Film at Eleven ... er - Well - Really at Six O'Clock ...

There Are No Words For This Kind of Stupidity ...


And I Am Not Even Talking About Me!


For those Non-Facebookers (Mom & Dad) out there I will repeat my Texts to Gary for continuities sake:

Gary: "Are you doing OK today?"

Me: ""I'm not dead yet" ... You have to read that with the Monty Python intonations or it just won't do ..."

Gary: "I have a Scottish person next to me. I'll have him read it."

2 seconds later:

Me: "Um ... we have a Channel 2 News Van parked out in front of our house ... is there anything I need to know about?"

Gary: "No, unless they are coming to film The Wonder Mutt or the Prettiest Blanket Chest in Houston."  (Note: The Prettiest Blanket Chest in Houston will be featured in an upcoming blog ...)

Me: "Ahhhhgggghhhh! The reporter just rang the doorbell!"

Gary: "Must be the Wonder Mutt ..."



Surprisingly - it was not about our super awesome dog - it was about ... well - stupidity.


Let me back up a couple of days.

Gary and I were out front talking while Gary was throwing the Frisbee for the Wonder Mutt when our neighbor came over. Very rare - we as neighbors are awful and avoid each other at all costs.

He related an incident the night before where about 2:00am he noticed two guys trying to break into his car out front. He said he ran them off and called the police. I mentioned that I was actually up in the office on the computer and had noticed lights over at his house about that time. He said that it was the Police since the thief's were on foot. He said they did not take anything - and that there was really nothing for them to take from his car anyway but thought he should make us aware that it had happened.

We thanked him profusely, probably mentioned something about making sure we keep things locked up tighter than we usually do and said our goodbyes.

And then promptly forgot all about it ...


Until the nice Lady Reporter started to speak to me about the incident. She said that they had read about the incident while perusing the Sheriffs reports and were running a story on in during the 6:00 O'clock News.

Odd, I thought - weren't there some muggings or killings or horribly grisly traffic fatalities they could report on? Why this piddly wee bitty crime?

AND THEN she mentions the details that our neighbor failed to mention when he came over to warn us that nefarious creatures were lurking about our neighborhood.

Apparently, according to the Sheriff's report - our neighbor saw the two men trying to break into his car - and being rather large and imposing - stepped out front and told them to get lost - which they promptly did.

Here is the new part:

Apparently one of the hardened criminals realized that he had lost his phone and they decided that it was probably while they were breaking into our neighbors car.

So ...


THEY GO BACK TO HIS HOUSE, RING HIS DOORBELL, TELL HIM THEY THINK THEY LOST THEIR PHONE WHILE BREAKING INTO HIS CAR, COULD THEY GO TAKE A LOOK?

At which point our neighbor runs them off AGAIN, THEN calls the Police.


I was enjoying our conversation and we were having a bit of a laugh at these two idiots when she mentioned that they had been arrested and were sitting in jail.

I asked her how? Since our neighbor had run them off.


Apparently their parents were wondering where they were, so they called the Police and reported that they were 'missing' and to please keep a look out for them.

Which they did - and they found them - complete with plenty of stolen items on their persons from a car down the block that they had broken into earlier.

I said: "Please, please tell me they were like twelve ..."

But no - they were both NINETEEN YEARS OLD.


I noticed at this point that the cameraman had become rather interested in us and she suddenly said - "You know - you have said some hysterically funny things during this conversation - do you mind if we interview you on camera?"

This was a really, really DIFFICULT decision -

Standing there in my jammies, my hair uncombed and ... well - just ME in all my sickness and glory - I politely told her "Hell, no"

I did mention she was free to quote me on anything I had said - I hadn't said anything that would embarrass my parents, siblings, neighbors or Ward Members - so go ahead ...


Since it is now 9:11pm and we don't have Cable in the house anymore - I have no idea if the story ran - but it was a rather entertaining story.


Sadly - it does not do wonders for scaring me so badly that I make sure my doors are locked and my car is secure - I am sure next time Dumb and Dumber decide to go out a thieving - they will most likely terrorize someone else's neighborhood ...