 years that have kept me on two types of morphine for intolerable pain. It has taught me that when the storm clouds roll in … as they are guaranteed to do – I have the strength to make it through to the other side and to more gentle weather. Sometimes I breeze through and sometimes I’m just hanging on by my fingernails … but one way or the other, I always get there!

My son is a handsome, gentle, kind and polite 21 year old who has weathered all this by his parent’s side. As he is the ‘Nearly Perfect Son’, he has taught me to see the beauty in that ‘Perfect Day’. To stop, slow down, soak in the sun and just be happy to exist in that moment.

I have travelled extensively all throughout Scandinavia, Europe, Australia and New Zealand taking photographs. It has taught me that regardless of the weather, there is always, always, always an infinite number of stunningly beautiful photographs to take – you just have to look a little harder, be a little more patient, and not mind getting a little bit wet!

I have been married to the smartest, kindest, most patient, talented man I have ever known for just months shy of 30 years now. He has taught me many, many things. He is my best friend, the person who picks up the slack when I am ill, never complains and is always happy and cheerful. When Gary is around, I have discovered – regardless of the weather outside - the sun is always shining brightly …

So … Brent, I guess you are right! There IS only sunshine wherever I go! Thanks for giving me the chance to think it all through.

*****

That was not a ‘fluff piece’ to me. It is truly what I believe and feel. I also wrote her:

Writing has always been therapy for me. It chases away my demons and if I can get it down on paper – I can mentally fold that paper and lock it away in a safe – deep in my mind – and I HAVE CONTROL when it gets opened – these things never again jump me in the dark.

This was probably the first thing I ever wrote that let me ‘put it away’ and not worry about it anymore:
The Beginning of the End

This was truly a gift – and says a lot about where I am at … I believe:
The Gift of a Dream ...

This one I believe mom made you read about Rachael – things about her all are OK now …
Rachael's Box

This one is just one of thousands of tiny moments in my life that make me enormously happy and at peace with myself:
The Perfect Rock

I felt comfortable that if she read these things she would understand that I was in a good place in my life and OK with everything.

Except for that beginning of the conversation where she said she felt guilty for something. Here comes the ‘oversharing’ part. When I was young I had two very severe issues and looking back – both my mother and I agree that I was clinically depressed and never diagnosed since I never went to a doctor about either of these things – except for one time – it is to follow. We just all assumed that I was weird …

The first thing that happened was my Elementary School decided not to distinguish between the mental maturity of a kindergartner and a sixth grader and showed us all a film about not approaching strangers. Back then, I guess they thought the best way to get the point across was the scare the shit out of kids via film noir …

I was a kindergartner at the time. I don’t remember much of the film … just the end. The girl that got in the car with the lovely gentleman was shown at the end. She was dead and I remember that it was autumn in the film and she was lying in leaves and they were blowing over her. At that age, I really could not distinguish between what was real and what was ‘theatre’ since I didn’t watch much TV and I guess I was particularly dense. I truly thought that I was seeing the girl dead. It affected me immensely. To my credit – when my mother finally called the school a week later to discuss the situation that I had literally not fallen asleep for one single minute since seeing that film – they mentioned that many, many of the younger children were … freaked out.

Sleep suddenly became a huge issue for me. I went to a doctor who prescribed some sort of horse tranquilizer that would totally dose me into unconsciousness. He thought if he broke the cycle that everything would be fine after that. They gave me the pills, but had been cautioned that they must wake me up every few hours … I cannot remember exactly why – I would drop into a coma, stop breathing? Who knows – but that is what they did and I slept.

That night.


I have since to figure out how to sleep – which since it is 2:22am as I type this sentence pretty much shows that I really have no clue how to fall asleep. Insomnia and I have been inseparable pals ever since that lovely film.

The other ‘weirdness’ is something that I was so ashamed of - for years and years. After I was married, at family gatherings, no one could resist taunting me and telling Gary all about my weirdness. To say that it embarrassed me to no end and was the birth of my insecurity with family gatherings with my family is putting it mildly. Gary was rather surprised the first time they made fun of me – because, really – it is a doozy, and sadly he agreed with them – I was weird – that hurt. But really, was it necessary to share? It sort of always bothered me that Lori was the one that got the ‘stories’ told about – but maybe it had something to do with my small bit of success. I was a Student Body officer in High School, got straight A’s in college, had a great job in my field – so maybe they just felt like knocking me down a notch or two. I really don’t know – I am sure that there were PLENTY of other things we could have talked about – but that’s just me …

Little did they know that growing up a freak, no matter how much success you achieve – you will always be the freakishly weird one – and that really does not foster self-esteem at all.

In our first house we lived in in Logan, Utah, there were two bedrooms downstairs. My older sisters Kelli and Jodi slept in one and me and my younger sister slept in the other. It was a great house and I am going to veer off course for just a bit.



It was a typical house. You walked in the front door into the living room. Straight in front of you was a door sized entrance to the ‘kitchen’ part of the kitchen. To the right of that was a larger opening where the table was. Behind the table was a sliding door to the backyard and to the right of the sliding door (if you turned 90 degrees) was the entrance to the stairs to the basement and a door out to the garage – right along the rightmost side of the house.

Between the living room and the kitchen area there was a hall to the left – the first door on the right was a bathroom, the second my parents bedroom. There was one bedroom on the left where my little sister Marci and my brother Jeff slept.

That bathroom was THE COOLEST bathroom in the universe! Under the sink, there was a chute to the basement where you could throw your dirty clothes. That we used it as a slide was incredibly stupid, but we made sure there was a sufficient pile of clothes in the basement to buffer our fall. WAY COOL. The coolest thing we did without punishment. The COOLEST thing we EVER did was either one of two things – equally AWESOME:

One: we turned the kitchen into a slip-n-slide while my mom was gone by placing rolled up towels around to keep the water in and flooded the floor – SO MUCH FUN (until mom got home).

Two: Pinning a towel on Jeff when he was about 3 years old and convinced him that he could fly. Taking us at our word he immediately jumped off the top step intending on ‘flying’ down into the basement. Since these steps were not carpeted and the guy really couldn’t fly (well, NOW he can, but he does not wear a cape and needs a helicopter or plane to do so) he landed badly on a step and broke his leg or foot – my mother, again was displeased. But still …. SO AWESOME!

Walking into the basement you entered a huge family room. Turning 90 degrees to the right you would be staring at the opposite end of the house and that was where the two bedrooms and a bathroom were. If you turned a quarter turn again – you would be looking at the door into the large laundry room with a small room inside it that was a pantry. Shelves and shelves of home canned goods and food storage.

One night, my sister and I were in bed and I heard something. My sister was ‘in’ on the joke and said she didn’t hear anything. This went on for a while until my sister – the one who called and wants me to read the books, jumped on me and scared the living shit out of me. I believe that was the last time I ever slept in that basement.

That is my huge shame – and the brunt of my sibs jokes – Lori – the ‘fraidy cat’ who was too scared to sleep in the basement. I took it. What else could I do? It was true. My parents eventually built another home with the master bedroom upstairs and one other bedroom – so I would not have to sleep on the living room couch. The thing is? I could sleep in THAT basement no problem.

No problem? Seriously? Then, really – what was the real problem?

And here is where the mind becomes such a marvelous piece of the anatomy. I was a kid back then – moved to the new house I believe as I started Junior High. I am 50 now and I have made HUGE leaps of progress into finally discovering the ‘mystery’ of why I could not sleep in the basement. Everyone thought they had it pegged – Jodi scaring the shit out of me – which certainly didn’t help and it didn’t help that it was near the time of that infamous film I saw either – but there was something more – something weird, something creepy, something scary and dark and evil and I could never get a hold of what it was.

Most of what I have had ‘come back’ to me was while I lived down here in Texas – so after years my mind started working on the problem. I would dream that I was in my old house and I would wander and wander. I would go downstairs and everything was fine, not scary … until I entered the laundry room and tried to enter the pantry. For years – awake or during my dreams I could not open the door.

Years later I was able to go into the pantry – but since it was right by the end of the house – if you walked to the end of it – you could turn to your right 180 degrees and be under the stairs – more storage. I realized that I could enter the pantry, but I could NOT, no matter what turn and go under the stairs. This went on for years and bothered me to no end that whenever I thought about it – everything felt dark, and weird and … well – evil.

So, one day when we were together I said to my oldest sister Kelli “You remember the first house in Logan and the pantry downstairs?” She said yes. I said “I can’t remember what was under the stairs, and I cannot mentally go there … were there bodies stacked like cord wood?” She laughed and said “No, it was where mom and dad kept all the food storage.” Hmmmmm.

A few years and a lot more dreams and wandering around the house and one morning I realized something. The pantry was NOT filled with home canning and food storage. It had a floor of carpet scraps and there were toys and books on the shelves. I was NOT wandering my childhood home – I was wandering my BEST FRIENDS childhood home – right next door to us. It was the very first time I realized that they had identical floor plans.

That was quite a breakthrough and I realized that I could not, no matter how hard I tried – turn the corner in our own special playroom.

It does not take a PhD in psychology for me to realize that something happened back there. I have a glimmer that it was full of beanbag chairs and overstuffed pillows. My best friend had an older brother and what I would give to be able to ask him if he had anything to do with this (which seems the most logical answer and feels right) but he was killed years ago having been hit by lightning on a golf course – so …


unanswered questions.


Will I ever know what happened in that playroom under the stairs? Yes, I believe that my mind has been working on it for quite some time and I will eventually get to the bottom of it. Does it make me feel less of a ‘freak’ or a ‘fraidy cat’? Yes, but the time for caring at all about that has long gone.

I find that the mind is a mysterious and fascinating place. I know that I have many, many unresolved issues. I used to joke the year after ‘THE YEAR’ (1997) – the baby, the broken wrist, the tornado, the hits just kept coming and I just tried to keep afloat. I was working at the time and was confiding to a friend that I had been in ‘triage mode’ for a long time – just going from body to body – working with the hopeful and leaving the dead and dying behind. I told him that I had done that for so long just quickly working with one thing and bracing myself for the next - not really working anything through, dealing with anything at all - just bracing for that next hit - and then suddenly – no more 'hits' no more major disasters! And what happens? I tell him that things in my mind get very quiet, and I mentally turn around and discover that all those ‘dead and dying’ things that I left behind are all still back there ... a giant room filled with rotting and stinking bodies. Metaphor’s are not my strong suit – but this one was so visceral and felt right.

He asked me what I was going to do about it?




I told him that I was going to buy a freezer …



…. a really, really big freezer.


Not sure if that is what happened or if I have sufficiently ‘cleaned up the mess’ in my head, but although I have insomnia – these are not the things I lose sleep over – so maybe I have moved on. Having been diagnosed at the time with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) made sense, but when do they tell you that you no longer are hampered with this albatross hanging around your neck? Does it linger forever, just getting lighter and lighter (or heavier and heavier for some, who unfortunately cannot take the strain and decide it is time to leave this mortal place and finally get some peace)? I don't have the answer to that. Maybe I am free of this moniker, or maybe I am just fooling myself - who knows?

Do I think that my illness has anything to do with all this? Yes, I do – but not as my sister thinks. When I got mono in 1992 – some people snap out of it, but studies have shown that those that don’t and it morphs into CFS – a very large number have been in tremendous amounts of stress at the time. I know that stress is a killer – but sometimes you don’t get to pick and choose when you are going to be in stressful situations. I had gone through 4 years of Jessie and averaging 8 doctors and specialist visits with her every week since we moved to Houston (not to mention all the surgeries and hospital stays), and after Ryan was born – he was lugged along to all those visits too. So – I was in no shape to get ill – but I did and that’s that.

Shit happens …

If I exorcise my demons, will I be healthier? Maybe, a little bit, but I really don’t think that since my subconscious cannot remember some trauma that I experienced as a little girl my T-Cells are precariously low.


But who knows? Maybe I will pick up one of those books even though she does not care enough to read my stuff, I will start reading and see if there is something to it.



Weirder things have happened …

05 June 2012

If she had asked me to jump off a bridge … I probably would have done that too …


I had a friend my Senior year in High School. I am unsure exactly when she moved from New York to Utah, so she might have been my friend my Junior year also.

She was beautiful, vivacious, full of life, mischievous and loved every minute of life. We got along rather swimmingly – which is saying quite a lot for me. Having many, many acquaintances I was gifted with being the Studentbody Vice President AND before you think that I was actually COOL or something … I was also the Yearbook Editor – thus the nerdy part to balance everything into perfect equilibrium.

As I said – acquaintances, but not many close friends. This was entirely my fault – I am rather shy – which, when you have been goaded into running for a Studentbody office, then winning said office and don’t dare make eye contact with people in the halls or go to the cafeteria for lunch (because, you know, there were PEOPLE there …) most everyone decides that you are a stuck-up bitch and stays away.

I was rather OK with that … it worked for me. I was left alone. Except for my friend. She was the EXACT opposite of me – adventurous, fun, talked to everyone – not a shy bone in her body and always, always had a huge smile on her face. She was the Yin to my Yang as far as friendships go and would talk me into doing things that I generally, if left to my own devices would never done. I’m not talking about robbing the local 7-11 or anything – just stuff that I normally don’t do – like stuff where other people are involved …

One day she came to me with a plan. There was a contest, she said. It looked fun, she said. I assume the rest of our conversation went about something like this:

Lori: “Oh! No, no, no, NO, Never!”

Kim: “Why? Come on, there is no one there from Logan – it’s our sworn DUTY to represent the city in which we live in. Anyway – it will be fun!”

Lori: “Have you ever thought that there was maybe, just maybe a GOOD REASON no one from Logan is ‘representing our fine city’? It is a (OK, I am ashamed to admit it – I did use this term, like ALL of the time referring to people who lived in our county but not in the city limits – a HUGE distinction in my mind) ‘Goat Ropers’ event and … just … no.”

Kim: “You are awful! It is NOT just for the county kids – come oooon! I promise, we will have fun! Anyway, I want to do it, but I don’t want to go alone …”

Lori: “Can I make fun of everyone there?”

Kim: “Of course.”

Lori: “And no one gets hurt?”

Kim: “No one gets hurt. Just a fun time all round!”

Lori: “I’m gonna regret this, aren’t I?”

Kim: “WHY would you say that? Good times, good food, good making fun of others – what is not to like?”

Lori: “OK” *sigh* And my FAMOUS LAST WORDS

I did not want to have anything to do with this event. I have SERIOUS ISSUES on anything that even smells of what this event smelled of, but she wanted to do it and she could talk me into ANYTHING.

I made fun of EVERYTHING. And I mean everything. I remember that during a one-on-one interview they asked me why I was there? I was a little freaked, like someone had told the adults about my making fun of absolutely everything. So I answered: “Um, for the food?” and got the laugh that I expected. It sounded way better than my friend had twisted my arm and I was sorely regretting it.

Well the evening comes and there we all are. Standing around in a huge auditorium. My eyes were sore from rolling and rolling them. Everyone there seemed so … dumb! They had no interests that I was even remotely interested in. I would have loved a good conversation about my Physics class, or where I was heading to college – but they wanted to talk about hair, and makeup and Kim had to physically stop me multiple times from attempting to make the gesture of sticking my finger down my throat. Yeah … good times.

Standing there under the hot lights … I remember thinking only ONE THING:

How much longer it was going to last?

Thirty minutes …

Twenty minutes …

As I was looking at my watch trying to figure out if I had made it to 10 minutes the person on my right nudged me and said “They called your name … go!”

Lori: “WHAT!!!”

Unknown County Girl: “THEY JUST CALLED YOUR NAME – go up there!”

Lori: “I will KILL her …”

And so I did what, in my wildest imaginations had not even ONCE thought could happen. I plastered a very fake smile on my face, stepped up to the MC who put a crown on my head and handed me a bouquet of flowers. And then there was the ‘walk’ and in my mind each step resounded with the mantra “I’m going to KILL her” over and over again.

ESPECIALLY when, during that ‘walk’ I turned around to go back and saw her up there standing in the stands LAUGHING HER FREAKING HEAD OFF.

UGGG – I am so ashamed.


My parents recently sent me a bunch of stuff when they were cleaning out their closet and I was yet again reminded of my humiliation, but not so much – since this was the program to the LAST THING I EVER HAD TO DO AS A ‘DAIRY PRINCESS’ ahhgh – just the words ‘Dairy Princess’ makes me want to gag:



Yeah – I could have just DIED. After, behind the scenes, a bunch of county girls found it odd when a girl in a Green dress wearing a crown LEAPT and attacked the girl she had been hanging around for the past two days. I know it is a bad word, but, really … there is no other word that works here: Bitch Slapping commenced until she was laughing so hysterically and I was still yelling at her – actually swatting her with my bouquet of flowers that everyone sort of backed off and gave us space ….

I would go into the year of endless school visits, rodeos (kill me now), parades but I won’t.

It ended and there was one fun part. The ‘Queen’ was seriously a bitch that was a very, very strange person and we decided that after she pulled off her fake eyelashes, her fake fingernails, and the rest of the weird accoutrements that she was wearing … that underneath it all … she was from another planet. The other two ‘attendants’ were a blast – the one named Lisa had an identical twin sister Liz who also participated in this little ‘contest’.

Seriously – how does one win and not the other? They were inseparable and all three of us became good friends … County Girls be damned …



I am sure there is a moral to this story somewhere …





… hell if I know what it is though ….

02 June 2012

The Perfect Rock


I had a dream today - during a restless nap.

A dream about a specific event, way, way back in another life. It was about, of all things, a rock! A silly rock ... and I had lost it.

This concerned me to no end in my dream since it wasn't just any rock ...

So I searched, and searched and searched ...




all in vain.




I never found it. I was more than distraught and sat on the ground weeping ...



... until I woke up with tears in my eyes.


I immediately went to my armoire, and started to clear out all of my medications to get to a small, wooden 'treasure box'.



Let's back up a bit - to put things into perspective ...


The Roman Forum, Rome, Italy - 2005:

The Perfect Rock

October 2005: The Roman Forum, Italy

I watched her, while waiting for Ryan and Gary to come back from some excursion or another. I had twisted my ankle on the tour of Palatine Hill above the Forum and had not walked to the edge to see the bird’s eye view of the area I was now sitting in. I told them to go ahead and I would rest for a bit on a piece of rubble from some ancient monument and soak in the sun.

She was very serious and committed to her work! As I watched her move about from place to place, she picked up and discarded three rocks, but the fourth one she kept and put in her pocket. I wondered what was so special about that rock and not the previous three.

I noticed her mother watching me as all mothers of handicapped children do: wondering what is in the mind of that person staring so openly and obviously at their handicapped child. Was I wondering why a woman would travel from the U.S. with her downs child and bring her to Rome, Italy? Her daughter was only looking at silly rocks, for heavens sake. She could not comprehend the wonder of what the rubble we were sitting in had once been. Who was I to judge her? In the split second these thoughts took hold, I realized that it was what I would have thought had I brought my own handicapped daughter along with me and had found someone staring so openly at her. My Jessie also would most likely have been doing something as equally confusing to an ‘outsider’. I had no idea what this mother was thinking.

I smiled at the woman and said: “I miss my daughter Jessie. She stayed home with her grandmother. Your daughter is beautiful.” And being a very perceptive lady, she knew immediately what I meant. Her daughter looked up from her searching, hearing our voices, and I asked her if she was having fun. The huge smile on her face was impossible to misinterpret. She continued on her quest, her pockets bulging with her new found treasures, and her mother relaxed, realizing that I was just enjoying the wonder and joy in her child’s treasure hunt, and nothing more.

Suddenly with a sharp intake of breath and a look of awe - she found it! The Perfect Rock. It looked like a small chunk of whatever was lying around our feet; probably from some beautiful sculpture or building, now in rubble. It was white, asymmetrical, the edges worn smooth by time. She looked at it for some time, and saw in it things that I, obviously, could not. The delight and wonder this rock could bring her was a gift to me in itself, but then she looked up, walked over to me and with the smile of an angel, placed it in my hand. As she looked at me with very serious eyes I thanked her and told her that I would take good care of it.

I keep it in a container: my ‘Treasure Box’, with some other things I have collected over the years. Most of the other items value and importance to me are very clear, but in the middle of all my beautiful, expensive trinkets, is a white chunk of rock: my priceless Perfect Rock. In it are the wonders of a small, special child, the mysteries of the universe and a little glimpse of heaven.

*****

So, you see - this wasn't just 'any' rock - and I had dreamed that I had lost it.

I grabbed my treasure box and left the room (Gary was in there and if I couldn't find it, I would probably burst out in tears and didn't want an audience) and came in the office. I gently opened the lid, and there it was! Nestled in with other treasures, in a ziploc bag with the write up I just shared. All was well!


My 'Perfect Rock' was safe!





I will sleep better tonight knowing this ...