Day Three in my decent into Hell

Well, Gary is gone all week, Jessie is out of school all week and I seem to be in a funk. All functionality on my part seemed to have stopped when I hung up with the nice lady that said that Richmond State School was taking Jessie ... as soon as I go to court and hand her over... soon.

A photo I took in the Czech Republic in a tiny town called Kutna Hora kept roaming my brain all day:

It is a coat of arms in a tiny church, made entirely out of human bones. In fact the entire ossuary is filled with 'beautiful' objects: chandeliers, garland, chalices - all made out of human bone. Long story involving a half-blind monk, a few plagues, some dirt from the holy land and voila - you have the 'Bone Church' .... but I digress. I am pretty sure it is a particular part of the coat of arms that keeps flashing in my head: the bird poking some dudes eye out:

Seriously - who puts something like that on their coat of arms? Ok, it's out of bone so I am probably not even in the ballpark of weird, but still...

I am not sure what the bone church has to do with my week, but I will go with it. I have a 4 - 6 hour test for Jessie's thyroid tomorrow (I think that is where the bird and the poking might be coming in ....).

We will see how the week progresses - I am kinda curious of what Friday is going to be like (day before her birthday - day 7 of Jessie and me with no umpire - you never know) will let you know - cause I know you all are dying to find out.

Just for fun - one more with my guy and the chandelier, cause, who wouldn't want a chandelier out of bone in their own entry?

And just so you can win that $1000 question on Jepardy! Yes, there is, in the chandelier, at least one of every bone in the human body. Now, you learned something new today....

Just because of that dang flag post

I put this photo here just because it took me so much time to take out an annoying set of markers that were distracting from the picture (and Cherri asked me about it).



Ok, and because I just realized that Jessie does not have school this week, and with Gary off to Scout Camp all week, I might chew off a finger. So I am doing nuthin.

Goodbye Jessie

I really never thought the day would come …. the day I said ‘Good Bye’ to Jessie.

The call came yesterday afternoon. I was on the computer trying to figure out how to make a blog site and it was Vicki. She is the lady who looks for placements for kiddos like mine. A few weeks ago she said the prospects were bleak and I had resigned myself that Jess would be with us for quite a while. The “I hate you mom”, the hitting, the kicking, the not letting me bathe her, the interruptions when Gary and I need to talk, the mess! I sighed and moved on.

So when she blurted out that the Richmond State School was going to take her, and take her in about 4 weeks, my heart stopped. And then it broke, and I cried.

How do you discard your child? Everyone says the right things: “She would be going off to college any way at this age”, “It is the best thing for her and for you” (true), but she is a 3 year old in a big body and I am going to court to say “Take her”. Is she going to be scared? Is she going to be abused? Is she going to wonder where Mommy and Daddy are?

It does not feel right, but I know it is.

I hate doing hard things, and I suck at it.

Some photos from our June Trip

I have never denied that I am a complete and total idiot ... so with a computer science degree and all - I have no clue how to work this blog. It may take some time before things are running smoothly. Here are some of my favorite photos from our June trip to Yellowstone, the Tetons and Bear Lake. You might notice that, as in life, I am not a people person. I will make an effort to try to put photos in that include family members (.... but we are so ugly ....!).

"Hummingbirds at Sunrise"

"Sunrise at Bear Lake"

"Tired"

The Tetons from "Mormon Row"

The Tetons and a Barn (duh)

"Sunset at Yellowstone"

Upper falls at Yellowstone

Sunset at Yellowstone


If you click on the photograph, it will enlarge it.