I CAN'T HELP IT ...

... IT'S HYSTERICAL!!!

Now, I know that I have confessed that I read Dooce.com if you feel someone funny and rather irreverent to my faith needs to be 'confessed' but I just logged on and she has / had decided after giving natural childbirth to their second child, that she would rather not do it again, so now it is time for her husband to keep his end of the bargain. The link to it and only it (won't get any other naughty pieces - kidding she is rather tame) is: Forever a Family of Four. And this is why I love to read her - she writes so well, and you know, she only gets one chance to write up her husbands vasectomy ... and made me laugh out loud - and that is saying something ... today. OK, and upon reading it again - I am very accusomed to European TV and we are talking about a VASECTOMY so call and yell at me if you get offended!

She then pastes this little bit in - which I find incredibly funny and not at all like Gary I might add:




I think I have a 'man cold' ... I WANT A BELL!!!

Countdown!!!

In less than 24 hours, I will be picking Gary up at the airport ...

I had better:

1) Stop throwing up, shivering and whatnot
2) Go get some groceries
3) Throw the dog off the bed
(Never gonna happen ...)

New list:
1) Get out of bed
2) Drive to the airport
3) Tell Gary where the Krogers is ...

... everything is under control.

3 1/2 Year Old Guilt

Bad dreams.

Berlin. I found myself back in KaDeWe (Kaufhaus des Westens) a huge mall (2nd largest in Europe - only Harrods is larger) where I bought a Swarovski vase and a Mont Blanc pen (yes, Gary, that's right - I bought a pen ...). See, the rule was (my self imposed rule) that I could only buy a 'famous' item if I was actually in the country that produced said item. I was cheating - I had been to Austria - briefly - but no where to buy any Swarovski - thus the cheating. This part is true to real life - the dream is duplicating what I did to a 'T' except I was alone and not with Gary and Ryan like the first time (but I was not with them, of course, while buying my treasures - I can only ignore Gary's eye rolling for so long).

I don't have any good photos of the mall - this was the best I could do:

And then things go south - and backwards. I see: Gedächtniskirche' it is across the street (true) but hadn't I been looking at it before going into the mall? (true). This time, I cross the street, holding my vase (I guess bags were not an option and my pen must have been in my pocket). It is a church that was bombed during WWII and was left in the condition it was in as a reminder 'Never again'. The building next to it is a memorial. It is a little freaky - right there across the street from KaDeWe and in the middle of downtown, but - there you go.

In my dream I go into the bombed out church - something we didn't do on the day we toured Berlin (the MOST depressing city I have yet or probably ever will visit). It is full of ghosts - I think - they look like those photos of WWII prisoners of war - the ones so thin and emiciated they are the walking dead. They are reaching for me, and pointing and I don't know what they are trying to tell me. It is freaking me out.

I notice they are pointing to the vase - I try to hand it to one of them and they shrink away like I was trying to burn them. I am confused, and scared and alone and I don't know what is wrong. It occurs to me some time later that they are offended by the vase - and I am ashamed to have such a beautiful thing in such an ugly place. I hold my arm straight out and drop it. I shatters into a million pieces. The ghosts thank me in the way ghosts who don't speak your language can say 'thank you' to you in a dream: you just know. And then they are gone - and I am standing in the bombed out church all alone.

I wake up.

What the hell was that?

Birds and Billabongs

I am doing catch up on some stuff from our Sydney trip. We had a fun time on Saturday distrupting an entire harbour and feeding the sea gulls walnuts I had stolen from the executive lounge that morning for the purpose of feeding birds. Gary would count to three and toss and I would try to get the shot with the bird catching it. I was generally early - thus the walnut piece still in the air (just in case you couldn't spot them I helpfully drew a lovely arrow ....). Had my camera not been on 'take crap photos that are blue' these would look more natural ... damn.

Got one with it in his mouth (very talented bird, by the way):

The day before I was enthralled with the Parrots that were wandering the Botanical Gardens in flocks.

I love the 'my hair is mussed' shot - a gust of wind hit him:

On our way back to the hotel, we ran across a flock of parrots eating something on the ground. Other people were taking photos, so I started off quite a ways away, not wanting to spook them, but these are shots without my telephoto lens - they were pretty much like McDonald's pigeons but they weren't begging. Apparently they are vegetarians since they were eating grass!

Something spooked them, I forget what, and off they flew - I am pretty sure these are my only shots of a 'flock' of parrots!

OK, and billabong is an 'Austrain English' word that means small lake - but I don't know what the instrument he is playing is called and 1) it is the first word that came to mind ... hmmm? .... 2) it sounded good with the word 'birds':

I am sure I will have more Sydney and Australian crap to post - just busy playing with my website - found ghost town photos of San Antonio - no people at the Alamo and the River walk - had to play with them today ...

Travel Agent ... part II

Things aren't going well on the New Zealand Front (yes, this is war ...). If I had to live my life as a travel agent ... I would seriously kill myself.

Ah, and yes, I know - this is the part where the reader is thinking "She's such a spoiled bitch. Here she is getting to travel and see all parts of the world and she just whines, and whines and whines about it"

So my disclaimer: "I KNOW VERY WELL I AM A SPOILED BITCH (note the potty mouth comes out when I am uber-frustrated) BUT THIS IS MY BLOG AND I FEEL A RANT COMING ON ... y'all don't have to read it! (And I feel like crap - had to cancel a lunch with ... friends!!! because I have been throwing up ... maybe it is all nerves?)

So, todays goal: figure out how long it takes to get from point A to point B and plan where we will be sleeping each night. I'm thinking - easy enough, I already have the last day figured out since our flight is at 6:15am - we will be staying in Christchurch near the airport - I high five Charlie - one down only 6 more to go:

It's not working out, so I decide to do the second thing I have to do today - rent the SUV. I call the company where Gary has an uber-elite status.

It makes me go through the menu for outside the US and Canada and that I want to make a new reservation:

"...Car Rental how may I help you?"

"I need to make a reservation for a SUV on Nov 24th at the airport in Christchurch, New Zealand"

"Let me get you to the international desk, dear"

"OK, thanks"

"...Car Rental how may I help you?"

"I need to make a reservation for a SUV on Nov 24th at the airport in Christchurch, New Zealand"

"Let me get you to the international desk"

"Um, I thought I was there, OK"

"...Car Rental how may I help you?"

"I need to make a reservation for a SUV on Nov 24th at the airport in Christchurch, New Zealand"

"Let me get you to the international desk"

"Do you really think you can, because your the third person to tell me..." (click)

(Indian accent) "... Car Rental how may I help you?" (this is a good sign - I believe I have been transferred to India and am now on the phone with 'slumdogs buddy')

"I need to make a reservation for a SUV on Nov 24th at the airport in Christchurch, New Zealand"

"No problem, when will you be returning?"

"Same location, 5:00am on Dec 1st"

"I'm sorry, but that location does not open until 7:00am"

"But our flight is at 6:15am"

"I'm sorry, but that location does not open until 7:00am"

"Don't they have a key drop or something like that?"

"No, Ma'am, they are open from 7 to 7 on that day, you will need to drop it off at 7:00pm the night before"

...

This is not a good sign folks. Things are not going even remotely well. At this point I totally expect us to all die from exposure somewhere along the way because I miscalculated how long it took to get from point C to point D and we run out of gas, stranded in the New Zealand wilderness ...

The up side to all this? We will be taking some KICK ASS beautiful photos as we are dying ....

A Day Full of Angels

The Children's Program in Church is probably my favorite Sunday out of all the Sundays of the year (except when I was Primary President or the counselor over the program ... then? ... not so much!). In our ward - we have a passel of children and I'm talking 150 - 200 (Court?). They did such a good job today I seriously couldn't NOT get a bit of the singing recorded so I could listen to it again. And I wanted all the Primary leaders to know how loud it was clear in the back where I was.

Thanks for making my day:

Had to leave a few minutes early and leave the 'passel of angels' for the one 'angel' (I will have to find my writing about Jessie where I refer to her as an angel but - quoting a movie - 'not that kind of angel' - it is very fitting for her!). Had a good afternoon with Jessie. She repeatedly made me laugh - which some of the times is not the case. Some times are more stressful than others - but today was a day full of angels!

A Public Service Announcement ...

Folks, I'm here to tell you that speeding is just not worth it. I have literally spent HOURS taking care of this - and, well today was apparently designated the day to take the online Defensive Driving course. I was going to do it before I went to Australia, but decided to just lay about recuperating from a collapsed lung and such.

The weird thing? I have 'test anxiety'. I always have. I fret, and study and stew and study some more. I texted Ryan today that I was worried - his reply: 'there is no honor roll in defensive driving, mom'. Gary, when he called and I told him to wish me luck ... refused! Said it was no big deal - but ... how mean! Before he clicked off I heard a quiet 'luck'! I have always been like this - worry ... study with others ... then get 100% and everyone hates you, but the worrying is real - it is not an act and I don't know how to fix it. If I can't take a Defensive Driving test without the worry - college is going to be extremely stressful! (Yes, I have been planning on taking courses but things keep getting in the way - like Australia and, well - I will have to take tests ... and GET GRADED ...).

Still - tests - don't like them - gotta figure out how to fix this. Had I known a trained monkey could have taken this and passed, well - I still would have worried ... what's up with that?

If I start on my master's or another bachelors or just a class here as I was planning - I am thinking I could be in trouble unless I get my 'issues' sorted out! Suggestions?

Turning the day around ...

Had a good 'rest of the day'. Spent most of my 'new found' time re-coding my website of nothing to become my website of photography while listening to the Wicked album. I have put on some slide shows and it will be fun to add more as I go through my photos. Nothing like writing some code that turns your website around!

Then, remembered a photo my Dad sent me - he saw it and thought I could do something like it:

And, soon - I will probably completely copy it, just with my own flowers! But right now - my head is in Australia ... so:

So, all my DVDs are still in their shrink wrapped containers ... who knows when I am going to get the time to watch TV? Too busy playing!

Lori and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

And it's only noon!

OK, maybe not as bad as Alexander's (in the book he gets gum in his hair - I DESPISE gum - anywhere - even in my mouth), but it has not started off all that great. Won't go into all the boring details - just tired, a wee bit off (OK, more than a wee bit) and pissed ... not necessarily in that order. Most things making my day not so great don't make the blogable 'cut' but a few do (OK one doesn't but I want to vent so will share anyway - and it is very wrong and childish of me):

1) My facebook account won't work. I am hoping this is a temporary thing - it says they are doing maintenance and that makes me suspicious since it is during the day and that is unusual for a large site like that to 'go down' during the day (unless it is hackers). The last thing I tried to do was make a photo album of the Bone Church (Sedlec Ossuary) in Kutna Hora, Czech Republic - just for fun and as I hit 'save album' it said I had NO PHOTO ALBUMS at all - so I am waiting for it to come back up to see if I lost all of my albums ... I will be very sad. So frustrated.

2) Woke up at 4:30am and couldn't go back to sleep and that has me irritable.

3) Since things were a downer I BAKED MUFFINS! I know - me, the woman who does not cook nor bake - but there is no food in the house (my theory is I won't eat it if it isn't here) and they sounded good. Of course it was from a mix (blueberry) and they taste old. Yuck. Could be because the box has been sitting in there for probably two years ... but I wanted some!!!

4) My mental health meter is not in the 'good' range, but I won't go into all the gory details here.

5) My cleaning lady is having a baby this month and so (duh) not cleaning - so no excuse to pick up ... and as I look around - I am in a panic - didn't think I could mess up the house so badly (OK, if you unpack your suitcase in the office and just leave it all on the floor to step over - yeah - I guess it is going to look like this) and with no reason to pick it up, I just stare at it getting more and more depressed. It will be clean before Gary comes next Friday - but I will bet you I clean up, oh, lets say next Thursday. Can you say cesspool?

6) Was walking around a corner and somehow miscalculated and slammed my pinky toe into to wall. Ouch! Cursing! Hopping! I'm sure it's not broken, just feels like it.

7) Took a nap at about 9:30 - ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP! Was dreaming about my time as yearbook Editor my Senior year of High School - a good dream - usually I have nightmares and the phone woke me up. It was a junk call. Not happy. Lay there, almost got back to sleep, and it rings again - another junk call! Fell asleep - now dreaming about yelling at someone on the phone and, yep the phone rings - junk call - and I decided my dream was prophetic and yelled at them. Man I wish I had one of those phones you can slam down - you just don't get the satisfaction of pushing the 'off' button .... so I threw it against a wall ...

8) After hours of working on a newsletter I make - discovered - quite by accident (thankfully) that my services are no longer required. I didn't do the one last month because someone had offered to do it and I was super busy - should have seen the writing on the wall - but you know me: stupid, stupid, stupid. Frustrated ... sighed and hit the 'delete' button on my pretty November heading and the rest of the work I had done. I just would have been nice to have been told ... you know? (And this is not the place to vent about this, very inappropriate - I just may have to break my 'no delete' rule and pull number 8 - but then - you won't know will you?)

But, no worries! Was catching up on TV series purchases that I did not have and Mr. Amazon kindly dropped them off 10 minutes ago:



Plus the Wicked soundtrack (can you sing 'No Good Deed Goes Unpunished? ...)!

Oh, yeah - I'm gonna be productive today (man ... House isn't going to be here till ... like, Tuesday - I am sure I will be done by then ...) ... you bet ... gonna get right on that list of things to do ....

A Standoff With a Two Year Old ...

Yeah, yeah, I don't have a two year old, but Charlie is creepy smart - it FEELS like I have a two year old ... albeit a very hairy one.

She likes to play bouncy ball, as I have mentioned and I told her today that it is too wet. She understands a lot of what I say - since she does what I am asking her to do, but she refused to acknowledge this. She would jump up and down and make me follow her to the drawer with the balls in it on the ruse she needed to go out and do her business several times. I told her that her feet would get muddy - she refused to understand this one also and kept it up and kept it up, until ...

... I cracked and got a ball. We went out and after about 5 throws her feet were soaking and I told her this was 'the last time' which she does understand and runs to the door instead of me after getting the ball. This time? Apparently she is feeling ripped off because she is sitting in the middle of the backyard, ball in her mouth and refuses to come inside.

So - happily it is just a dog that refuses to listen to me and not a toddler - because I am thinking she is sleeping out there tonight with her ball ...

A few shots of Charlie lounging away on her favorite couch set. The second one just baffles the mind that she could actually be comfortable. She let me take 3 shots with my phone, walk over get the camera, turn it on and take 3 more with a flash and never moved.

Anyone want a dog?

I Just Might Have Paid Attention ...

Flown on a lot of planes lately. NEVER listen to the safety instructions - or any of the other times they make announcements or give instructions - even when they tell me I am flying on a different type of aircraft each time. My theory? I ain't lucky enough to actually survive a plane emergency - or that what they are telling me is not exactly going to be all that useful when it comes to crunch time - so I continue to read my book, do what ever ... I eventually at some point in the flight figure out where the nearest exit door is to me ... and that is the extent of my safety precautions while flying.

This? I just might have listened:

.

.

.

And just a side note - the airlines are getting quite 'creative' in trying to get people to listen to the safety instructions (I know ... that was not the safety instructions he wasn't holding a seat belt buckle to show me how to undo it - because, like, that has always been a problem for me ...). I read an article, complete with photos in Australia about ... I think Air New Zealand. They were so desperate to get their passengers to listen to the safety instructions - they made up an entire flight crew (men and women) - completely naked - into flight attendants and officers with body paint (they looked exactly like the uniforms they normally wear). They then filmed the instructions - noting that these guys were only 'wearing' body paint. You really, really had to look (OK, yeah I was checking things out) to see that they did not have anything on. I'm thinking that: a) it was filmed entirely from the waist up and b) that they had the complete and total attention of 100% of the men ... women I'm not sure ....

I just found the flight film (is Air New Zealand) ... sorry guys - they don't show as much as they did in the photographs in the articles - but still amazing (that they weren't smiling more than they were trying to film this ...)

I Even Approve of the Beer Selection ...

Made you look!

Seriously - I know most of my readers know that due to my religion, I don't drink alcohol, but due to my actions - probably wonder about this...

Here's the thing ...

Went to the new Krogers for the first time this morning and saw this bicycle:

It is the logo for New Belgium Brewing - a micro(?) brewery in Colorado (didn't find the beer, didn't look that long - but I can't imagine they would have their bike prominently displayed without selling the beer). My sister happens to work there. She can get one bike like this a year and my oldest sister got it this year - I am seriously jealous!

We have a deeper relationship with the company:

Charlie is their 'unofficial mascot'.

When we were moving back from Norway, we knew we were going to be in a hotel for an extended period of time looking for a house, so I shipped Charlie to Marci, my sister, to watch until we had a house with a yard. She already had been watching our boxer, Aggie - our dog we had before moving to Norway. Due to the 6 month quarantine in Norway (they are a rabies free country and take it very seriously) - we did not take her with us, and Marci wouldn't give her back (we knew she wouldn't) so now she had both our dogs - she is a good sport.

New Belgium Brewery let you take dogs to work, but apparently Aggie is not a dog who enjoys the work environment. Charlie, on the other hand thrived there! She went with the people touring the brewery, she wandered around and everyone fell in love with her and gave her doggie treats. She greeted guests at the front door. Marci said there was a gruff old Vietnam War vet who wouldn't speak to anyone - just did his job and went home .... until Charlie came along - and he became an entirely different person. He only spoke to Charlie, though.

Charlie has a way with people - and if you don't just love her to pieces - something is wrong with you! When it was time to ship her to us in our new house, she had another employee come and ask her how much it would cost to keep her. Marci said, wisely, that we weren't going to sell her for any amount. She said it was a bit lonely after Charlie left and sent me some photos:

Charlie in Marci's office


Playing 'guard dog' while visitors look on.


Posing with the hats (note the bike)

My favorite photo and Charlies favorite place to hang.


Back to Kroger. In addition to my beer selection approval, the flowers are to die for! They had this huge fall bouquet for $10.00 - who could pass that up?

Their are so many they don't fit very well in one vase and I am not the best flower arranger - but I think I will need to put them in a few vases and spread throughout the house.

I will try to restrain myself from posting any more photos of my fall flowers!

The only thing - I drink a fruit smoothie every morning (ok, I'm addicted) - and they had the right brand, and had tons and tons of every flavor but the one I drink: Mighty Mango - they were totally out - dang!

I will get over it and maybe even stop wandering / taking photos in the beer section ....

Question ...

Home.

Getting back into my usual routine: avoiding all real work and playing on my computer.

Will eventually have to start being productive - but I am slowly working it in - in 5 minute chunks throughout the day ...

Charlie is acting like a two year old child who was left with strangers for 3 weeks. She is 'clingy' - as far as a dog can be. If she could grab on to my leg and just let me drag her around the house, I am pretty sure she would let me. She has to settle with sitting under my desk and laying her head in my lap looking up at me when I am sitting and following me everywhere I go when I am up. I am really hoping she gets over this soon or I am banishing her to the backyard!

So .... since I am not going through my 4 foot stack of mail, doing the laundry, catching up Quicken, buying airline tickets that need to be purchased or planning our New Zealand trip - guess what I am doing?

Yeah - Photoshop.

And I have a question - it has bothered me for a long time. I can change a photograph drastically with photoshop. Sometimes this feels like a 'fix' - probably something that some hobbyist could do in their dark room years ago - some not.

Like this photo from Stockholm, Sweden:

It was a dreary day and apparently I was drunk since it is horrendously crooked, thus:

I can't help that it was a hazy day and if I can pull the color out of the buildings - than so be it.

Then I create this beautiful panorama of Sydney, Australia and the foot path is bugging me - it pulls the eye away from the main focal points: downtown and the Opera House and Harbor Bridge:

So ...

My question - are they both still 'photographs'? I feel more comfortable saying that Stockholm is a 'photo' I took. I might mention that it is 'touched up' but in my photography books and Photoshop books, they mention that as they read in their photos, there are certain things that they automatically do to all their photos - and they don't mention that this would make them 'touched up'.


But the panorama? I would say it is a fake photograph - it doesn't exist - not unless some construction work was done to remove a footpath. Can I say it is my photo? Is it what I see often - a 'retouched' photo (the 're' probably the stuff mentioned above)? Is it fake? Is it garbage?



Just curious ...

How to piss off an entire plane full of people, screw someone over royally, and come THIS close to punching someone in the face ... all in 20 hours...

It’s been a long 20 hours (I am currently on the Continental flight typing on my baby laptop) since first hailing a taxi to take me to the airport. I went early and Gary had given me a Quantas Executive Lounge pass for the airport First / Business Class Lounge so I hung out in there with free food, all the diet coke I could drink and free wireless network.

The flight from Australia to LA was nice (I had an aisle seat and that is apparently enough for me – OK, not really – refer to below). I was sitting by the sweetest kid – he was friendly, helpful and called me ‘darling’ throughout the entire flight.

Looking back on my first flight to Australia – I really, really had a hard time and went more than a wee bit nuts. Now that this 14 hour flight is getting to be routine, for survival I have discovered a weapon for my ‘mental health arsenal’:

The Personal In Flight Entertainment System

You have your own personal screen in the seat in front of you. And it has a huge menu of options:

-It contains about 6 categories of movies with from about 10 - 15 movies in some down to 5 of 6 in ones of the more obscure categories.
-It contains TV shows – there are about 10 – 12 categories (I especially like the documentaries) and 5 or 6 shows in each – some with 4 – 5 of a series.
-It contains a CD collection: albums in Pop, Rock, Alternative, Classical, Australian, Country and I think one more …. Maybe Jazz?
-It contains a set of games, but I have never delved into that category to know what it contains.
-It gives you a screen on how far you have traveled, time till arrival, current time at origin, current time at destination … and for some odd reason the temperature outside – around negative 56F – I guess so that we can ponder how long we think we can avoid hypothermia and death should a cabin door rip off … or …. something equally exciting.
-It has a couple more categories that elude me now.

So – I start a movie – and if it is interesting enough – 2 hours seem to go by in half the time. Listen to some new albums, relax – just seems faster.

So – when we were up in the air and my Entertainment Center was not fully functional – (It actually said “Currently Not Fully Functional”) I started to panic. I could feel ‘crazy’ setting in …

There were movies playing, but you couldn’t start them yourselves they were just playing randomly on channels, no start times, no name of the movie – pretty much just noise. Me not being a surfer DESPISE hitting on a movie in the middle and starting to watch – so not a good deal at all. I tried – I really did. I watched Angels and Demons since I had read the book so knew what was going on (if they didn’t butcher the book too much) and it looked like it had sort of just started.

After that, I checked to see if it was working correctly... no … still wasn’t. Full on panic – and we are only in hour three.

I then decided to take a ‘lap’ around the plane for something to do and calm me down and noticed that 2 of the 4 sections of the aircraft (very huge plane) had systems that were working – I could see people pulling up menus – which I could not.

PISSING OFF AN ENTIRE PLANE FULL OF PEOPLE:

So … the next time a steward came my way – I asked him about it. In the section I was in, people were making do all over the place – I could see movies playing – but all at the same place – with the menu – you are all starting your movie when you want so never all in sync. He said he would look into it.

Suddenly, all of the individual ‘TV’ screens went blank and a collective moan went up. I shrunk into my seat a little bit. Then the PA system comes on and it is announced that they are trying to fix a problem and have to reboot their Entertainment System and that they would not be getting back to where they were, they would need to start over, and it should take about 10 minutes.

The guy across the aisle from me glared right at me and I shrunk even lower. But … I needed my variety! I needed choices! I NEEDED THE BEINNING OF MOVIES! I needed the CD’s! I needed to know TO THE MINUTE how much time I had left on that freaking plane! People seemed PISSED! I don’t think all of them knew that there was more to the system than just movies randomly playing on channels.

I was really hoping this would work – that crazy thing … and now the guy next to me who heard me ‘telling’.

But, no worries, it booted correctly and I was able to watch and listen to whatever I wanted, when I wanted to, and got to see the beginnings! The crazy subsided and soon I was in the mindless, remote holding, TV ‘zone’.

ABANDONING MY NEIGHBOR BUDDY:

In the course of my conversations with my new friend, I: a) never bothered to ask his name and b) found out he was also flying to Houston on the same flight I was on, and then on to his birth place – Bogotá, Columbia. We noticed that the plane was getting in late – they had to go around some bad weather and I knew we were in trouble – our connection was tight – only 2 hours.

I know – 2 hours - sounds easy enough, but here is how it goes:

You are scum since you don’t have a Gold card like Gary thus picking close to the back of the plane so that you can board first (after the likes of Gold card carrying members like Gary, I mean) so that there will be room for your equipment roll on: two laptops, two cameras, hard drives – checking it because they ran out of overhead bin space is NOT an option. Thus, after landing – in the back of the plane, waiting for roughly 1000 people to deplane before you. Then you queue up for passport control – US Passports in one queue and everyone else in another. Once you are through that line of 1000 people that got off the plane in front of you, you have to collect your luggage – you are entering the country and you have to clear customs. So you wait for your luggage, take it and queue up behind all the lucky ones that got their bags before you – and go through customs... After that, you need to walk from terminal 4 to terminal 6 – roughly ¾ a mile. Then you queue up at the Continental check in line and check in - wait for the 200 or so in front of you and check in. Get your boarding pass and then head to the queue for security – which is nightmarish at LAX. It is right by an escalator and you generally have a good 200 people in front of you there – with the guys checking your id against your boarding pass being super thorough and super slow. Get your boarding pass stamped and up the escalator to the queue waiting to go through the security check (it sort of reminds me of Disneyland – they hide half the line upstairs …). After that – you make your way to the appropriate gate.

Two hours isn’t sounding so easy now, is it?

We were a half an hour late – giving us 1 hour and a half. I walked him through what he needed to do – twice - and then we parted at the Passport lanes – me having a US passport and him not.

It was the last time I saw him. I am worried – did I give him bad information? He was heading on to Bogotá – maybe he didn’t need to collect his bag. I have these visions of him still standing by the baggage carousel – waiting, waiting, waiting. I feel horrible.

I, on the other hand actually made it. Got clever and begged (and tipped) the curbside check in guys to check me in even though I didn’t have baggage – thus skipping one line. They were boarding when I got there, and he just isn’t here – I have walked the plane. I hope he makes it to Bogotá.

GONNA THROTTLE SOMEONE:

As I sit here on the flight to Houston typing, I am getting more and more annoyed. The lady across the aisle from me has a tolerance level of ZERO for the two children behind her. Their mother keeps shushing them, but they are just being kids. Twice now the lady across the aisle has slammed down her Elle magazine and physically turned all the way around in her seat and peered between the seats at them – peered is probably not exactly what she is doing. I want to throttle her. I am tired, achy, irritable, have a headache - and the kids are not really doing anything but, well … being kids. Things might just get ugly here in a bit.

I want to tell her she doesn’t know how bad it can be and to count her blessings. She could have been on our flight from Norway to New York (8 hour flight) when Jessie decided ½ hour in that she wanted to get off – and screamed ‘get off’ for approximately 7 and ½ hours. Or the time we were in Business Class moving over there – all business men and rich people – and us slumming – with a very loud handicapped daughter. Oh the glares we got! But odds are I am just going to lean over and belt her … hey I PISSED OFF AN ENTIRE PLANE … she’s nothing!


But soon I will be home and will get some rest and will stop bitching about everything. Problem is – right now … I’ve got nuthin’ but time ...

Perfect Moments

I lead an ordinary life. From the outside looking in, it might seem unusual, unconventional but it’s my life and feels ordinary to me. It is full of moments. Fun moments, tired moments, lonely moments, happy moments, sick moments, tragic moments, elated moments, spiritual moments … and perfect moments.

Perfect Moments. What is a perfect moment? For a perfectionist like me – it is a very elusive moment in time that goes beyond ‘great’ or ‘outstanding’ or ‘it can’t get better than this’ and lets the person experiencing this ‘perfect moment’ glimpse a tiny bit of heaven.

I was thinking of perfect moments as I was falling asleep last night after taking our night shots of the Sydney Opera House and the first thing I thought of was the first time Jessie said ‘I love you’ to me. Seems like a ‘nice’ moment – even a ‘cherished’ moment – but ‘perfect’? When your daughter is 21, mentally handicapped and the event occurred just last year – yes … it becomes a perfect moment … the moment I finally get to add that small little word to the end of something I had been saying to Jessie for 21 years: “I love you, too”. Do I have a picture of a perfect moment? No – that’s not how it works – I have fairly perfect photos, but no picture of a perfect moment. Wouldn’t that be nice?

********


Sydney. Gary and I head out to take night shots of the opera house – me – because I am a photography fanatic and Gary because he loves me. We set up the tripod and I start snapping away. We move our position a few times, trading off a fixed, flat spot to set our camera and the tripod between us.

Photo title: "Ghosts"

We then decide to climb some stairs and get a better view of Harbor Bridge and get some shots of that - so up we go. I set up the tripod again and started snapping away. It was dark, and to shoot a clear shot on a dark night, you need to use the timer - because you hitting the button is enough to jiggle the camera and fuzz up your shot. So we got used to the cadence of the night - hit the button - an 8 second countdown depicted by ever faster soft beeps, the click of the aperture opening - then at least a 20 second wait while the camera absorbs the light, then another click of the aperture closing. A second later - your shot is displayed on the back of the camera.

Over and over again: Press, beep, beep .... beep, click, wait, wait, wait, click .... photo!

We are done.

We take the tripod base off my camera, put our cameras away, fold up the tripod and off to the motel we go. It had been a long day and I was tired, but happy – and excited to look at my photos since you can’t really tell if they are out of focus until you get them on a computer screen. We are walking along the top of the Cruise Ship terminal and Gary sees a set of steps leading up – towards the location of the Opera House. He says “I wonder what this view would look like”. I reply “It is probably gated off and we are done, let’s go”. As usual, he ignores me and starts climbing the stairs. I remember thinking that there was no way I was going up there – as I started climbing the steps behind him …


It’s a good view of the Opera House. Gary says – “Get your camera out – take a few shots”. I grumble “OK” and start unpacking everything. Get the tripod set up, my camera on it and it won’t focus. I was frustrated. Calmly Gary suggests we switch to manual and focus manually – which he does. He snaps a few shots.

Then all of a sudden, we hear a ‘boom’ … and FIREWORKS light up the sky just to the right of the Opera House. We stare at each other in amazement. Here we are, the camera is set up, it is pointed in the right direction and …. Fireworks? What are the odds? Gary says “Start shooting!” and I press the button down.

Beep, beep, …. beep, click – fireworks blasting – click. “Too many – too much light – dang”, I say. You see, 20 seconds is an eternity during a fireworks show.

Gary says "Just keep snapping shots" which I do - getting bursts of low fireworks in the trees.

I press the button again: Beep, beep … beep, click – nothing - no fireworks … then: boom – blast – a huge pink firework lights up the sky – click. "YES!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I had just captured, randomly one firework, next to a beautiful building I have always wanted to photograph, with the person I love most in the world standing next to me. Twenty seconds, just twenty seconds is what it takes to capture a Perfect Moment:

And, who knew - if you just keep trying ...

Just maybe

in one evening ...

You can experience an entire sequence of Perfect Moments ... which I think is called a Perfect Evening and a beautiful ending to a wonderful trip to Sydney.

If You Don't Succeed ...

... in getting the answer you want about the Sydney Opera House being lit at night ... just keep asking around! I had been originally told 'no' it was not lit and at 5:00am I could see that for my own eyes, but when seeing the lit Opera House again in a picture - called the Concierge and asked - who said it was lit every night until Midnight. Excited does not even begin to explain how I felt!

Gary and I went out last night - and, well something magical happened ... but that is for another post. Don't have time right now since we are heading to the airport in 1/2 hour - so I will just post a couple of my photos and skedaddle:

Our time here in Sydney was, well ... magical - as I said! I will post tonight - y'all will be in bed - with some photos that even in my wildest dreams didn't think I would ever be able to take!

Later!

Flying High

Having an absolute blast in Sydney!!!

We had a wonderful flight, arrived by train to the Marriott and were surprised with a room upgrade and access to the Executive Lounge - thanks to one of Gary's many Gold travel type cards. Great perks, downside is you have to travel a lot to gain the status - that I don't think is all that fun for these executive types.

Took off for Hyde Park (no apparently the OTHER Hyde Park) and saw St. Marys Cathedral:

Apparently I might not be ENTIRELY all Jacarunda'ed out:

Then off on a trek through the Botanical Gardens to get a shot of the Sydney Opera House. The Botanical Gardens is HUGE! And thus a huge walk, but it was worth it. Parrots were grazing in the grass in flocks:

And then, there it was!

You will probably be seeing the Sydney Opera House ad nauseum because I cannot stop taking photos of it:

One of my panoramas (to really appreciate you will need to click on the photo):

After our photo shoot - Gary taking FIVE - count 'em FIVE photos of the Opera House and me taking, oh, maybe around 200 with my panorama (like the one above - they are 6 - 7 photos apiece) we headed back to the Marriott of sore feet. Gary says our photo taking habits average into two normal people taking photographs - but I'm thinkin' ... FIVE?

Got ready and headed to Wicked playing at the Capitol Theatre - a beautiful theatre! It was SPECTACULAR! I loved every minute of it. It got out late, so my - "I brought a tripod and I'm damn well going to get night photos of the Opera House" mantra was weakening and we decided we could do it tomorrow night.

It is now Saturday and my eyes popped open at 4:22. Couldn't go back to sleep and had to chuckle that it was 5:22 Brisbane time. Kept waking Gary up so snuck into the bathroom to call downstairs (on those weird phones in the bathrooms) and asked when the Executive Lounge was opening (wireless Internet and not waking up Gary was my goal). He told me 6:30, but to try my key card (only certain ones will let you on the 30th floor where it is) in the door and if it didn't open, he would come open it up for me ... which he did. I SO LOVE Marriott Hotels!!

I have now incurred the wrath of the staff setting up for breakfast in here since I was sitting here when they unlocked the door - but don't really care. Gary just called and said "You've been gone an hour and a half ... where are you?" Ooops - goal number two not working so well. I told him. Apparently his first guess was that I was wandering the streets of Sydney alone ... silly fellow.

So I will finish up this blog, get out the the Executive Lounge workers hair, go back to my room and start what is sure to be an absolutely fantastic Saturday!!!

Note: the guy that let me in told me they only light up the Opera House for special occasions ... as Kimberly would note: *cries a little*.

Later!!!

Practice, Practice, Practice

In approximately nine and a half hours I board a plane for Sydney for my final 'hurrah' here in Australia. I am going to enjoy seeing Wicked, being with Gary and taking tons of photos ... but I am no good with night shots and I would kill for a good shot of the bridge there and especially the Sydney Opera House.

So - I practiced - figured out the tripod (this was much harder than I really thought it would / should have been) and took some shots. Now I know we are all sick and tired of seeing Story Bridge, but when that is what fills the entire wall of your apartment - it is hard to ignore when practicing:

I mentioned that the lights were originally white and wondered why they were now red. Some have also asked. I found the answer and they are not red - they are pink in honor of Breast Cancer Month. I assume they will be back to white next month.

The shots are pretty clear - even though the shutter time is about 20 seconds. I threw in the buildings off to my right just for variety:

Now for the tricky part - convincing my husband to traipse all over Sydney in the middle of the night with a tripod and cameras to get the perfect shot!