Lori's Blog : Seven Days Post Op ... What I Have Learned So Far ...

Yes, I had surgery on my foot last Friday. If you do not know this and would like to be better informed about what this post is all about - scroll down a few posts and reading my whining and / or rantings and it will fill you right in!

First off - a little review - for y'all that either forgot or y'all that didn't go back and review - I am not in a cast due to the surgery - just a little support thingie and some cool ace bandages that are attached by VELCRO (very cool ... HATE those little mean metal thingies ...). I am to put no weight on my foot for at least two months and probably longer. I WILL get a cast - probably at my next doctors appointment when the 'stitches' come out but not one that I can put weight on.

This will be sad for two reasons ...

One - I will not be able to make Gary do this anymore:

Yeah - that is my foot with EVERYTHING OFF! Except for that last bit of cotton ...

I'm not COMPLETELY stupid ...

and

Two - I am pretty sure it will start itching like the dickens!!!

The GOOD thing about it is that if Charlie happens to jump on my foot - it won't feel like it did when she jumped on it Sunday night ...

After getting the cast on - I apparently sit around - well 'scooter' around until it is deemed that I can put weight on my foot and then a new cast will be put on which I will be able to walk on. If the doctor has gone past this in his scenario of what is going to happen, I have not paid attention.

By then we are up to month three or four and my mind just decides that it is just too discouraging to keep paying attention and turns to other, more exciting, fun things ... like famine, starvation, puppies dying and blind kitties ...

Thus I am thinking that I need a plan. I decided to call it "Happy Feet" in honor of a comment I wrote to one of my friends who was baffled by this cover at my podiatrists office:

It seems pretty straightforward to me, so I asked her what about the 'Happy Feet' bothered her and it was the fact that there is some guy out there designing this. I can think of worse jobs, I, personally would be hard pressed to be able to draw a foot that conveyed this much joy and exuberance ... just sayin'

Thus:

Happy Feet

This is a survival guide of sorts based on what I have learned in the first few days of my lengthy foot incarceration - so there might be changes along the way.

My main goal today is to come up with a starting point so that when I return to my Podiatrist in two weeks and they put this 'Happy Feet' covering on my foot - I wont freak out - give a giant yell and rip it into shreds - thus ensuring that I am kicked out of the building and have to find a new doctor ...

Since it is sort of what I do - I have taken a 'few' photos to go along with this. They will be dispersed intermittently throughout - thus making it look way longer than it really is (but it is pretty damn long y'all ...).

So on to:

Things I Have Learned So Far ... A Survival Guide ... "Lori'isms"

~~ My Doctor is SUPER FAST!

Went to my appointment and the nurse unwrapped my foot down to a piece of gauze that was stuck and she, being very sweet, decided not to try the 'Quick Pull' Band-aid method and leave it for the doctor ...

Sat around and took some photos with my camera, but the doctor was rather quick and came in a few minutes after the nurse left.

After entering and saying 'Hi' and maybe something else as equally verbose - he did actually do the 'Quick Pull' Band-aid method - all the while holding some sort of goo container.

I was holding my cell phone on mute - at the ready. By now, I hope he thinks that I am sadly addicted to reading my e-mail and does not realize that I am taking photos the entire time - I don't know why I don't just whip out my camera and snap away ... maybe it feels too juvenile?

Thus - I had put my camera back in my purse before he came in and set up my 'Stealth Camera' and started snapping.

My MAIN GOAL was a gory shot of the sutures - Jen DOES read this every now and again and I hate to disappoint ...

DANG!!!

I was READY and everything and he has it uncovered for about a nanosecond, then squirts the entire thing with some lovely brown goo - thus, while still disgusting - no sutures showing. I was greatly disappointed ... until I started playing around with Photoshop!!!

As I might have mentioned before - I have had ZERO faith in an iPhone camera. I make fun of them endlessly, ridicule Ryan when he mentions something about them, but a few posts ago I mentioned that since I am sort of immobilized, I have been using it more and it isn't so bad ...

But! I never thought that I could do this:

Not great - but GOOD ENOUGH to see that these here 'sutures' are, in fact NOT SUTURES - they are STAPLES!!!

I know - I should not freak out - Gary has explained that they really are not stapled into my skin, but rather clamping it shut.

When Jessie had her Cranio-Facial surgery where they shaved her head, cut up and over her head from ear to ear then took the skin and PEELED IT DOWN TO HER NOSE - yes, I did just write that - It was not fun at the time either ... deal with it. They did a bunch of things with her bones to fix the forehead suture that fused early, then pulled it back up and stapled the whole thing shut.

They did use a plastic surgeon for the first few inches on either side by her ear that would show, but the rest was a horrific, Frankenstein-ian row of staples. Apparently I had a hard time watching them remove them - something that I totally don't remember, but when it was time for Gary's to come out - I could not bring myself to go, I was totally freaked and for no reason that I can discern other than the last time was traumatic ...

He told me on the phone a few hours ago when I was ranting and raving about it that it was no big deal - thus I have calmed down a lot. But ... ick.

And lickety split he started to roll layer after layer of stuff on my foot.

We were talking and I remembered the very cool Velcro Ace Bandages that he was using and asked him where they were sold? I had mentioned how much easier they were to secure than anything else we had ever used.

I believe I actually caught the shot of him pause, reach over to a little drawer, grab something and toss it to me. It was a Velcro bandage! He said he had not seen them at Walgreen's or CVS and really didn't know where I could get them, thus ... 'here'.

So in addition to fast:

~~ My Doctor is generous ...

Here are my two waiting to go back on ...

I will keep these too:

And in less time than it took me to thank him profusely for the Velcro Ace Bandage - he had rolled ...

And rolled ...

A few more layers ...

My little 'brace' was back on - and he finished up saying that he was off for Spring Break so could not take out my 'sutures' next week so we would do it the next? OK, see you then, bye ...

And before I got a 'Goodbye' in - he was gone!

Since I really had no questions for him, it was not a big deal. I awkwardly exited the room with the help of the nurse, paid and made my way back out to the waiting room where my good friend, Linda was waiting.

Off the elevator and she went through the front doors to get the car while I veered to the right to the wheelchair entrance / exit.

Hmmmm ... It had not seemed all that steep coming in?

My Super Duper Knee Scooter has two hand breaks, but while toodling around the house, I tend to put the toe of my free foot down to slow me, help me turn, I am quite the Knee Scooter driver!

This was new!

I made note of where the hand breaks were and then thought ...

This could be FUN!!! Thus my next Lori'ism:

~~ When you find fun ... take advantage of it! BUT - make sure you have your hand on the break ... just in case!

SERIOUSLY gonna enjoy my doctors visits!!!

~~ Trust your doctor knows what he is talking about

He mentioned getting a shower boot or some such name. Gary showed them to me on amazon and asked me if I would use it. I don't actually remember the conversation - it was day one and I was in huge amounts of pain - so just agreed with everything he said and we ordered it. I remember him asking me if I needed the short or long one and went with the long ...

This leads me to:

~~ Never make decisions while in huge amounts of pain.

Why?

YOU JUST DON'T CARE ...

It showed up and the day I decided it was beyond time for a shower I took it out to discover that were I thin enough, it would have fit me UP TO MY NECK!

It worked perfectly ... that blasted two feet hanging off the bottom of my foot is cumbersome, but hey, I didn't get anything wet!

I really didn't think it was going to work, but when I saw this super stretchy membrane - I declared the inventor a genius and knew it would stay put, stay tight and stay dry.

That it starts hurting like the dickens due to the tightness just makes you speed up your shower ...

The next section is my people section, but I will list a few things I have learned about Driving Basics, Gravity and a few other Natural Laws first:

~~ My Driving Skills come in rather useful for making those three point turns, backing into the WC, etc - all I need is a rear view mirror ...

~~ Charlie does not obey a SINGLE rule of Driving Etiquette ... (this might not be an 'ism - but more like just an observation ...)

~~ When you add a basket to your 'Scooter' that it was not designed for and fill it with something rather heavy - while it is INDISPENSABLE, it would behoove you to take said weight into account and when you hit a bump, or another type of flooring - be super careful or YOU WILL end up going over the top of the handle bars ... (no, I actually have NOT BEEN THAT STUPID - surprise! I have come too close for my feeling like it is never going to happen, though)

~~ If you are zipping across the tile faster than you have ever 'zipped' while walking or lightly running in your house and miscalculate the entrance to your room by MERE INCHES - it WILL HURT MORE when you smack your face into the wall then when you do it on two feet ... it is all in the speed, stupid ... (yeah ... don't ask ...)

~~ Good Help is Paramount. REPEAT THAT 1000 times ...

~~ If you are going to be a pathetic, helpless, pitiful individual for a very extended period of time - make sure your spouse, friends and parents are of 'Celestial' "A-Number One" Quality. Oh, wait - I guess I am OK - since this TOTALLY DEFINES my spouse, parents and friends - but if you are not me ... this might not work out so well ...

~~ My husband is a gem - we already knew that - but he is a very well rounded, Renaissance Man sort of gem -

there's a BIG difference ...

Close your eyes and you would think that Gary and my doc could trade places with their ability and skill in wrapping up my foot.

Why would my husband have to do it, you ask? Because I make him take it off me to give my foot a rest and normal blood flow. After Charlie stomped on it Sunday night, I have demanded that Charlie not be included in these rest periods for my foot.

~~ My husband can still make me laugh, well - at least he tries hard ...

Linda - we will talk about her in a bit - was wonderful and went and got me my most favorite food - Chicken Tikki Masala and Garlic Naan (pronounced 'non' at least I listened to one pronunciation at an Indian site and it is pronounced 'non').

Last night Gary had some and kept and kept saying that "Dinner was a 'Naan' event" or "Dinner was a 'Naan' starter" they were varied and all moan-able. I begged him to stop, but since he just said it again while I was sitting here typing this and speaking with him on his drive home from work - I guess we will be hearing it for some time to come ...

~~ I have SERIOUSLY hands down the two best friends a girl could ever have. I know without a doubt that I could ask anything of either and they would move heaven and hell to make it happen for me. I am not used to friends like this and I abuse them horrifically and yet ... for some inexplicable reason ...

they stay ...

I first met Bonne after I gave an incredibly ... well either stupid or frank talk the first year we lived here. It was very personal and no one really needed to know the things I spoke about, but it was a talk I had given previously in another Ward and it fit the subject I was to speak on perfectly and I really felt as if I needed to give it ... sigh.

After church, a feisty red head stopped me in the halls and introduced herself as Bonne. She then went on to say - way to go unzipping yourself and standing naked in front of the entire Sacrament Meeting ... which is EXACTLY how it felt.

She smiled and then said "I am going to make you my new best friend."

I smiled shyly (because, well, I AM) and in return said: "Good luck with that. I have not had a friend, best or not in over 20 years - I really don't know how to have friends."

And that was it.

Until she forced me to go with her to lunch.

And then 'forced' me to go on cruise with her.

Then more Forced-That-Were-Not-Really-Forced lunches.

Then another cruise.

She is the exact opposite of me! Smart, fun, active, strong and just a wonderful, wonderful person.

Linda, while at that same church meeting, I met a bit later as she was my Visiting Teacher. The first time she came over, I started to talk about myself - I don't remember why, or how we got onto the subjects I was talking about - and as comical as it seems now - I remember as I was talking about very personal things again ... inside my brain was screaming:

SHUT UP!!!

SHUT UP!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF ANYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR ...

JUST SHUT UP!!!

And for some reason I just kept talking ...

Later she told me that everything I had said that day pertained to something she was struggling with and helped her in some way - I forget now how that all went - I just remember sitting there with the inside of my head horrified that I would not simply shut up.

It took Bonne and I a few tries but we knew that we were not a 'Twosome' were were really a 'Threesome'. Finally, finally she came to lunch with us and we were 'Complete'!

They knew that I would say anything - and that I don't hold anything back so it was not something they needed to learn about me. We are all vastly different, but in some ways exactly the same. We can do something that apparently no one else in the world can, these days -

We can go to lunch and spend four or five hours discussing politics, religion - ALL the hot topics and never shout, never argue, and stay forever friends.

Well, you say - you all think EXACTLY alike - how hard is that? And here is where I would point out that you probably could not find three people with beliefs, opinions and attitudes that, while staying under common umbrellas of being American, having the same religion, etc, etc, could be so exceedingly different from each other.

We enjoy listening to each others opinions, don't put anyone down for their particular beliefs and are all sincerely interested in what the others have to say.

When the five hours is over - our voices might have been raised in excitement a bit, but no yelling, no harsh words, no meanness, no judging, still just three very individual women trying to find their way in the world - and generally we love each other more after these discussions, our souls are filled, our psyches are healed and happiness abounds.

Lunch with Linda and Bonne is like a refreshing drink of water after wandering in a desert for days.

I love that they love me and my flaws, I love that they put up with me, I love that they can change my day in a second, I love their laughter, their smiles, and pretty much everything about them - I would be lost without them.

Two of the most wonderful, beautiful women I have ever known ... and I get to call them my friends!

I hope that I do not wear them out over the next few months ...

~~ I have hit the Trifecta! : I have SERIOUSLY hands down the two best parents a girl could ever have.

I don't know if you know my parents - you should - they happen to be the 'Best Parents on Planet Earth'. My Mothers birthday is May 12th and my Fathers birthday is June 20th and so Mother's Day and Father's Day fall very near their birthdays.

For years and years when I was little - I was aware that the entire country celebrated these days, but I just ASSUMED that they were there just for my parents ... and only for my parents - that made absolutely perfect sense to me.

It came as somewhat of a surprise that OTHER parents were included in this day also! I still somewhat think that these days were put in place where they were because my parents are the best of the best.

Mom:

Dad:

We have gone on many family reunions in the past - here we are waiting for Old Faithful to erupt a few years back:

Here they are celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary with all their children on the 'Infamous' (well, for me) Disney Cruise:

My father is a very talented and avid photographer - here he is on a 'Daddy Daughter Photo Trip' we took a few February's ago:

My mother is beautiful and good at everything and I am still coming to grips with her new diagnosis - I don't talk to her as much as I want to - but I will try to amend that while I am sitting around with nothing to do ...

They are funny and fun and are goofing off (well, my dad) all the time (Disney Cruise again) - I call this my mother's 'Felix Look' ... And she is sooo going to be pleased that I posted it ...

And goofing off in Norway as 'Forced Vikings':

We had a blast exploring New Zealand with them when Gary lived in Australia - here we are waiting to lift off ... then on to Christchurch, New Zealand!

I THINK this is Gary's "No, officer - we were not aware that it is ILLEGAL to feed the Kia's (the bird on the roof of the car ... uh, that we had just been feeding .... In our defense he was eating the black rubbery lining that goes around the window and felt we could supply better options ...)."

Seriously though - the Dude just CANNOT lie:

Overlooking Christchurch in some egg-shaped doohickies ... or was it how we got up the mountain?

Hmmmm, one or the other ...

Standing in front of Milford Sound:

After finding out about my situation and that Gary was going to Norway - their immediate response was to drop everything and come out. They have six children.

This dropping things involved my Mother not visiting my Sister and her family in Hawaii where they are living for a bit, or dropping things and not visiting my Sister and her Partner in Washington state after that. I told them I was fine and to come out - we would love to see them - but to come out when they could make it.

Since they read this - I just found out that Gary WILL need to be in Norway the first two weeks in April - so if they want to squeeze it in they can - but I am hoping they can come out when Gary is here - more for a visit.

If they pay close attention - they will KNOW that my good friends will take care of anything I need, and things are much easier just a week out, so I WILL BE FINE ...

Also - another Lori'ism:

~~ It always feels better after a few days.

It is amazing to compare where I was and how I felt over the weekend to how I feel now - WORLDS different!

~~ You better like your bed - if you don't - go find another one. Why? You will be spending much time with it - Quality? Or Not? You choose ...

And I thought that I spent a lot of time in bed BEFORE this happened!

Luckily, I do not have a problem with this since Gary built me the "Prettiest Bed on the Planet":

It is a beauty, isn't it?

This is called "Gary and the Bed". I was taking a photo of 'my point of view' from the bed of the bed when Gary, while eating asked me what I was doing. I told him.

I then saw the photo I had taken and, well ... THAT made me laugh!! He told me that I could not blow up the photo, but feel free to enlarge, y'all (don't tell him I gave you permission):

~~ Since you are going to be laying in bed A LOT. It would be in your best interest to hang a picture / photo that is the same up-side-down as it is right-side-up.

I don't actually HAVE to do that since my photo we hung up there comes pretty close - and what a coincidence, don't you think?

Not once, when trying to decide which of my photos to make into this set of 'Gallery Wraps' to hang above the bed did I think: "Hmmm, better make sure it looks good up-side-down since most of the time that is how you will be looking at it." Just got lucky with a 'reversable' photo!

"Milford Sound" - my perspective from bed:

This way?

Or this (look close)?

~~ In addition to a good bed, decide to become fascinated with your ceiling, or go find a fun one somewhere in your house and plonk your bed under it.

This is also something that you will be looking at - A LOT:

~~ Keep an open mind ...

~~ Make friends with NEW 'appliances' ...

~~ Said 'appliances' are just there to help - not there to make you look ... disabled ...

~~ The right equipment makes all the difference in the world

This is a series of photos that I titled "Some Assembly Required".

I was rather bothered by what my husband is building down there - actually - more like horrifically horrified and abashedly ashamed.

But, I had fallen more times than I care to count and had really hurt myself - thus this temporary severe measures had suddenly become mandatory:

*sigh*

I am really not a girl for 'bathroom talk' - sure I have a potty mouth - but feel rather uncomfortable talking about anything that happens once I walk into our Master Bathroom.

But I gotta say - being able to use two hands and arms to lower and raise myself has GOT to be the absolute highlight of my week! I still yell "Whoo Hoo!" every time I easily stand up - since it is 100 times easier than doing it grabbing onto ... air ...

I would say that we then 'Went to Town' but since things were purchased in the opposite order - that was really not the case.

~~ Showering SHOULD NOT BE an "Extreme Sport"

~~ Lawn Chairs really, really do not double as Shower Chairs ...

~~ I DO NOT LIKE being flipped out of a chair and onto the floor ... especially by a chair ...

~~ I DO NOT LIKE showering while sitting on the floor - vying for space with ten bottles of stuff and a lawn chair looming over me (and, I am quite certain laughing at me ...) or wonder what I am sitting on / in ...

(On a bright note - Gary will dump a giant bottle of Clorox in the shower if you voice your concerns about the quality of cleanliness of the shower floor and 'fix things'. Just so this makes sense - I love me a good bath, and LOVE my giant tub, thus I am not familiar with the daily ins and outs of 'Showerland' in general.)

~~ I really, really thought that I had more balance than I actually do standing on one foot

~~ 'Graceful' is no longer in my vocabulary ...

Our 'Newfangled' shower: complete with detachable head and Old Peoples Bar - which now that I have experienced the fun it is without it - I will take it!

Y'all - it is a sad day when you discover that tile is TOTALLY un-grabable as you are being flipped out of a chair and onto the ground ...

The 'Real' Shower chair arrived today and is sitting in a behemoth box on the porch - after that - I'm not saying that showering will now magically be a snap - but I probably (note - all you freaky demi-gods just WAITING for something - I SAID PROBABLY ...) i PROBABLY won't break my other leg now either ...

~~ Surround yourself with fun, interesting, pretty things as most of the time you will be in pain, in bed, bored out of your skull and did I say in pain?

Here is another one that, at least until I get bored of everything - I have pre-prepared for this somehow - my shelves were all ready prepared to entertain me:

~~ Enjoy what you can see while laying in bed - you'll be seeing a whole lot of it ...

While not the right angle - here is what I see when I lay on my left side:

~~ Put lots of wood items around since they are wonderful to look at - and wood soothes the soul ...

~~ Sprinkle liberally with wood items your husband actually made since these make you the happiest ...

Since I am addicted to wooden containers - there were literally hundreds and hundreds of them strewn about the house even before Gary made eleventy billion Shaker Boxes, Shaker Jewelry Boxes, Shaker Sewing Boxes, Shaker Trays and Tines ...

sprinkling liberally is not a problem for me ...

And add a mirror - you never know what cute guy is going to sneak past you ...

~~ Happy Surroundings means Happy Person ...

The next - well the rest of the photos are a series titled "Happy Surroundings"

~~ Fill your shelves with things that sparkle, make you happy, remind you of the kindness of others

In this photo - this shelf alone - I have my 'Sparkly Collection' which has little 'meaning' as to where I purchased each item - but the sparkly part makes me happy. A photo of a tree and one cannot have too many pictures of trees surrounding them when trying to stay positive.

My beautiful gift from Cherri when she came down for Rachael's funeral - always good for a smile, and a tray given to us by a person Gary used to work with - if you can see the Curly Q's on the beige square - that is cross sections of cinnamon:

My Delft porcelain always makes me happy and reminds me of my wonderful time spent in The Netherlands - there is not a better combination for porcelain than blue and white ...

More trees, more sparklies, more wood containers, my jewelry box from a handicraft fair in Norway - with another 'Lori'ism':

~~ Hide fun stuff in all those wooden containers you sprinkled liberally about for hours of fun!

I didn't even remember I had these until I opened up my Norwegian Rosemåling Jewelry Box (Rose=Flower + Måling=Painting - makes the term: Decorative Folk Art Painting).

A wee little Viking Ship and Stav Kirke (An old Norwegian church) and a Beer Stein from Bavaria, Germany - the wee little lid closes - soo cute!!

More wood containers -

I SIMPLY CANNOT STRESS THEIR IMPORTANCE ENOUGH!!!

And books!! Something I love ...

but sadly I love my Kindle more ...

This shelf brings up another Lori'ism:

~~ Surround yourself with good snacks - that way you won't kill yourself getting to the kitchen for every little thing ...

Do these count?

I THINK NOT!!

I happened to open it out of curiosity, and while the hard tack candy looks good and is dry - I purchased this tin at Harrods in London in December of 2005, thus -

I probably wouldn't chance it ...

And I said - GOOD Snacks - note the Ziploc baggie of almonds on my nightstand - OK, you cannot see them but more along the lines of what I had in mind ...

Cute little wooden container from Germany - checked out the drawers *sigh* sadly no surprises ...

This shelf brings up another Lori'ism:

~~ Place things on the shelves that you can play with, manipulate, put together, pull apart ...

Thus my two Delft colored Russian Nesting Dolls fit this bill - they EACH - yes even the baby - EACH have nine dolls total. The other doll has five ...

Just looking at my Tree-That-Is-Supposed-To-Hold-Jewelry-But-I-Like-It-Better-Bare Tree makes me smile ...

My other Beer Stein is engraved with the small town Ryan and I stayed in overnight while traveling the 'Romantic Road' in Bavaria, Germany: Rothenburg ob der Tauber - specifically the building: The Plönlein viewed from the street: Spitalgasse:

I just took this photo because it was a cool shot:

Oh! Which brings up another Lori'ism I forgot:

~~ Plan activities that you enjoy doing that won't be too taxing and you can come and go as you please. Thus I have been playing in Photoshop and thus y'all just looked at a bazillion photos!

When I lay on my right side - which is my preferred I am often looking directly at what I call "Little China Town". Gary brought these two chests back from Korea so it is a bit of a misnomer - although the other things are from China.

The chests were designed to hold herbs, but do a SUPERB job holding all my jewelry!

I have an extensive Jewelry collection - and soon the chests got full - I have expanded so that all costume jewelry is in my closet and only fine jewelry is here ...

and it got full ...

again ...

Actually - this is the entire view:

Thus I am "Looked Over" by four generations back of "Mother's" - my mother, her mother, her mothers mother ... well - you get it ...

And the REQUIRED photo of "The Married Couple" a long, long time ago ...

Note to self - set up an Ebay account and start selling all the jewelry you have amassed - you don't wear it very often and have over a thousand earring sets alone: