Maybe ... Just Maybe ... He's Reached the Level of His Limitations ...

Well, Gary moved his behemoth thingies around yesterday - with a wee bit of help from me and some hand made ramps to get his Chop Saw Stand up on those blocks (to be level with the table). All worked well and no one was harmed, maimed or seriously crushed under a ton of wood.


The other day, Gary was trying to explain how his clamps were going to be stored. His TRAJILLION clamps. He is a serious clamp addict and since there is no CAA (Clamp Addicts Anonymous) and he makes beautiful furniture, we all look the other way and just let him buy and buy and buy more clamps ...

But where to store them? Here is his clever idea - which makes a heck of a lot more sense than the description Gary gave me:


Where are the clamps? What are clamps? Here, let me get a little lower and you can see better ...

The clamps are on each end of a long steel pipe and, well ... they clamp things ...


An underneath shot of his lovely storage area:


So ... his table is done, the clamps have a home all is right with the world ... yes?

No.


While I was taking photos of his table he was looking at it and said:

"You know, there is room there for four more clamps ..." in a wondrous, wistful, far-away voice ...


He had to clean up and get serious about other things that he TOLD himself he had to start today. Today is the official start to PROJECT WHOVILLE.

Why do we have a 'Project Whoville?'

Because the man volunteered to do the Ward Christmas Party.


VOLUNTEERED.


TO. DO. THE. WARD. CHRISTMAS. PARTY.


VOLUNTEERED!!!


As in

no one coerced him,

he was not under threat of pain,

his family was not under threat of pain,

he was not under the threat of death,

his family was not under the threat of death,

no one was blackmailing him,

no one was threatening to take away all his clamps,

his family was not being held hostage with the threat of a hideous, horrible death if he did not volunteer,

he seemed sane when he left for Young Men's that night - with a meeting afterwards,

and he did not seem altered in any way, or disabled or drunk ...


apparently, though, he was under the influence of STUPID!!!


Why did he do this horrifying thing?

I will tell you.

A few years ago the Ward Christmas Party had a presentation of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and it was INCREDIBLY hilarious and wonderful. It was narrated, and they had props, there was a Grinch and someone hiding behind the sled using a sock puppet dog as the dog ... OK, so ... you might have had to be there to get the full impact of its incredible-ness and hilarity, but trust me - it was VERY good!

So ... in his infinite wisdom, he decided he wanted 'to see it again' as it were so he took charge.

When he told me this that evening when he came home ... then saw my face ... he quickly said "You don't have to do anything! I have it under control - I will get a committee. I PROMISE you don't have to do anything!"

I saw one Sunday that it was being advertised in the Ward Sunday Flyer (what ever that is you get in Sacrament Meeting - WHAT is it called?) as "Christmas in Whoville".


OK.



Hmmm.


Me: "Gary - who is making 'Whoville'?

Gary: "Me."

Me: "Are you serious?"

Gary: "Yes! How hard could it be? I need to buy some wood, get the book, project a page of it with our overhead projector on the wall, trace the lines and paint it."

Me: "Okaaaaayyyyy"


I ordered the book.


He bought the wood.


The book came and there are actually no pictures in it! Well, no REAL pictures per se - just some squiggly crap ... did you know that? We decided that all of our childhood memories of The Grinch must have come from the movie.


So ... I ordered the movie.


I figured out how to do a screen capture while the movie was playing on the computer. Then put it in Word. Then right click and save it as a .jpg file.

Gary said he would describe to me what he needed and faster than the speed of a quark - I said:

"I don't THINK so ... this is YOUR baby ..."


So he got on his computer and screen captured:

1) The sled

2) The fireplace

3) Whoville from the Grinch's perspective


I was KIND ENOUGH to fiddle around with them in Photoshop a bit, but really didn't help him much at all.

He printed out the pages and off to the craft store he went ...


to buy paint!



NOW:

Day one of PROJECT WHOVILLE has ended. I wandered outside to see how things were progressing and I was surprised at how much he had done!

He had painted the background for the sled:


He needs, now to take the above piece of wood and turn it into this:


I'm thinking it do-able. I photoshopped out the Grinch and the bag and filled in the spots with the appropriate color. Gary drew in some black lines. I made it into a .jpg file and put it on something portable for him and printed it out. It is not great, but should do the job. Now he just needs to figure out if he can actually project the .jpg file from his laptop onto the piece of wood using our projector and trace the lines.

Then paint it ...



He decided that after painting the sled background and the Whoville background (coming up later ...) he was sick and tired of painting and decided that it would be best if he BUILT a fireplace. So he laid out the pieces and asked me if it looked like a Whoville fireplace? I was surprised that the answer was 'Yes'. He is using a piece of garbage up there for the mantle and it looks sort of Whovilly ...

So he will just paint the whole thing and attach it to the board when he is done. Seems easy enough.

Somehow, everything under the line I drew there will not be showing, so just in case you are wondering ... no, it is not a freakishly tall and skinny fireplace ...


Not an exact match, but it will do:


And here is Whoville:


Yep! My husband is going to turn that piece of wood up there into this:


Let be clear -

THIS:

INTO THIS:

Oh, yeah ... it's gonna happen.

Have I mentioned that Gary and I both, put together possess EXACTLY -10% of artistic ability?

Yes, that is NEGATIVE TEN.

Between the two of us.

Seriously, I CANNOT impress enough to you the actual ineptitude we possess in this area. Stick figures are hard ...


So .....


THIS?

INTO THIS?




Dude ... you are one VERY TALENTED man ...





but I gotta tell you right now ...








seriously, start looking for a very nice, giving, artistically inclined person to make you a Whoville before it is too late ...










I'm just sayin' ....