Hercule Poirot Would be so Dissapointed ...

Was gonna use Nancy Drew, but hardly remember her - finished all her books in second grade ...
so it's my all time favourite detective: Monsieur Poirot who's gonna be on my case. A little rusty there too, since I finished all the Agatha Christie's books in fifth grade - but have re-read a few. He would be disappointed, disgusted, mortified and well, probably just wouldn't speak to me ... he's not French - but maybe the Belgians are just as bad about Americans.

Why am I rambling on about the famous egg shaped headed detective? Because I stupidly, idiotically, remorsefully told someone last week that 'no problem, I can help ...' FAMOUS LAST WORDS. As Bonne would say: "Lori ... BOUNDARIES!!!" But I had the time and she is a dear friend - the person asking.

So what am I doing? Other being up to my neck and a wee bit higher in the year 1980? (This could have brought on the gymnastic rant also ...). I have been tasked with finding souls and informing them of our *cough* thirty *cough* eth year reunion. I don't even attend these reunions - but thought - how hard can it be?

So - I get a list of names. A. List. Of. Names. And I'm supposed to find them. When asked how - I was told "I don't know". So first thing I did was get on Facebook and ask every single solitary person that came up in my high school for the class of 1980 to be my friend. This is a big step for me folks - I DON'T ASK PEOPLE TO BE MY FRIEND! Why? Plain and simple - fear of rejection. And back in High School - I was normal - I was Student Body Vice President - so you would think that this would be a breeze - people LIKED me, people thought I was normal ... shy, but normal. But two people have not clicked that box agreeing to be my friend AND I AM MORTIFIED. It is so High School - and I SO don't need to go back there....

So - I realized that the list I was given had names that cuddled my own name. I saw some similar names on FB with photos and wondered if they were the lost soul I was trying to reach - so I got my yearbook out to compare photos (which after 30 years is not all that easy ...). This is how I noticed that they were by my name - since I was on the page that they all seemed to fall on:

Did you find me? Ha! I am actually on the page twice ... a big no no. I was yearbook editor and had laid down the law that no cheerleaders, no student body officer, no class officer was to get an additional photo in the section - they were covered enough throughout the book - but to my chagrin - they snuck this one of me with a snake saying "I was not afraid of anything" through ... on purpose. Butts. (Lovely page though, no? That is an editor proud of her staff speaking ...)

So - I decided to bite the bullet and see what I could do with what I had ... and Mark and Anne - it is just hurtful you don't want to be my friend - but I AM SO OVER IT! I will bulk ask everyone if they have any contact info for The Lost Ones as soon as I figure out how to send out a bulk message to a group based solely on the fact that they belong to another group ... and are my friend ...

But - I am the Internet Research Queen! I should be able to do this! I worked at Shell Services International when the year 2000 clocked over and I was tasked with researching anything with a piece of electronics in it in our laboratories at the refineries to see if they were going to lose there minds, start World War III or just initiate the END OF THE WORLD. Very tedious, very interesting, and very helpful in figuring out how to make all those nifty search engines on the web do your bidding. (And interestingly enough - an alarm that alarmed when an odourless gas was leaked into the lab - which in real life, scarily meant: "Hold your breath immediately, run to the gas masks and put one on! Oh, and by the way ... one breath in and you are dead" - was going to go to sleep at 12:00am January 1st, 2000 - so we caught it ... ONE thing.)

So I went back to my trusty search engines - and they were in fine form. Worked great. Brenda lives in Orem, Lorie lives in Smithfield - (what's up with not moving more than 50 miles away from where you grew up ... where is the adventure? The change of scenery? The 'not embarrassing the rest of your family who still live there'? ...) but, when you click on 'get e-mail address, get address, get phone number - you know ... anything that would enable you to contact the person - it takes you to a page a tells you that for $19.95 it will be more than happy to e-mail you the info. Grrrrr!!

So I went in, cut up my cheesecake, plopped 1/4 of it into a bowl and drove it to a friend who was coveting it (when I told her I needed cheesecake like 'I need a hole in my head' she said she needed it like she needed oxygen ... so it's really good I took her a piece!). Came home, twirled around in my office chair for about 10 minutes wondering what Jessica Fletcher would have done in this situation? ... twirled some more ... Kinsey Milhone? .... twirl, twirl, twirl, Alex Delaware? ... twirl, twirl, twirl, ... Heironymus Bosch? ... gave up and went in the kitchen to let the dog out.

Noticed the knife I had used to cut the cheesecake was dirty so I rinsed it with the sprayer getting water EVERYWHERE, including all over a plant that I had forgot to water and was rehydrating and rehabilitating on my sink edge ... and thought 'what a lovely photo op' and what a lovely way to avoid stalking people ...

So my 'Drips and Drops' series:

Tried to get serious AGAIN. More spinning. More dicking with Facebook just because I am intrigued that people will play with imaginary zoos and farms at 2:00 in the morning ... but who am I to judge - I dick with photos through the entire night - they can have their pretend animals ...

About an hour of accomplishing absolutely nothing, I decided I really hadn't made Jessie creepy yet, so ... why the hell not?

And this, if you have been reading my diatribe, might have run out of oooomph - so hit the refresh button - come on - DO IT!

Told ya ... a little creepy.

So - should I be stalking people? Is a class reunion enough of an excuse to cyberstalk a person? Wonder if they don't want to be found? Who am I to judge? I am not sure ... OK, I am NOT SURE because I don't know how to do it -I'd be RIGHT THERE stalking away if it were free and all ...

What to do




What to do




Photoshop's siren call is singing to me yet again ....

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Kay - felt guilty for 'creepy Jessie':




And since I haven't pissed Ryan off in, oh, a day or so: